Overlooked(155)

So now we're in a catch-22, one she probably isn't even aware of.

There's no fucking doubt in my mind that we're meant to be together, but how am I ever going to overcome the problem with her family when she won't even introduce me in the first place?

Somehow all my anger and frustration flies out the window whenever Emily comes to see me every day, and I've never brought it up to her.

You'd think we'd have run out of things to talk about by now, but every day I talk to her for hours. Until our talking turns into her leaving scratch marks down my back.





Symptom of the Universe (Emily)

It's Saturday evening, and Steel and I are at the big mall in the town just past where Steel's staying. It's our one-month anniversary of finding each other, and he's taking me to a movie and then back to his motel.

For fun, I'm wearing the dress I wore to the carnival on the night we first met. And nothing else, no bra, no panties.

I hate having to lie to my parents about where I'm really staying all these evenings. It's just I can't face my father freaking out. Even if he didn't know who I was staying with, he'd accuse me of damaging his reputation because everyone in the town would know I was out sleeping around.

Living in this town is all I've ever known, some days all I can think of is getting the hell out of it. And that thought has been consuming me more and more every day.

All I want to do is live my life like the adult I am, and be with the person I want to be with. I'm tired of people still whispering behind my back about the carnival that happened months ago. How deafening would their whispers be if they knew I was with Steel right now? I can't figure out how to go public with this. Or even why I should have to deal with this shit as an issue in the first place.

"Burrito with cheesy chips," I say to the teenager behind the counter.

"The same," Steel says.

Steel takes our tray and choose a table at the far edge of the food court. I take a seat beside him instead of across from him so I can tease him with my thigh. Though I have to be careful, knowing him he'd bend me over the table and fuck me right here in the middle of the mall.

We sit as close to each other as we can get in the fixed chairs, enough that our arms are touching as we eat.

I take a sip of my Coke, clear my throat and say, "I've been thinking. I'm getting really tired of living in a small town."

"And why's that?"

"For starters, it's boring. Every day is the same, doing what's expected of me."

"Boring doesn't sound the issue in that sentence."

I sigh. "No, it's not. It's something else. I'm tired of everyone having their noses in my business. Of the way people have talked behind my back ever since the fair. And somehow my family thinks that whatever those people think is the most important thing in the world, when all I really want to do is walk down the street with your arm around me."

"The only thing stopping me from doing that is you."

"Whatever, the thing stopping me from you doing it is my family."

"No, it's you caring what they think."

"Maybe if the town isn't ever going to accept us, it's time for me to leave."

Steel smirks. "You know I'd go wherever tonight, but are you really serious about leaving? It's not only your family, it's your job."

"I know. And I'm been thinking a lot about this. We can move far enough away that I can still commute to work."

"And you'd still keep me a secret," he states, his voice flat.

"Not from my family, only the town."

"Because I'll never be good enough for your family."

"You know what? If you're not, then I don't care about them anymore. They'll be dead to me."

My heart is racing, I thought he'd like this plan. I didn't know it would offend him.

"Dead to you as parents, but still your boss."

"So maybe I will find another job. We can go wherever, do whatever we want. Be nomads, just like you want to be."

"That might be who I am but that's not who you are," he says, bringing his face near mine.

"I'd follow you just about anywhere."

Steel's blue eyes shine into mine, seeming to decide if I'm being serious or not. I wish I could figure this out. How do I take him home to meet my parents? They'll freak, even if they didn't know he was a carny. It's been a month and I still don't have any better ideas than I did on the first night.

"I hope you're serious, Goldie, because I can't take much more of this. I need my woman at my side all the time, not just when she can sneak out of her parents' house."

"Are you going to go all caveman on me, and drag me back to your cave?"

"Fucking right, I will."

We each take another bite of our burritos and chew in silence. He's right. It's not being fair on him, and I need to solve this problem as fast as I can.

