Sure.
I pimp so many of these vibrators, and they all say the same. Well, maybe not the outboard motor part. That's kind of weird.
It's a sturdy box and I lift the lid, exposing the toy inside. It's wrapped in a silky cloth that's covered in purple kisses. It's visual, and will look good on the webcam, which is always a bonus. Pretty items get a higher purchase rate, and I get a kick back on every sale I send them.
Plus, now that I don't have a sex life, solo toys are easiest for me to yammer on about. Since I identify with them now and all.
It's really hard to do this job without a sex life. How depressing, dishing out advice to all these people having sex, when I haven't had so much as a kiss in six whole months.
I think I'm even forgetting how it's done. And I'm certainly running out of new ideas. Sometimes I feel like a nun doling out sex advice.
Turning my attention to the toy, at first I think you only plug the Xtreme Buzz in to charge it, then realize the cord is fixed in. This vibrator must be used while plugged into the wall. The cord is long, but that's still some planning if you're going to use it with a partner. ‘Over here honey, near the plug.' Yeah.
Maybe it's intended to be used solo.
I get down on my hands and knees to plug it in under my desk. Once I'm back in my chair, I turn on the dial. It's the lowest setting, but the vibrations in my hand are strong enough to resonate through my entire body. And that's at a slow speed.
Slowly, I turn up the dial until it's at its fastest setting. Fuck me.
This thing is insane. Yes, it's loud like an outboard motor, but holy fucking God, even just holding it in my hand sends vibrations through my entire body.
It's making me wet, really wet, so I turn it off and drop it on my desk.
My breath heaves as I stare at it. Xtreme Buzz is actually an understatement. A script starts to form in my head and I gaze blankly out the window while I let it form.
A movement breaks my trance. It's Knox, he's lifting his garage door. As he stretches to open it fully, his t-shirt lifts up and exposes the bottom of his back muscles.
I zero in on the muscles, wishing he'd turn around so I can see his abs.
The next thing I know, Knox takes off his t-shirt and tosses it into his garage. My breath stops as I survey the perfect specimen of a man.
In addition to all the arm tattoos, he has a few on his chest. His big, powerful, muscular chest.
This isn't good. He's my neighbor. And a jerk. I try to drag my eyes away, but can't.
Like Darla said, there's nothing wrong with looking. And right now I have the best view going.
Knox disappears into the garage. A few seconds later, a car reverses all the way out of the garage. It's not the red Mustang from earlier this week. This one is powder blue, but I have no idea what it is. Something old, although it looks shiny new.
He gets out of the car and raises the hood. I assume he's taking advantage of the beautiful weather as much as I am.
Leaning under the hood, his black jeans mold to his muscular ass, and I get a perfect view.
This is bad, and wrong, and all sorts of other stuff, but my pussy is still wet from the Xtreme Buzz and I have an itch that needs to be scratched.
Standing up, I undo my shorts and let them fall around my feet.
No. I shouldn't do this.
But his ass, those arms, that torso. I slip my finger under my panties to feel how wet I am. Sopping. And at this point, it's difficult to know how much is from the vibrator and how much is from Knox.
I pull off my panties and sit back at my desk. It takes a bit of contorting, but I get myself in a position where, due to the angles, I can discreetly look out my window at him without him being able to see me.
There's no need for any lubricant, I'm wet enough already. I put the Xtreme Buzz to my entrance and insert it slowly into me. It's actually quite thick and long. Fucking thick.
My breath is already shallow, and I slowly turn the dial on. The low setting resonates through me, but I keep on turning until it's at the fastest setting.
It doesn't take long before my entire body, from my head to my toes, is full of tension. I flick my eyes out the window at Knox.
He's standing in a different position now, giving me a side view of his muscular bicep. I imagine his arms wrapped around me, holding me tight.
His imagined strength sends a low moan out of my mouth, and I wonder how long before the dam bursts. I concentrate on the pulsing inside of me as it builds and builds at an alarmingly fast rate. It seems like every cell in my body is vibrating, and my legs go weak.
A high-pitched moan bursts from me as the damn crumbles and my body gyrates with the craziest orgasm I've felt in years. Possibly ever.
