I don't have to face Knox if I'm not technically here. Even if I am technically here.
It suits me fine anyway, since there's always more work for me to do.
Upstairs is unbearably hot and stuffy. The heat releases forty years of smells from the carpet. There's no way I can work in my fake bedroom. Instead, I grab my laptop and find the coolest room in the house.
It's the hideous kitchen, naturally. At least it gives me extra motivation to work, so I can earn enough money to have it ripped out.
The first thing I do is check the comments on the F*ck Buddies video I posted yesterday. I still can't believe I did something so rash. How embarrassing. I hope my viewers forgive me for it.
I intend to capture all the comments, save them to my computer, and delete the video before anyone else has the chance to see it.
Except there are only two comments:
Ox Man: He doesn't want a relationship either, go suck him off already. You know you're gagging for it.
And, underneath it, timestamped an hour later:
Hung like a Donkey: What he said. Go get fucked u uptight bitch.
Nice. I'd expected some troll stuff but I'd also expected more from my fans. Especially all my female viewers. Fine, maybe not many people saw it. Other than the seven hundred and eighty thousand views it's showing.
I click onto the other video I posted yesterday, my rant against Nathan, the Don't be Annoying video.
Hung like a Donkey: Ur more annoying than him
Great, same troll again. I click into another video.
Mel9424: Love you, you've brought so much joy to my life ;) ;)
I smile, glad that I can help someone. There are a dozen more like it. My eyes keep scrolling down the screen, until I see a comment that sticks out at me.
Hung like a Donkey: U don't know what u r talking about
Um, okay. It's the same troll again, and my pulse increases.
I click through my older videos. Hung like a Donkey has commented on every single video.
Hung like a Donkey: U talk bullshit
Hung like a Donkey: Ur already stupid but U need to be spanked
Hung like a Donkey: Go get some so u know what you're saying
And on and on.
All in the past day. Normally I can ignore trolls, but the fact this guy has commented on so many of my videos freaks me out. I report him to YouTube, but there's not much else I can do.
The second I've hit report abuse, I FaceTime Darla.
"Check out my latest troll attack" I say the second she appears on my screen.
Darla's pale eyes flit across the screen as she clicks into her browser and through my videos.
"What the what?" she says.
"I know, right. I've reported it but it's freaky that he's posted on so many."
"Make sure you take screen shots of them all."
"Good idea."
"Some people have way too much fucking time on their hands," she says.
While she's talking, I grab all of the comments before YouTube takes them down.
The nice thing about living with Nathan, no matter how useless a man he was, was that when my videos were subject to a troll attack, it wasn't just me in the house. Having him in bed beside me made me sleep a little easier.
Now it's just me and an oversized pillow for comfort.
"How are you doing, anyway? Anything new?" I ask.
"You mean do I have any more gossip on Nathan?" Darla winks twice at the webcam.
"No, do not tell me anything about Nathan. I mean it. How are you?"
"I'm great, babe. I found a new man. Well, if he's old enough to be called a man yet."
"Please tell me he's old enough to drink." Is this to do with her turning thirty soon?
"Of course, otherwise how boring would that be? He's been old enough to drink for a whole year now."
"How does he know what he's doing in bed? Doesn't he come too fast?"
"Oh hell no, I'm teaching him. That's the fun. This boy doesn't mind following instructions."
"How long has it been? You didn't know him the last time we talked."
"He's a fast learner. Let's just say I'm molding him into my dream man." Darla motions her hands, miming the perfect male shape. She starts wide at the top, descending into a vee shape. When her hands meet, she flips one over and mock grabs a crotch.
I snort. "You're bonkers."
"And you're not? Had any more run-ins with Mr Hottie next door?"
"Nope," I say, turning my face so she can't tell I'm lying.
"Fine. Tell me Friday, since you're holding out on me now."
"So anyway," I hesitate, "I'm going to come to you and stay for the weekend."
"What? No way, I'm coming to see your new place."
"You absolutely are not coming here. I miss going to our old haunts, I'm coming to you."
