Outlaw's Promise(56)

I wanted to say something but I couldn’t find the words. I could feel stuff stirring in my chest, shit I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager, and I couldn’t explain it. Not just wanting her. Not even just wanting to protect her. More than that. “I’ll never leave you again,” I said at last.

She swallowed, tears welling up in her eyes. “Promise me that,” she said.

I nodded. “I promise.” And then my hands were on those soft cheeks, my thumbs rubbing away her tears, and I was grabbing her and kissing her hard, kissing the pain away. My hands slid up her cheeks and I buried my fingers in her soft copper locks, unable to help myself. Every brush of that silky hair against the backs of my fingers was reassurance that she was here, now, and not back in those years of hell with her step-dad. And meanwhile her hands were under my cut, running over the muscles of my shoulders and back, clinging to me as if I was her link to the present. I don’t know if I was imagining it or if her step-dad had dragged himself up off the bathroom tiles and made it to a window, but I felt like he was watching us. She’s mine now, I thought viciously. She’s mine and you’re never getting her back.
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When we finally broke, her tears had dried but she still clung tight to my hand as we stumbled across the uneven ground to get back to the road. It would have been quicker to cut through the house but neither of us wanted to venture inside again. Hunter was waiting for us by the bikes. He’d already strapped Annabelle’s bags to them and was in the saddle, ready to go. I nodded to him to go on ahead. “We’ll catch you up,” I said.

He nodded and roared off, but not before giving me another of those reproachful looks. Shit. He was pissed I’d come out here solo, acting on my own again instead of involving the club. He’d tell Mac and he’d be pissed, too. I’d have to deal with that tomorrow.

I climbed onto my bike and Annabelle climbed on behind me. But when I sat there without starting the engine, she touched my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out. “Your step-dad didn’t know anything. He never saw Volos’s face. He never heard his real name. He overheard one of the fucker’s bodyguards say something about standing stock.”—I shrugged and shook my head in disgust—”must mean the other women they’ve bought, the ones they haven’t sold on yet. But that’s it. Nothing we can use to find him.” I gazed back towards the house. “I should have killed him.”

Her cool hands grabbed my cheeks, her skin soft against my stubble, and turned me to look at her. “No you shouldn’t,” she told me. “That would make you like him. Like Volos.”

I lowered my head. “I already am like him.”

She put her hand under my chin and made me look at her. “No you’re not.”

I stared into her eyes. She knew I’d done things for the club. She knew I’d killed. But she didn’t know the worst of it.

She didn’t know about the innocent life I’d taken.

“What?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“You read my diary,” she said defiantly. “I should know this. Whatever it is.”

I looked back at the house. “Reading your diary showed me the worst of him. Not of you.”

She put her hands on my chest. “I want to know all of you. Even the worst parts.”

But I shook my head. The memories were a sac of poison inside me, the toxins slowly dripping out and soaking through my soul. I’d gotten used to that bitter, dark taste but I didn’t want it touching her. I didn’t want it touching what we had. I turned to face front and finally started the bike. As it roared into life, her arms slipped around my waist. But there was a tension between us, now.

I gunned the throttle and we left her old house behind forever. Her past was laid to rest but I couldn’t get away from mine.

I wanted to be with her, body and soul. I wanted it so bad. And she was right: if you’re going to really be with someone, you have to know them completely.

But I couldn’t tell her about I’d done...once I started, it would all come out. Briggs. Chicago.

My family.

I couldn’t take telling her that.

But if I didn’t tell her, I might lose her forever.





33





Annabelle





“Okay,” I muttered. “There’s something you don’t see every day.”

I was looking up at a huge white banner that stretched between two trees. Sixth Annual Hill Descent Challenge, it read. And right in the center was a cartoon of an ox riding a Harley.