Not interested. Not with Kate in my life. Whatever is going on with her. I haven't told a soul and don't plan to. I don't understand what happens to me when I'm around her, but I'm tired of fighting it. I'm tired of busting my ass in the gym and in the courtroom to sweat her out. It hasn't worked.
Time to just embrace it.
"Sophie, do you know what this envelope is?" I call over my shoulder. "Who brought it?"
"No idea, Mr. Stevens." She pops her head in the office. "Want me to ask around?"
"Nah. I'll just have my coffee first. Wanted a jump on it."
I pour a cup and study it. As a habit, I don't like opening envelopes first thing in the morning. Anything could be in there, and I mean anything. A client's ex once mailed me her used panties. Another time, an attempt at blackmail.
Never try to blackmail a lawyer unless you've got something really, really fucking good. That guy didn't.
Caffeinated, I sit down and slice it open with a pocket knife, expecting the worst. Hell, for all I know it's an announcement that I'm a daddy or some shit. Never sticks, though. God love those condoms, ladies.
I pull out a stack of photos that take me only seconds to recognize. It's the prints from my fake date with Kate at Descanso. I'd almost forgotten about them at this point and have no idea what took Paxton this goddamn long to print them.
There are at least three dozen here with the film taped to a signed form, assuring there are no other copies floating around. Standard procedure every time we do this shit.
I flip my desk phone over to Do Not Disturb and go through all the glossy photos slowly, taking my time to savor each one. Paxton is getting pretty good after this many stings. He really knows how to angle it so things look convincing.
If I recall properly, though, not much convincing was needed on the part of Kate McArthur. She had walls up, but she willingly knocked them down to let Sir Eric on over. It's fun, though, to see her reaction to my flowers and picnic. I spent so much time vying for angles in the beginning, I missed most of it.
The way she looks at me in these stirs more feelings in my gut. Feelings I can't ignore any longer. I touch her face in each of them like I'm touching her in real life and feel an overwhelming sense of … happiness? Pride? Joy?
"I see you got the pictures."
Paxton materializes in front of me and I nearly jump out of my skin at the surprise. Hastily trying to restack them, I cough and shrug.
"Not bad, Pax. You're on your way to a Terry O'Neil award."
"Shame I couldn't get the naughty ones later. Your floor was too high up." I shoot him a look but he laughs. "I'm kidding, bro. Kidding. Though it would have made for some great evidence. Unfortunately, I think most of the judges know what your bare ass looks like."
"I just know how to work a crowd. What can I say?" I shove the pictures back in the envelope. "Thanks for the help."
Paxton knocks his knuckles against the table and stares at me hard. "Going to use them?"
"I'll have to look them all over again. Most of them make it pretty clear it's me in the shots and I need plausible deniability. Don't need to get fined again, you know? I like my job."
"Bullshit."
"I like getting paid by my job."
"Better."
I kick my feet up on the desk and sip my coffee. Paxton does the same. We've been friends for a long fucking time and we both know this is just a front we're putting up. He doesn't say anything, though, and neither do I.
Now that he's said it, I am disappointed he didn't have photos from our first night together. That is a memory I wouldn't mind reliving a time or five. Kate was clearly looking for something to fill a void and I just so happened to have a dick that did the job.
After a long dry spell of terrible bar hookups, that was the first time in a very long time I'd enjoyed myself in the bedroom. Everything about her was intoxicating, from her scent to the way she moved on top of me.
A video would be even better than photos.
"Ready to cut the bullshit yet?" Paxton clears his throat and takes another sip of his coffee. "There are at least four fucking amazing shots in there you can use. You had her eating out of your palm and there were plenty of branches in the way to hide your identity. Everyone looking will know it's not David. That's fucking talent right there."
"I guess I'll have to look again."
"I said cut the bullshit." Paxton sit back up and stares me down. "I know you've got your dick twisted around this girl, Eric. It's fucking weird, but I get it. Trust me when I say I do. However, I also know your career is riding on this shit and if you let her derail you-"
"I know, man. Shit." I sit up, too and wave him off. "Get the fuck out of here. I've got work to do."
