“I don’t like feeling rejected.”
“That’s why you don’t need Kelso. You’re too good to have your stuff locked away in his house. You’d never get discovered while creating stuff that’ll only be seen by that asshole.”
“But you had no right to make that decision.”
“I didn’t,” I say, my eyebrows arched.
“You used me to get at him.”
“No. I know the slimeball, I was trying to protect you from him.”
“You were so, that’s why you came and did that to me in his bedroom.”
“Skye, angel, I didn’t go there intending for that to happen. I couldn’t help myself, you’re too irresistible.”
“No.”
“Yes, don’t you think I would’ve brought a condom if that’s why I was there?”
“Maybe. Yes. Unless…”
“Unless nothing, why don’t you want to believe me? Because you believe him when he says I used you to get to him? I thought we got through that.”
Skye looks and me, at the floor, around the room. I don’t think she knows what to believe, but I need her to believe me. I’m ready to tilt her head to mine and kiss her until she believes, but as I tighten my grip on her hair, she pulls away and drops into a chair.
“I have to sit down.”
It’s About Time
(Skye)
I pull away from Lawson and drop into the chair. With my face in my hands, I try to make sense of the past fifteen minutes of my life.
The last thing I expected to see when I stormed into the hotel was my art, framed and displayed prominently in the lobby.
The very last thing I expected to hear was the manager of the hotel telling me how many people offer to buy them from the hotel. Which explains why Gordon gets inquiries from all over the country.
This morning, I thought everything in my life was lost. My parents were lost months ago. My career, which never really started, was lost when Kelso fired me. Lawson was lost, because I blame him for losing the Kelso job. I still blame him.
Except now I see I didn’t need the Kelso job. I hated Kelso. I hated the idea of my work being locked up in some mansion. But I’d needed the money so bad. And I had my heart set on the gallery show.
Meanwhile, I’d already been having my own gallery show, right here in this hotel. Lawson went and did it all without telling me. After I’d made it clear I didn’t want his help.
I don’t understand how I feel or what to think.
“I should be mad, but thank you,” I say, looking up at Lawson.
“There’s nothing to thank me for.”
“There is. You did so much for me, and I appreciate it. I really do.”
“But?”
“There’s no but. Not really.” I don’t think, anyway. Why did he do all this stuff for me? Why didn’t he tell me? Why did he do it when I told him not to help me? It’s so important for me to make it on my own.
“It doesn’t seem like there’s no but.”
“There isn’t. I don’t know what to think.” I really don’t. Every emotion in existence has coursed through my veins today. I’m already running on no sleep from last night. It’s like my brain has shut down, and all my emotions, heightened from exhaustion, are spinning at ninety miles an hour. I can’t make sense of anything.
Lawson heaves a great sigh and sits at the table in the chair beside me.
“Skye, this is killing me. I don’t know how to make you see how much I care about you. You don’t know what to think, but you’re in the driver’s seat here. I want you in my life. I need you in my life.” Lawson jams his fingers into his hair.
My entire body is numb. I need time to think. The painting is near me, and I pull it in front of me. The pain and anguish I’d felt when I created it come flooding back. I wanted him to know the pain I felt. That’s what I came here for in the first place.
“I just don’t know.”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about. The only person I’ve ever wanted.”
“Yeah, you kind of know my background, so I know what you mean.” He obviously knows I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before. I wonder if he realizes I’ve never had any boyfriend before.
“I flat out don’t know what to do. I’ve seriously never been in this situation before.”
“Well neither have I.”
“So why are you torturing us both?” He swallows, hard.
I manage a weak smile. “It’s been a rollercoaster morning, my head is swimming. I need time to clear my head.” Maybe I should go home and crawl into bed to digest everything.