Outlaw Hearts(41)

As they prayed together on the docks, Miranda thought how all the Jennings family looked alike: tall, lanky men, the older ones with nearly bald heads, the younger ones with hair so thin it was obvious they, too, would lose their hair at a younger age than most men. What hair they all did have was blond, and all but John Jennings had blue eyes.

The brother-in-law, James, and the friend Adam Hummer were the only ones who looked different from the rest. James was a short, stocky man with thick, graying hair and bags under his eyes even when he was rested; Hummer was tall but much more rotund than the Jenningses, with dark, wavy hair. They all dressed in plain black suits with plain black hats and knee-length black boots, and the reverend nearly always carried a Bible.

Miranda was not completely comfortable with these people, but they seemed to her to be the best of the few choices she had. At least they seemed trustworthy, people of moral character and a Christian background. She decided she would simply avoid Clarence as much as possible.

The reverend finished his prayer, and Miranda struggled against a feeling of sudden panic and regret. She reasoned she could still change her mind, but a stubbornness had set in now, a determination that would not let her give up. She reminded herself that there was nothing left for her here but sad memories. She had taken all her personal possessions, sold most of her furniture. All she had with her now was her trunk, with its quilts and towels, a few dishes, and her clothes. Her father’s Winchester was in the trunk, her trusty little derringer in her handbag. She had not forgotten Jake’s warning that she keep both guns handy. Once they left Omaha by wagon, she would carry the Winchester in the wagon where it would be easy to get hold of.

Jake. It seemed her thoughts always came back to him, and she knew now that she had been hopelessly, foolishly falling in love with the man, and she had a feeling he knew it. That was why he had left before he was really ready to travel. She prayed he was all right, felt guilty for being partly responsible for his leaving too soon.

She boarded the riverboat with the Jennings clan, her thoughts on an outlaw. She actually smiled at imagining the reaction of this family if she told them what she had done the last few days before leaving Kansas City. She could not help thinking how she might actually have enjoyed this trip if she could have gone with Jake. She felt desperately alone, in spite of the company and kindness of the Jennings family. Their friendship was not the same as what she had felt with Jake, in spite of his attempts at making her think he was not worth her time.

The steamboat gave off two long whistles from its stack as it drifted away from the dock and the huge paddle wheels at either side began churning through the water. Again Miranda felt the tears wanting to come as the sight of Independence gradually disappeared when the steamboat made its way around a bend.

“Got an exciting trip ahead of us, don’t we?”

Miranda felt a hand against her back in a too-familiar gesture. She turned to see Clarence Jennings standing beside her, his blue eyes sparkling with eager youth. His gaze dropped to her breasts for a moment, and he rubbed her back lightly. “Don’t you be worried, Mrs. Hayes. My uncles and I will look after you.”

Miranda moved away, feeling a chill at his touch. “You look after yourself and your father, Clarence. I can take care of myself.”

The young man shrugged, looking her over again. “Must be hard, being a widow, alone and all. I just wanted you to know we care.” He grinned at her. “Anything you need, you just let me know.”

Miranda did not miss the suggestive tone of his remark. “If there is anything I need, I will talk to your aunt or your uncle,” she answered. “Right now I would like to be alone.”

His smile faded, and Miranda was surprised at the hostile look that came into his eyes. He nodded to her. “Whatever you want, ma’am. Once we head out by wagon across Nebraska, you won’t get much chance to be alone then, will you? We’ll all be herded together like the Lord’s sheep.”

He gave her a wink and left, and Miranda shivered. She pulled her shawl closer, and the sickening feeling that she had made the wrong choice after all returned to plague her; but her determination to find her brother was stronger. She set her lips tight, gritting her teeth and telling herself she could do this. If Clarence Jennings tried to give her any trouble, she would quickly put him in his place. The steamer gave off another lonely sounding whistle, and she turned to go and find Opal Jennings. Thank goodness there was another woman along.

She turned away from the sight of things left behind. She must not think about Mack or her father, or the lonely little cabin at the farm, the grave behind it. And she must not think about Jake Harkner. All those things were in her past now. She had to be strong, think about the future, finding Wes. She had told everyone she could do this, that she could take care of herself. Now she had to prove she was right.