“Daddy, please...he's trying to help. We both are.”
He gave me a sharp look as I wrapped my arms around him. At first, he moved like he wanted to brush me off, but then he relaxed when he saw his missing hand.
He still hadn't internalized it. They'd only ripped it off him a week ago, but it might as well have been an entire lifetime, suffering with his new disability.
Undaunted, Asphalt grabbed the glass, walked out to join us on a bar stool, and set it down in front of my father on the counter.
“You're alive and breathing, Gil. You've got a future. That's more than this club can say for a lot of guys.” He paused, narrowing his eyes, taking a pull off his own beer. “I can't imagine the shit you're going through. Everything those fuckers stole, the things they did...they fucked all hard. But Elle and I are moving on. We're forgetting the past, only focusing on what's ahead. You can do the same. No matter what the fuck happened, you've got a daughter who wants you in her life, even after the shit you pulled. Tell me that counts for something.”
I held my breath. Daddy would either accept his little pep talk, or he'd smash his good hand across my lover's handsome face.
“You're an absolute bastard,” he snarled at Asphalt, finally lifting his drink to his lips and pouring it all back in one gulp. The glass clinked on the counter when he'd finished. “Too bad my little girl loves you. I don't give a shit what the Dragons did to me. I had it coming for my fuckin' sins, my mistakes. It's what they did to Elle, right in front of me, that's gonna hound me 'til the end of my fucked up life.”
“It doesn't need to,” Asphalt said. “Zee's dead. I killed the motherfucker with my own bare hands, less than an hour ago. They're dragging his carcass away right now. I'm gonna let what he did die with him. It's the only shit that makes sense, the only thing that'll keep us sane, and happy.”
He left out the part about my participation in the murder. Daddy couldn't know I'd been corrupted in blood, too.
“Ass-fuck, I don't need your advice.”
Ouch. I cringed when I heard the cruel name he'd used before, the one I'd been hearing for years on the rare occasions when he even mentioned his name in our house.
“I need you to keep her company. Keep protecting her, loving her like I can't.” Daddy looked up, and the two men locked eyes. “You saved my girl several times. I know you love her, too. That's good enough for me.”
His words took me by total surprise. Suddenly, I couldn't hold in my smile. The tears I'd been holding inside spilled down my cheeks as I threw my arms around him, thanking him with kisses on both cheeks.
His face was so rough beneath my lips. He'd have lingering reminders of the sad hell we'd experienced all over his body for years to come. But the jagged cuts were healing, little by little. They'd get a little better each day, just like the hole in my heart.
“Okay, okay.” Daddy pushed me away softly, a familiar kindness shining in his eyes. “We're never gonna be one big, happy family. But, you know, I can live with the two of you being hitched for real. If you ever come up to Tacoma once you start popping out babies, you'll always have a place to stay.”
Asphalt smiled. We both knew my father had just given him the closet thing he'd ever get to a stamp of approval.
“Deal, Gil. And you're welcome here in Redding anytime.” He held out his hand.
Daddy took Asphalt's hand and they shook for all of two seconds, a peace for the history books. Or at least the biggest truce I'd ever seen in my screwed up world.
“You gotta be fuckin' kidding. Once I'm in the truck home, riding with Line and the boys, there's no goddamned way I'm ever coming back to this god forsaken clubhouse. I'm no Prez anymore – I don't deserve it. Shit, I'm no good for ridin', shootin', and fuck knows what else with a damned stump.”
“You're still good for admitting your mistakes, knowing right from wrong,” I whispered, putting another arm over his shoulder. I twisted, pushing his stool until it spun him around, ready for a proper hug. “You'll always be my dad. I don't care what happens with the club.”
This time, daddy didn't resist. He held me tight as he could with both arms, and I held him. Before he let go, I leaned close, and whispered.
“That arm's still good for giving the warmest hugs I've known since I was just a kid. Mom always said the same thing, and she was right. God damn it, daddy, you're going to be okay. You're going to be happy. Everybody sitting next to each other at this bar is going to live the rest of their lives with smiles on their faces. That's how we beat the Dragons for real.”
When he finally turned to the bar for another drink, he had tears in his eyes, with a smile behind them in the darkness.