Outside the Lines(69)

“Yeah, we can do that then go to breakfast, well, lunch.”

Ben still has a look of amusement on his face. “I’ll work on that while you take care of business.”

I press my lips together but end up laughing. “Deal.” I do take a shower too, since there is still sand in my hair that needs to be washed out. I get out, towel my hair, and get dressed while Ben hops in for a quick shower.

Since it’s raining and we need to leave soon anyway, we drive to my parents’ house and I get my dad to open the garage door so we can run in and stay dry. We eat leftovers from last night, say our goodbyes, and head home.

An hour into our drive, Ben tells me he has two events to go to this week. He doesn’t even mention bringing me with. After a weekend like we just had, I don’t know how much more it will take for him to want me to be his girlfriend and be worthy of going to fancy art shit with him.

I think about it for too long, and I use the excuse of being tired when Ben asks why I’m not talking. I force myself to put on a smile the rest of the way.

“I’m starving,” Ben says when we pull into my driveway.

“Come in and I’ll make you something,” I say. “Mac and cheese sounds good.”

“It does, actually. I haven’t had that in a while.”

I raise an eyebrow. I thought all single people lived off of a diet that consisted of at least 50% mac and cheese. He brings in my suitcase, sets it in my room, and joins me in the kitchen. I’m feeling better and not so insecure when we take our bowls into the living room.

“I don’t want to go to work tomorrow,” I say and take a bite of food. Ben just nods, his mouth too full to answer. “Even though it was just as weekend thing, I feel like I need a day to recover.”

“Me too,” he agrees once he’s swallowed. “I probably will take tomorrow off. Perks of being my own boss.”

“That is so not fair.”

“You went into the wrong profession.”

“Apparently.” I take another few bites. “I have a feeling you’re going to have an awkward reunion   with your secretary when you do go back too.”

He raises his eyebrows. “You can say that. And I’m sorry she gave you shit.”

“Why are you sorry?” I finish my mac and cheese and set the bowl down on the floor for Ser Pounce. He likes to lick the leftover cheese sauce.

“Ah, fuck. I forgot you didn’t know.”

My throat goes dry. That’s never a good thing to hear. “Didn’t know what?”

“I know you guys had a bad history in high school or whatever, but Mindy was extra bitchy because she’s jealous of you.”

There’s only one reason she’d be jealous of me, and that involves Ben. “She likes you?”

He nods. “I don’t think she ever got over—”

“Got over? Wait. You two had a … a…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“Yeah, we dated when she first started working for me.”

My heart stops beating. Ben, perfect, amazing Ben, dated Mindy fucking Abraham. I blink, then turn away.

“It wasn’t anything serious,” Ben says and it’s like his voice is echoing in my head. “We went out and hooked up a few times, that’s it.”

Now my stomach is twisting. Hooked up. He hooked up with Mindy. I can’t hide the abhorrence on my face.

“Felicity?”

“You … you and Mindy?” You and Undesirable No. 1, more like it. “Hooked up?”

“Yeah, but it’s over and it never meant anything to me.”

All I hear is how what we have might not mean anything to him as well. “I just…”

“It’s not a big deal,” he says slowly. “I’ve hooked up with other people in the past, and I’m sure you have. Actually I know you have because you’re quite good at more than a few things, and I’m thankful for that.”

“It is a big deal,” I say and I know the words are coming out of my mouth on their own accord and there is no stopping once I get started. “You put your dick in her, and then in me, so it’s basically like I had sex with her.”

“It doesn’t quite work like that,” he says. “You’re mad, but I’m not really sure why. I didn’t do anything wrong, Felicity.” He’s getting defensive.

I blink. Somewhere, deep down in the hallow pit that is now my heart, I know he’s right. But another part of me, the part that I try to ignore, the part that houses all my insecurities, tells me this makes sense.

It makes sense that Ben would date someone like Mindy. It makes sense now why he wouldn’t take me to a fancy art event when he could take someone like Mindy instead. She might be a cum-guzzling thunder cunt, but she doesn’t look like one. Well, as long as she keeps those fake tits under control and her stupid mouth shut.