My hand is shaking so much, it can barely hold the vibrator. But before my brain can send the signal to let go, the tension once again fills me. A single glance at Knox and my brain imagines all sorts of possibilities.
I muffle a scream as an even more powerful orgasm rips through me with such force, I fall out of my precarious position. I have to scramble to keep from falling over.
My laptop falls to the floor and the coffee mug falls onto it, smashing. I worry about the noise and if Knox heard it. Only then do I realize my head is smushed up against the window screen, and Knox is staring straight at me.
As fast as my still climaxing body can move, I slink down from the open window, off my desk and onto the floor.
Once the last ripples subside, I bury my hands in my face. As if the laptop incident wasn't bad enough. I really hope I managed to dampen that scream. And all those moans. He's only actually about ten feet away and what the hell was I thinking with the open windows.
Idiot.
Knox
I adjust my stiff cock in my jeans. Fuck me. There's no doubt that was just Avery's come face smushed up against her window screen. She's going to have lines in her cheeks from it.
Not that she noticed at the time.
I don't know what kind of sex toy that was, but it sure as fuck was loud.
Her moaning and screaming was better than I even imagined. The back of my neck is prickling at the memory of them.
But what the fuck was she doing, with her head up against her window? Making those noises. Doesn't she know how close I am to her open window? It's like she was up there just to call my cock into action.
Unless. No.
I put my t-shirt on and stick my head back under the hood of the '58 Corvette that I'm working on. I brought it here from our main garage yesterday, where Marcus repaired the ripped upholstery in the seats. It's almost ready, and I can do everything else that needs to be done here.
My cock doesn't get the hint from my brain that this is work time, and that it needs to go down. Avery isn't an option anyway.
No matter how hard she makes me.
I ignore the pain in my pants and force myself to focus on the car.
When it's six, I head inside. There's still enough chili for tonight, our third night in a row eating it. At some point in my life, I'm going to buy some plastic containers so I can freeze the leftovers and we don't have to eat the same one-pot wonder night after night.
"Supper!" I call to Piper as I set everything on the table.
She appears, turns up her nose and whines, "Again?"
"Don't worry, it's gone now."
"Can we order pizza tomorrow? Please?"
"Sure thing." Saves me cooking on the weekend.
"It's my shopping trip tomorrow, don't forget. I need money, too. Like you said I could have."
"Sure."
I'd pushed it from my mind. Somehow the topic of me not being enough for my daughter wasn't something I wanted to dwell on.
Piper swallows her food, and says, "Hey, can Avery come for pizza too?"
"No," I snap without hesitation.
"But, Dad, why? It would be fun. And you'd love her, I know you would."
Because I'd end up nailing her against the wall to coax those sounds she made earlier from her throat. I know I could do better than whatever sex toy she has to use.
"Because I said so."
She takes another mouthful of food, and glares at me while she chews. I try my best to ignore her.
"Don't you think it's weird that you're okay with sending me off to the mall with someone you don't even know?"
"I do know her, she lives next door."
"You know where she lives, that isn't the same as knowing her."
"Close enough."
"Is it really? What if she's an ax murderer and I'm too young and naive to see it?"
"Avery's not an ax murderer." Though she is a little weird. And is all over the internet talking about sex. And masturbates with her head against her window.
Maybe Piper is right. I should know Avery better before letting Piper go off with her on a shopping trip.
"Tell you what, go next door and tell Avery to come over here now for dessert."
"Now?" she exclaims, jumping from her chair.
"Yes, now."
"Dessert! Really?"
"Sure."
"Do we have any? We never eat dessert."
"I'll find something. Go get her while I load the dishwasher."
Piper runs out the front door, and I stack all the dishes into the dishwasher. I open the cupboard, looking for some sort of dessert, but there are only bags of chips and chocolate chip cookies.
Maybe there's ice cream. I dig around in the freezer and find a tub of vanilla, but when I open the container it's mostly empty and what's left is covered in freezer burn.
Chocolate chip cookies will have to do.
While I wait for them, I crack open another beer and take a seat on the denim couch.
Piper's been over there a while, and I start to wonder if Avery will come at all. Though I know how persuasive Piper is.