"Not. Gonna. Happen. I need to see him in the flesh. If you come here, leave your keys under the mat. Because I'm staying at yours this weekend, with or without you." It's her don't-mess-with-me voice. The one everyone knows means business. I'm sure her new boy toy is very familiar with it. If she says she's coming, she's coming. If I'm not here and don't leave the key, she'll sleep in her car in the driveway.
"But … "
"No buts. Don't think you can run and hide from introducing me to your neighbor. Because I know that's what you're trying to do here."
Well she's wrong about one thing, that's definitely not what I'm trying to avoid. Unless it comes under the umbrella of avoiding all contact with Knox whatsoever.
It's not going to be possible to avoid him forever, is it?
Ugh. The reality of the thought is a blow to my gut.
But I can hide a little longer, give him time to forget. Make the situation a little less raw.
Darla and I talk for a little longer, before saying our goodbyes.
I throw myself back into my work, planning out the videos I'm going to shoot this week. I've got two product placements. Fortunately neither makes noises.
My doorbell rings, and I sink down low against my kitchen table, even though I'm around the corner from the door, and there's no way anyone could ever see me.
"Avery," Piper says through the door.
I'm relieved it's just her, but still don't want to see her in case she tells Knox I'm not sick after all. There's always a good chance of her inviting me over to their house for more pizza or dessert.
She bangs on the door, though not with as much force as her father uses. Riddled with guilt, I freeze in place to stay silent.
The letter slot snaps shut, and the house goes quiet again. I peek around the corner. A white envelope is on the floor.
I retrieve the envelope and tear it open. It's a homemade card, with a surprisingly good drawing of the two of us shopping together. Thank You is written in purple bubble letters across the front.
Inside, written in purple pen, it says:
Dear Avery,
Thank you so much for taking me shopping. I had so much fun and it's so nice to have pretty bras. I hope we get to do it again, I love hanging out with you.
My dad says thank you, too. He said you're super nice and funny, and how lucky we are that you live next door to us. He also said you can come for pizza another time.
And that he thinks you're really pretty.
Piper xoxo
My heart bursts. She's so sweet. I actually had a lot of fun shopping with her. I wonder if it's possible to hang out with her and have zero contact whatsoever with her father.
Though I wonder why she's telling me all the stuff he's supposedly saying about me.
Knox
I haven't seen Avery in days. It's already Wednesday. She's obviously scarred by my drilling comments. Except she posted the F*ck Buddies video after that conversation. Even though the video's gone now.
Did she change her mind about wanting a fuck buddy? I haven't. As long as she agrees to the no-relationship part.
Avery must feel like a sham, posting all these how to have sex videos online, when she doesn't appear to be having any herself. No wonder she wants a fuck buddy. It's not just for her body's needs, she needs one for her job.
I'd be doing her a huge service.
On Monday, she didn't answer her door, no matter how long I banged on it. Yesterday, she didn't answer her door, no matter how much I tried to talk her out through her closed door and windows. It's impressive that she's kept all her windows shut so tight, since it's been over eighty every day and I haven't even worn a shirt all week.
Today, I have a different tactic.
I hear Avery's front door shut, and jog to the front of her house. She probably thinks I've gone to pick up Piper from school, like I normally do. But not today, I asked her friend's mom if she'd give her a drive home.
"Hey," I say, rounding the corner of her house. She's on her driveway, wearing a flimsy sundress that I want to tear off her right this second. She must've been making a break for her car. I stride over to her.
She looks at me like a deer in headlights, and a broad smile forms across my face.
"Knox," she says as I near her.
"Thanks for taking Piper shopping."
"No problem, anytime. She's a great kid. You've done a good job, considering her mother is in Africa. I mean, what she's doing is noble, but her priority really should be her daughter."
Africa? What the fuck is Avery talking about? Focusing on my goal, I ignore the comment.
"She's a good kid," I say.
"Anyway, I'd better run," she says, turning away.
On reflex, I reach out and grab her upper arm to stop her from leaving, before she can go hide again. The second my hand touches her soft skin, a rush of something shoots from my hand all the way down to me feet.
Judging from the way she looks to the sky and swallows, she felt it too.