Outlaw Hearts(195)
“Jake, if you did anything wrong, it was to love him too much, shelter him too much from reality. You taught him the right way to go in life. If he’s chosen another way, it’s his doing. He’s being a foolish, stubborn young man who is going to come around someday to face the truth, and the truth is he can’t deny how much you loved him or how much he loved you. This won’t last. He’s too good a man deep inside.”
Jake tried to breathe deeply against unwanted tears, but his lungs would not allow it. The result was another coughing spell that led to deep, jerking sobs. Randy tried to comfort him, but he wouldn’t let her touch him, embarrassed to be so weak and sick and in such an emotional state. He took a handkerchief Brian handed him and managed to control his despair, wiping at his eyes with a shaking hand.
Brian watched in dismay. The things he had heard from others about this man’s past did not fit the man he saw now, a devoted father weeping over his son’s wayward life. In spite of his condition, Jake Harkner still emanated an aura of power and danger. Somewhere behind those tired, dark eyes he could detect the man who could be ruthless, who could kill, the battered boy turned murderous outlaw. Miranda Harkner had tamed that part of him, and his children had taught him the true meaning of love, so much so that the man was shattered by the loss of his son’s affections.
“It’s the whiskey,” Jake said, once he was able to speak again. “He just needs to get off the whiskey. It’s just like my pa. He could never control his drinking. That’s why I never drank a whole lot and never wanted Lloyd even to try it. He’s got it in him, Randy. He’s got that damned weakness for whiskey my father had, and it’s making him do crazy things.”
“There is one difference, Jake,” Miranda answered firmly. “Lloyd is not your father! He doesn’t have that meanness in him. He’s softhearted and a good person deep inside; and the one biggest difference is how he was raised. Look what a good person Evie is. Lloyd is the same. He just needs to learn a few things the hard way, but he will learn, and he’ll remember. He’ll come home. If I have to go into outlaw country myself and fetch him, he’ll come home!”
“Don’t you dare!” Jake sat up a little straighter, and Brian saw the flash of meanness. “Don’t you dare go into that country alone, you hear me? I wasn’t even going to tell you about Lloyd because I was afraid you’d do exactly what you’re talking about doing! Those places are filled with bastards as ruthless and worthless as the men I used to run with. It’s no place for someone like you!”
“Then I’ll find someone who can take me.”
“Who? Who besides Jess could you trust? With Jess gone there’s nobody! There’s only me! I’m the only one who can do it! I just have to get well and find a way to get the hell out of here!”
Miranda glanced at the doorway. A guard stood just outside. Jake was the only one left in the medical ward today, so there was no one to hear. “Please don’t talk that way, Jake. If you try to escape, I’ll never see you again! They’ll either catch you and shoot you down, or put you back in here for the rest of your life! If that doesn’t happen, you’ll have to run forever. Either way, you’ll be gone from my life.” Her eyes teared with terror. “Please don’t try it, Jake.”
“What the hell else am I going to do? Lloyd’s the only one who matters here. It’s for our son!”
“Jake, I could go with Randy, or help her find someone trustworthy,” Brian put in.
Jake glanced at him, leaning back against the pillows with a scowl. “Don’t get me wrong, Brian. I’m sure you’re a brave man who can hold his own, but you don’t know the kind of men you’d be up against. The only way to know who to trust among such men is someone who was once just like them, someone who can read them inside and out. They’re ruthless. Most of them don’t give a damn about another human life. They’d just as soon shoot you in the back for the rings on your fingers as to look at you. I sure as hell ought to know.”
“Father, we’ll find a way to help Lloyd,” Evie put in. “We’ll do whatever it takes.”
The door to the ward opened then, and all four looked up to see Warden Pruett coming toward them, a piece of paper in his hand. The man had a look of chagrin on his face, and he scowled at Miranda as he came to stand at the foot of the bed. “Well,” he said with a hint of sarcasm, “I don’t know what you’ve been telling that judge back in St. Louis, but something is up.”