Flirting with him. That was a bad idea, no matter how I try to swing it. He is purposefully trying to find an error, to catch us in a lie and I am giving him more ammunition. I bite my lip. I hope I was subtle. I thought that I was, but you never know. He seems to be quite the perceptive man.
What’s worse is I can’t deny that I want to see him again – I sincerely do. I love the way he looks at me, the way the tension sparks between us, the way he stares into my eyes like they are the most important thing he has ever seen.
I’m so lost in thought that I almost don’t see Cade at first. I find him standing at the bottom of my apartment block. He looks agitated and I suspect that he would be waiting outside my very door if he wasn’t too polite for that. His arms are folded and there is thunder in his eyes.
And suddenly I feel sick to my stomach. I’ve gone behind his back on something – even though it’s something I felt was right. If he caught me out, he’ll be furious and he’d have every right to be.
I steel myself and stand at my full height, preparing for an argument. Anger bubbles just below the surface – I have the right to see whoever I want and besides, I did it in his best interest, not in an attempt to hurt him. I make my way to his side.
“Cade? Is something wrong?”
He smiles and turns to me and I can see the danger dancing beneath the surface of his eyes. He keeps his distance from me. “Can we speak in private?” He smiles, a low, soft smile and I shiver.
“Sure… is something the matter?”
“No, no…” He shakes his head as he wanders to the elevator. I join him and we step into it. It’s full of people. “I just wanted to pay my beloved a visit.”
I check that my phone is in my pocket, taking comfort in the fact that if something happens, my neighbors and security will hear. I frown at my own thoughts. I don’t doubt the anger between us, but no way would he ever hurt me – I’m letting my thoughts run away with me.
We head down the passageway in silence. When we reach my apartment, I unlock it and we step inside. The moment I have shut the door, I expect him to start yelling at me. Instead, he turns almost casually, “I was walking down the main strip today during my break.” He begins, and I can feel my blood run cold and hot at the very same time.
“Oh?” I answer. I can see he expects me to confess, to grovel, but I will be doing none of that. I did nothing wrong.
“Yes.” The dangerous tone is back in his voice and he smiles, “And what do I see but you and Mr. Adam Jones getting cozy over coffee.” His smile drops, “Care to explain that, Ellen?”
I narrow my eyes, anger blooming between us, “Yes. A business meeting to discuss our wedding happened.” I shoot back, “Talking about the dates – the dates and details that you and I agreed on.”
I narrow my eyes further, “Something wrong with that?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His anger hasn’t softened and I can see the tension in his shoulders.
“Because you’re not my keeper!” It bursts out of me, “We’re not even in a real goddamn relationship!” The hurt that I have been holding back comes flooding out of me in a sickening rush.
“Because I’m playing the part you want me to play, but that doesn’t mean you own me. This isn’t even real.” My breathing is short and sharp.
Cade’s eyes darken, “I’m not the only one benefiting from this.” He hisses, “You’re getting just as much out of this as I am, so don’t go acting like you don’t.”
I ball my hands into fists, “I went to a business meeting to help you, you selfish bastard.” I stare him down and the tension rises between us like a fog. “I did it to keep up the ruse. You know, most couples are independent in some way.” I glare at him, “Not that you’d know the first thing about being in a real relationship.”
“Oh, and you do?” He sneers, “Somehow I doubt that. You think you’re being subtle, but you couldn’t be more obvious.”
It’s hurtful and my chest aches. “Then you can go ahead and leave. Forget you and your money!” I need the money, I need to do this, but it’s hard to think straight when he’s pushing every single one of my buttons.
“Well, forget you and your help.” He shoots back with equal animosity.
Before I know what’s happened, his lips are on mine and he’s kissing me. My back hits the wall and I scrabble for purchase, twisting my hands in his jacket, unwilling to let go.
Our tongues collide and I feel like I am on fire, the searing feeling burning through me. Anger and desire twist together to form something out of this world, something that feels all-consuming and vast. It feels like it is drowning me and I don’t know how to breathe.