To try and smooth things over, I swallow my food and throw my arms around him. I squeeze as tight as I can, letting his clean scent soothe me.

"Emily?" my mother's voice comes through the noise of the food court.

Shit. Not now. Not here.

Releasing my hold on Steel, I sit up straight. My chest flutters with nerves, and before I know it, Steel takes my hand. If I get through this, it will only be because of his touch.

In an instant, my mother is at the side of our table.

"Who's this?" she asks, trying not to look at Steel.

"Mom, this is Kayden, Kayden, my mom, Carol."

Steel stands and offers his hand for her to shake. When my mother finally does look at him, her eyes beeline straight to his neck tattoo. She is frozen but eventually lifts her arm and touches only the tips of his fingers between hers. I stand as well.

A moment later, my father appears behind her, loaded down with shopping bags. At first he looks confused, his brow furrowed as his eyes flit over me and Steel, before his face turns to stone.

"And this is my dad, Greg," I say, resigning myself to what is happening.

"Sir," Steel says, offering his hand again.

My father ignores him, instead turning to me and saying, "Who is this?"

"Kayden," I hesitate before adding, "my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Why haven't we heard about any boyfriend?" He looks at Steel and stares, his eyes boring into him.

"Why don't you join us," I say, gesturing to the table.

"I can get you some drinks," Steel says.

"That's not necessary," my dad says.

I turn to sit back at the table, and take Steel's hand. Once we're seated beside one another, I turn my head to look at my parents. They look back at me for a moment, before sitting down across from us at the table.

None of us speaks. My mother's lips are pursed and my father looks as though his head might explode.

They ignore Steel and speak to me as though he wasn't sitting at the table with us.

"What's going on, Emily?" my father says.

"Steel and I are getting something to eat before we see a movie."

"Steel?" my father says. Oops.

"It's his nickname."

My father rolls his eyes.

"Is this some kind of prank?" my mother says.

"No, Mom, this is not a prank. This is the man I'm in a serious relationship with."

"Since when?" she says.

I shrug. "A few months now. Since October."

"Dear Jesus, he's that fucking carnie, isn't he?" my father says, slapping the table with his hand.

My body flinches, I've never heard him say the F word in my life, let alone directing it at me.





We're Not Going to Take It (Steel)

Emily flinches at her father's words, and I put my arm around her to comfort her. This wasn't how I'd pictured her introducing her parents to me, but at least they finally know about me.

"We met at the carnival, yes. Now Steel lives here."

"Oh, and what does he do now?" her dad says.

"He's looking for a job."

"I've been picking up lots of day work until I figure out something permanent," I say.

Her dad's eyes shift to me and then back to Emily.

"How old is he?"

"Twenty seven," I say.

Her father ignores me, and says, "I'm not going to sit here and watch my twenty-year-old daughter throw her life away with some degenerate."

"I'm an adult, Dad."

"I don't care how old you are, no self-respecting woman goes around with his kind."

"It's not safe," her mom whispers. Does she think I can't hear her?

"Emily, why are you disrespecting yourself like this?" her dad says.

"You know he's sitting right here, right? You could talk to him, you know."

Her dad looks at me with disgust. Papa Smurf wasn't kidding about the rest of the world hating on us.

"You don't have to do this, you know. Whatever point you're trying to make has been made," her dad says.

"The only point I'm trying to make is that I want you all to get along," Emily says.

"We can't have him in our house for dinner, he'll steal something. That's probably how he got his nickname. Does he have a criminal record?"

"Give me a break, he's not a thief. Maybe if you actually talked to him, you'd find out what a great guy he is."

"Get real, Emily, he's a slimy carnie," he says.

Unfuckingbelievable.

"Listen to yourself. I can't believe how rude you're being," Emily says, leaning across the table.

I stroke down her arm and pull her elbow until she's sitting straight again. I let go of her and roughly scratch my temple before resting my hand on her arm. It's best if she stays calm.