My heart pounds and my knees are weak, but I have to get out of here. To retreat home where I don’t have to suffer in his presence.
Knox reaches out and grabs my hand, the contact exploding my heart. My chest heaves, stuck between what I want to do and what I need to do.
“I watched your latest video,” he says.
I freeze. He must think I’m an idiot. I swore I’d never post a video unplanned again, but I went ahead and did it again. This time completely unedited, complete with crying and stupid wishes and everything else. My cheeks heat with shame.
At the same time, I want to know what his reaction is.
Or maybe it’s better that I don’t know. That it’ll hurt too much when he pushes me away even more.
I swallow, and say, “Oh.”
Knox squeezes my hand, and pulls me back onto the couch. Our legs are touching, and he’s still holding my hand. I’m exhausted, but the contact wakes my body.
“It was never about you, or my feelings for you. It was about Piper.”
“I know. I just wanted you to see that I understand, but also that you’re too hard on yourself.”
“You know, a lot of people commented on it.”
“They have?” I haven’t looked at it since I posted it. I probably ruined my credibility and career because of it, and right now I want to pretend it never happened.
“They all say I’m an idiot.”
I don’t say anything, but am relieved to hear my fans supporting me. It really does mean a lot to me.
“And I agree with them,” Knox says.
It takes a second for the words to sink in, but when they do, my head flies to look him in the eye for the first time since he woke me.
“You do?” I say, in disbelief.
“I do. And I’ve been thinking. You and Piper, you get along so well. And God knows I’m going to need help with a teenage daughter. She deserves you. At least a chance with you. If you were serious about what you said.”
“I am, absolutely. She’s so amazing.” I laugh through my emotions, “I never thought I’d want to hang around with a thirteen year old so much.”
“She feels the same way about you.”
“And you?”
“Even if I don’t deserve you, I want you. I can’t go on denying the way I feel about you. You make me feel things I’ve never felt in my entire fucking life. And I thought I’d have to ignore them, for Piper’s sake. But if you really feel the way about both of us that you said in the video, then I can’t let go of you. Because you’re right, when you know you’re meant to be with someone, you know.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as he speaks. It all seems like a dream, and part of me wonders if I’m asleep on the couch.
“Of course you deserve me. I understand why you thought you let Piper down. I let her down, too. I should’ve asked her more questions when she brought up her mother, and it breaks my heart that I let her down so much.”
“She isn’t your responsibility.”
“It’s nothing to do with whose responsibility she is. I let someone I care about down.”
“That’s what I did. With you, I let you down.”
“What you did is confirm everything I thought about you.”
“That I’m an asshole?” Knox says, his nose twitching.
“No, that you’re the most caring man I’ve ever met. I just want you to see that you can care for Piper and me.”
“I know that now, after Nathan. After all the comments on your video. And most of all, because you and Piper get along so well. I can’t keep you from her. Which is good, because it’s been tearing me up inside. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
As he finishes his last word, he cups my head and presses his lips against mine. I fling my arms around him, holding him as tight as I can as our kiss deepens.
All of the tension of the last few days melts away as I melt into his arms. All thoughts of Nathan vanish in his strong arms. Above all, my body overflows with everything I feel for Knox.
He drags his lips away, and with a low voice says, “There’s just one thing.”
“What?” I ask, gasping and desperate for his lips back.
“You’re going to have to learn to come in silence.”
His words force a moan from my throat. Knox puts his hand over my mouth, and says, “That’s what I’m talking about. Can you be quiet?”
“I thought you liked my voice,” I tease, wiping the tear stains from my cheeks.
“I do. But I also like your pussy. And right now I can’t have both.”
“You move fast, right back to my pussy. Is that what this is really all about, I’m here, you’re here, we might as well get together,” I say, teasing, my cheek pressed against his.