Cameron nods. “Honey, I love you. You know that. I don’t want to see you to get hurt. I’m saying this out of love.”
My heart sinks into my stomach. Good thing there is a decent amount of tequila in there for it to float in. “Saying what?”
“You stay in. Play video games. Drink beer and eat pizza. You’re one of the guys.”
My eyebrows go together. “But we have sex. Frequently.”
“All men would fuck their best friend if they had a vagina.”
“You think I’m just friend material?”
“I’m not saying that’s all you can be. I’m just saying it sounds like that’s what Ben is doing. He still hasn’t taken you to his fancy art shows?”
“No, but—” I clamp my mouth shut. I’m not making excuses for Ben. If that really is the case and he’s using me for fuck-able guy time, then I feel more violated than a cucumber at an all-women’s prison. I gulp my margarita. “So, what do I do?”
“I’m not sure. Straight men confuse the hell out of me. Maybe just ask him?”
“No. If I don’t like the answer, I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss, after all.”
He pats my hand. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. Look, it’s early. You’ve been seeing each other for what, three weeks? Give it time.”
“Right.” Three weeks isn’t that long. Not at all. But shouldn’t it be enough time to decide if someone wants to be with you or not? I knew after our first date that Ben is someone I want a relationship with. I’m not talking marriage here, but something a bit more serious than just casual dating. Though, if Ben were seeing other women … when? We spent a lot of time together over the last three weeks, especially the last two weekends.
“Anyway,” Cameron says and I know he feels bad. But not as bad as I’m feeling. Fuck. Fuck life. Fuck love. Fuck it all.
I take a deep breath and pick up my drink. No need to jump to conclusions. Nothing has changed between Ben and me, and I was super-freaking-happy just hours ago. I always knew being friends with your boss was bad news.
“Got plans for the Fourth?” he asks.
“Probably going home. My parents do this huge party on the lake. It’s one of those invite your friend and their friends and anyone they’ve ever met—as long as they bring food or drinks—kind of parties They have boats and jet skis for their cabin rental business so it’s actually fun.”
“Did you invite your boy toy?”
I shake my head. “Not yet, at least. I’ll mention it to him. Maybe if I promise hunting and fishing, and, uh, other manly things, he’ll want to come.”
“Liss,” Cameron says sharply. “I’m sorry, okay? Don’t make me feel bad.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. Just trying to give myself a reality check.”
He looks at me sympathetically. “No need for that. Just keep realistic expectations. That’s what I did, what I still do. It keeps this from breaking.” He puts his hand over his heart. “It’s a harsh world out there.”
“Fuck, yes it is.” I finish my drink and feel my head spin. I’m about to order another and drown my pretty much entirely imagined woes when Ben calls. My heart flutters like it did before. “Hello?” I say, not sure what I should feel.
Why do I let people get in my head so much?
“Hey,” he says. “What are you doing?”
“Getting drunk with my boss,” I answer, eyeing Cameron. “You?”
He lets out a breath. “Just got done talking with a pain-in-the-ass client. I don’t do completely custom work, ya know? Don’t tell me what to paint then have me paint it. I don’t work like that.”
“Yeah,” I say then fall silent.
“I was going to ask you out to dinner, but I guess if you’re already out I won’t. I miss you.”
And just like that my heart melts.
“Want to join us?” I ask without giving Cam the chance to object.
“Your boss won’t mind? And you don’t mind? I don’t want to bother you.”
“Not at all. I’d love for you to join us. I’m kinda drunk, and could use a DD.”
“Are you drunk and frisky?”
I laugh. “Always.” I tell him where we are and hang up. “You don’t mind, do you?” I ask Cameron.
“Actually, I’m really curious to meet this guy. So no, not at all.”
“Good.”
*
“You should call in sick tomorrow,” Ben says, hands going under my shirt. He pushes me back on my bed. We got back from the restaurant a while ago, and I successfully convinced Ben to watch the first episode of Game of Thrones with me. Now he’s hooked.