“Peaking in high school is sad,” Ben agrees, looking into my eyes.
I smile and nod. I don’t want to tell him that I’m still insecure about it, that Mindy brought me to tears and bullied me to the point of faking sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school and face her. I shouldn’t be ashamed of that.
Shouldn’t.
But I’m still scared he’ll think less of me, that hearing it out loud will somehow slap sense into him and he’ll see me as the nerdy looser Mindy and everyone else saw in high school. I’m so logical it kills me, I know.
“Well,” Ben says. “She’s still jealous of you if she’s talking shit.”
Still jealous implies that she was once jealous of me, and that’s not the case. I just nod again. I came into this conversation with a dozen fucks. I wanted to leave with all twelve of them. I want to get to the point where I don’t give a single fuck about Mindy. She’s not worth it.
“Have you been to the Gardens and Sculpture Park yet?” Ben asks.
I shake my head since my mouth is full. Once I swallow I say, “No, but I keep hearing about it. I want to go.”
“How about this weekend?”
“Yeah, I’d love to.”
“And tonight,” he says carefully, and for half a second I think he’s apprehensive about asking me out again, like I might for some crazy reason turn him down. “Dinner and a movie?”
“Oh yes, that’s perfect. A movie I want to see just came out.”
“Great,” he says with a smile.
*
“It’s so big!” I exclaim.
“That’s what she said,” Ben says with a grin.
I laugh and roll my eyes. He swings my hand as we walk down a path that leads through a peaceful section of tall grass, wild flowers, and statues and sculptures in the park. “Really,” I say. “I can’t believe I’ve held out on coming here. It’s beautiful.”
“I’m glad you think so,” he tells me and slows when we cross a wooden bridge. People mill about, enjoying the nature and the artwork spread throughout, soaking up the warm June day. We stop walking and Ben wraps his arms around me. I’m not wearing heels this time, just my Hufflepuff Toms, and Ben is several inches taller than me. I go up on my toes and kiss him. “Want to finish the tour or do you want to go back to my place for dinner now?” He raises his eyebrows and I know he’s thinking about dessert.
And by dessert, I mean sticking his P in my V.
That’s a pretty good dessert.
“It’s up to you,” I say. “I like it here. It’s very calming. And pretty. I like calm and pretty.”
He slides his hands along my side and takes both my hands. “We can keep going. I come here from time to time when I want to think. And this place is really inspirational. Then again, so are you.”
We cross the bridge and walk in silence, taking in the sights for a few moments. I’m completely comfortable with Ben, which is kind of weird when I think about it too much. Not counting meeting for lunch during the week, this is our third date. We spoke on the phone Thursday night for several hours, and he called me Friday before the art event thing-a-ma-bob that he had to go to just to say hi and see how my day was going.
I’m starting to like him a lot.
We both slept in this morning. The event Ben went to was a few hours away, and by the way he spoke, he didn’t get in until late. I stayed up doing important things like arguing on an online forum about the sexism in Cosplay. And playing League of Legends. That’s important too, of course.
I called Ben when I got up, like he wanted me to, and we made plans to visit the gardens then go back to his house. He’s cooking me dinner. I assume I’ll be spending the night, like he had with me, but, again, I’m not sure the protocol on this kind of thing. Since he picked me up from my house, the ball is in his court. To an extent. Maybe? Hell if I know.
Instead of looking presumptuous and backing a separate bag, I used my biggest purse and loaded it with a few overnight things, like face wash, my toothbrush, and my travel makeup bag. I folded a new dress and a fresh pair of undies for tomorrow and put it inside, and for tonight, I’m wearing a matching bra and panty set. I like to be prepared.
Speaking of preparedness, I debated on bringing condoms. I didn’t, assuming since Ben puts them on his dick, he probably has more. I’m currently not on any sort of birth control. I stopped taking it six months into my dry spell because I was too lazy to take it every morning, and really, what’s the point when I’m not getting any? I have no problem getting back on it, but I don’t want to jump the gun and assume what Ben and I have will turn into anything … uh, lasting?