No more.
Now all I can think about is Eric, and the way he spun me around on roller skates. About the way he fills my body, both physically and emotionally. He consumes me.
Every moment I’m away from him, I ache. I actually want to go back into mediation, just to see him.
“Speaking of, kind of.” Lily turns, bright smile on her face. She’s practically vibrating, which is bizarre behaviour for her. “I met someone.”
“What?” I shriek and clamp my hands over my mouth. “I mean, what? When?”
“A few weeks ago.” She blushes. “I didn’t want to say anything because it’s been so chaotic for you and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was bragging.”
“Shut up. Lily! That’s amazing! Tell me all about him!”
“Well, it started off very low-key and quiet. One night, you left the bar early and we sort of flirted for a while. It’s been weeks of it, actually. We never exchanged numbers until last night. It’s been over a month, Kate. I thought I was going to die.”
“Worth it?”
“Very.” A huge grin cuts through her face. “He’s such a gentleman. Always bought my drinks, would never let me pay no matter how hard I tried. And girl, I tried. Slipped my credit card over early and everything. He always managed to take it. Opened the door for me, walked me to my car.”
“That’s so sweet!” I squeeze her arm. I’ve watched Lily lead a terrible dating life for years now and it’s wonderful to finally see her happy. Still, something about it hits me in all the wrong spaces. We don’t ever talk like this about Eric because we aren’t together, not really. She’d tear me apart if she learned about our date to the rink.
“It is! And weird after Bobby. I took care of everything with him for years. To have someone want to look out for me is so strange but so nice. We have so much in common, too. It’s insane, Kate. He loves the same obscure shit I do.”
“Well, that’s awfully… obscure.”
“Very funny. We were talking about all these incredibly terrible old sci-fi movies we both love and it turns out we have the same favorites. It was like my soulmate popped out of the earth and appeared on a bar stool.”
“How romantic.”
“I know it sounds so cheesy, but I thought you might understand. I’m just so freaking excited, Kate. We’re going out later tonight for the first time. Thankfully, he’s not one of those jerks who feels the need to adhere to some stupid three-day rule for calling.”
“That’s not still a thing, is it?” I ask, moderately horrified. “I mean, we’re all grownups now. Surely that’s not still something guys do.”
“It is. For certain subsets of the male species anyway.” Lily wrinkles her nose. “So, tell me about Eric. How is that going?”
“Oh.” I busy myself with reorganizing our desk to keep from meeting her very prying gaze. “Nothing really is happening. David showed up the other night, though.”
“What?” Lily’s jaw drops. “He did not. What did he say?”
“Well,” I shudder, remembering the evening more clearly than I’d like. “He came over with roses, begging to be forgiven. He cried, Lily. It was terrible. I finally agreed to talk to him and went to change. He was standing naked in my living room.”
“Naked?”
“Naked. Fully. He didn’t look like he was crying anymore, either. Go figure.”
“That man needs to be castrated.”
“That would certainly make a lot of things easier. He’s disgusting and I really hate him.”
“I don’t blame you.”
Her phone rings, of course the new man. While she chats him up, I find myself staring at my own phone, waiting for a call that won’t come. It’s like I’m living in the spaces in between my life. Things happen, but at the wrong times, or when they shouldn’t. I can’t fully enjoy anything.
Nausea sweeps over me and I excuse myself from the room for fresh air. This love business is going to kill me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ERIC
Six in the evening rolls around. I reach into my office mini fridge and pull out a beer. At the rate Sophie stacks paper on my desk, I’m going to be here all night. I’ve been working on my other cases consistently until the last few weeks and catching up will kill me.
David has required extra babysitting. He’s been caught sneaking around Los Angeles again and I’m about to really have the asshole put under house arrest so I don’t have a heart attack from his bullshit.
I down the beer and pick up a file to review. It’s not all celebrities in my office, mostly business executives or people with daddy’s money making a marriage go away. Like it’s no big deal. Like those papers they signed and the promises they made before whatever deity they chose were meaningless.