"You need to put that shit in David's file. Right now. While I'm watching."
"I need to find these pictures you bragged so much about first."
"I'll pull them out for you."
"Paxton." I've hit my limit and then some. Paxton stands, his hands in the air and nods. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I've got this."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"If you say you got it, I'll trust you to have it. Don't let yourself down."
"I won't."
He shuts the door and leaves me with a headache. I go back through the pictures and find some of the shots he mentioned. They really were convincing. Her lips were pursed and her eyes hooded, like she was waiting to be kissed. Flipping through them takes me back to that evening, under a tree, surrounded by flowers and birds with a beautiful woman.
It was fake, that whole meeting. But it didn't feel fake after a while.
I shove the photos back in the mix and throw them all in a bottom desk drawer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
KATE
Things are finally coming together for the charity gala in the ways I like to see: finalized plans, confirmed reservations, venue decorations boxed up and ready to be hung, and more lattes than the eye can see. Lily and I have been plugging away for weeks and it's finally feeling complete.
"This time last year, we didn't have half this much done." Lily sticks a pen in her hair and stares at the whiteboards and blackboards hung around the office. "This is incredible. What's different this year?"
"No David." I stand next to her and mimic her pose. "Last year he was constantly getting in the way, confusing the vendors, keeping me away from it all."
"I remember that." Lily frowns and throws an arm around my neck. "I'm glad he's gone."
"You and me both."
"Maybe now you can really take Los Angeles by storm. No man holding you back and all that."
"You mean we." I shoot her a friendly wink. "I am nothing in this town without you."
"Please. I'd still be stuck serving lattes and microwaved breakfast sandwiches if it wasn't for you. This stuff changed my life."
"Hopefully it'll change a lot more." I study all the boards again and take a deep breath. "A children's benefit usually swings big numbers, but I'm hoping for astronomical dollar signs after the year I've had. I want this to be my big coming out party. To show the world Kate McArthur means business, with or without a ring on her finger."
"Ferocious like a tiger." Lily growls at me and laughs. "I believe it will. This will put you on the map, Kate. Everyone looks forward to your events, but I really think this will be our best yet."
We take pictures of all the boards, update all our notes, and box the completed projects away for the night. We are so much more productive right now that it's insane. There are so many tiny ways my life is better without David.
I like that. I like knowing, no matter what happens, I'll still be able to live my life without him. For years, I was known as his wife. Never mind I started in this town. Never mind I introduced him to my friends. David scored big with the comic book universe and it was suddenly, "Kate Who?"
It used to be that my thoughts were consumed with David and what an asshole he's been to me. My mind would play over and over every stupid moment I later regretted. Starting with that stupid, drunken night I slept with him.
No more.
Now all I can think about is Eric, and the way he spun me around on roller skates. About the way he fills my body, both physically and emotionally. He consumes me.
Every moment I'm away from him, I ache. I actually want to go back into mediation, just to see him.
"Speaking of, kind of." Lily turns, bright smile on her face. She's practically vibrating, which is bizarre behaviour for her. "I met someone."
"What?" I shriek and clamp my hands over my mouth. "I mean, what? When?"
"A few weeks ago." She blushes. "I didn't want to say anything because it's been so chaotic for you and I didn't want to make it seem like I was bragging."
"Shut up. Lily! That's amazing! Tell me all about him!"
"Well, it started off very low-key and quiet. One night, you left the bar early and we sort of flirted for a while. It's been weeks of it, actually. We never exchanged numbers until last night. It's been over a month, Kate. I thought I was going to die."
"Worth it?"
"Very." A huge grin cuts through her face. "He's such a gentleman. Always bought my drinks, would never let me pay no matter how hard I tried. And girl, I tried. Slipped my credit card over early and everything. He always managed to take it. Opened the door for me, walked me to my car."