Outlaw's Vow: Grizzlies MC Romance(181)

Live the life I couldn't, son. Live like a good man 'til the day you die. Don't forsake your family.





XIII: Under the Gun (Sally)


I'd never had so many emotions flickering through me at once, tearing me to pieces like twisted currents.

Hatred. Bitterness. Sadness. Love.

Each time Roman's face flashed in my mind, I didn't know whether I wanted to kiss him or rake him across the cheek with my nails. Mostly, I just wanted him to come home so I could make up my mind, preferably before my intestines tangled up in a permanent knot.

It was so fucking dark out. Almost midnight.

There hadn't been a word all evening, not since we got home from the hospital, and Rabid took off with his guys, leaving a two man skeleton crew of prospects watching over us.

Caleb stirred in my arms. He kept crying no matter how often I tried to feed him, fusing every time I rocked him or smoothed his brow the way he liked. The kid could sense the tension on some scary primal level.

“Damn it!” Missy whispered for the third time in an hour, tearing the phone away from her ear. “Still no answer. I tried all of them. I really don't understand this. Somebody should pick up. Even Rabid isn't talking.”

Christa's shoulders slouched. I watched her bring a hand up to the scars on her cheeks, touching them and then snatching her fingers away, like they burned her hand.

“Something's wrong. They've never kept the line dead this long, and never all of them at once. We can't just sit here all night.”

“What's your plan? Lower a rope made out of our skirts and jeans down the window? Rabid said we're not going anywhere. I'm scared too, but there's no way we'll get past the prospects down there. You sweet talked your old man, but those boys only care about following orders, whatever it takes to earn their bottom rockers.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You think they're not sweating rivers down there too? Hope you've got a mop, Sally. Their orders only go so far. They'll be just as confused as us the longer they wait with no word from the rest of the brothers.”

“We have to try something!” Missy exploded, stood up, and reached for the door before I could say another word.

Maybe she was right. My heart throbbed pure adrenaline, a cold, harsh fuel for the pessimism grinding my heart to ashes.

I wanted to believe he was okay. He had to come home. But this world had no guarantees, and the damning silence gave a good idea about what happened without the specifics.

I looked at Caleb and clutched him tight, carrying him out as the other two old ladies ambled down the stairs. My mind had already gone to that dark pit, wondering how I'd afford this place if Roman was really gone.

Jesus, and it wouldn't get any easier as the years went on. I couldn't lie to my son, not when he'd barely met his father.

One day, I'd have to look him in the eyes, and tell him his dad did – what? Defended his family? Or went down the same as his grandfather, pulled into a world of savage violence he never should've embraced?

I'd say anything to stop it from becoming a family tradition. Caleb would never end up like Dagger and...Roman?

My heart turned to cold, dead rock just considering the possibility he was gone.

I shook my head, following the girls downstairs. Missy and Christa did most of the talking. The two prospects eyed us glumly, sharing nervous looks.

“Can't do that, ladies,” a prospect named Thorn said. “The brothers'll have our asses if anything happens to you. Shit, we don't even know what's going on at the clubhouse. It could be compromised too.”

“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes and stepped forward. “The whores still sleep there. They'd be the first to come screaming if anything happened.”

“Yeah, assuming they could. You know these invasions can happen so fucking fast it'll make your head spin, right?” Thorn gave me a sharp look, his goatee twitching.

I cocked my head. “You sound like you're talking with experience. Jeez, at the rate the club's bringing in new blood, you've been wearing that prospect patch for like a month, maybe two? Hard to believe you're a battle-hardened biker badass in just a few weeks.”

His face tightened. Christa and Missy laughed. Brass' old lady pushed through us and got in his face.

“Come the fuck on. We'll drive carefully, take my car the whole way there. We'll pull over a couple miles away. You boys can go on and make sure the coast is clear. I'm sure the Prez and VP will appreciate somebody looking over home base.”

“She's right. What? You're not scared, are you, boys? I hear the ones who show some initiative get their bottom rockers a whole lot faster.” Christa smiled, and we all suppressed a laugh, watching them eyeball each other like nervous owls.

“Whatever, you bitches are crazy, you know that?” Thorn growled at last. “We'll ride in front and rear 'til the very end, and then we'll go on ahead to scope it out. Soon as we're in, you're getting guns and going in the back. I'm not letting anybody out in the bar 'til I hear something from higher up.”