Holy shit. Hot tears ravaged my eyes just thinking about it. And he wasn't even done yet.
“They shredded his cut. That's the torn up leather you see framed behind the clubhouse's bar, the same one next to all the pictures of the old guys who weren't complete bastards when they were in their prime. The Scorps' Veep pulled out his hunting knife and flayed a strip of skin off dad's back too while he was dying – up and stole the bear he had on his skin. His blood ran all over the fucking place, swirled around the boots of every brother standing there. That's what Blackjack told me when I was old enough to handle it.”
“Sick! Roman, I'm sorry. I get it. Please. I don't need to hear anymore.” Caleb squirmed, and I loosened my grip, sorry for practically squeezing him to death while I imagined the nightmarish scene.
“We got back at 'em, of course. A little before my time prospecting, unfortunately. I'd have loved to crack the skull of the motherfucker who skinned him myself. Blackjack took care of that before I could, and the Scorps are just ancient history now.”
“Why? Why are you telling me all this?” I stared at his cold, dead face, trying to understand.
“My way of telling you I'm ready to rip my chest open and hand you my fucking heart, babe.” He stepped forward, laying a cool, thick hand on my cheek. “I also know how bad my dad fucked up. He snapped and got himself killed because he didn't respect his family enough to keep a lid on his shit, sort it out some other way. I know you got your doubts about me.”
I bit my lip, shaking off the last of the tears, unable to resist the urge to press my face into his palm. “I can change my mind, you know. Things were pretty fucked up. I was ready to walk away, ready to leave you behind for good –“
“And that's the point, babe. If it wasn't for the cartel, I got a bad feeling I would've missed a whole lot more of my son's life because you couldn't trust me.” His hand circled to my back, wrapping around my waist, pulling me and the baby to his chest. “I wanna fucking explode when I think about it. The only reason I don't is because there's no goddamned way I'll ever, ever let it happen again.”
“Roman...people make mistakes.”
Yeah, they did. My head kept spinning, ready to fly off and take the rest of me with it. I couldn't even comprehend right or wrong in this situation. Not anymore. We'd both screwed up bad, but he was trying to make amends.
Shouldn't I let him?
Shock and awe didn't begin to describe my reaction. I tucked Caleb carefully between us and craned my head, ready for a kiss.
He pulled away right before my lips touched his, brushing his stubble on my cheek. “Hold the fuck up. You have no idea how bad I want those lips on mine,” he growled.
“But I'm not gonna do it 'til it's fucking real. I meant what I said this morning – I wanna hear you beg, babe. I took you on a rollercoaster to show you the real me. Let it sink in. You can't change your mind in less than a day. You pushed me away this morning, and I'm not gonna fuck you over again by taking something that's only gonna screw this up for the long haul.”
“Come on. It's one kiss. I'm not saying I'm ready to fuck you, or anything.”
Shit. Was I serious? I couldn't stop feeling his hard cock against my thigh, tense and wanting, making my body shake with need.
Real, genuine, dyed in lipstick and honey need. How the hell had we flip-flopped since morning? Suddenly, he was the cautious, conservative one, and it drove me fucking crazy.
“Yeah, you are,” he growled, reaching to fist my hair and pulling my lips to his.
We kissed long, hard, and hot. It was almost cathartic, some kinda exorcism written in love, able to banish a little of the evil hanging over this old, abandoned lot.
I moaned into his mouth, truly tasting him. My tongue whirled against his, led in a steaming, inescapable dance, plucking every nerve in my body to perfection.
Damn! Don't make me beg. He can't be serious about that.
His tongue moved against mine so hard my nipples throbbed. Hot blood rushed through my ears, drowning out everything, making me hear the thumping need in my own heartbeat.
I. Want. To. Fuck.
No, we couldn't, though. It wasn't that easy, and it surely couldn't happen here. I had to stop it there before we went further, especially with the sweet baby still in my arms. I pulled back, struggling to stabilize my knees, following him to the truck. I helped Caleb into his kiddie seat, then climbed in.
“Tasting you makes my dick jerk like a kid who's about to have his first fuck. You know that?” He looked at me in the passenger seat. My cheeks heated. “Still, you keep a lid on that shit 'til you're ready. You give me that tongue again, you'd better expect to get naked, girl.”