Outlaw Hearts(184)
She opened the basket and took out a plate, then opened the lid of a pan inside the basket and took out two pieces of fried chicken. “Eat this,” she said, turning and handing him the plate. “I have pie too—apple, your favorite. And my homemade bread that you love so much.”
He took the plate of chicken and stared at it a moment, wishing he had an appetite. “Have you heard from him?”
Her smile faded. “No,” she answered softly. “I’ve tried everything, Jake. It’s like he vanished off the face of the earth.”
He set the plate aside, putting his head in his hands. “He could be dead. Maybe he got himself into trouble, got himself shot someplace where nobody knew who he was. Maybe he died all alone.”
She put a hand on his shoulder. “Stop torturing yourself, Jake. I am not going to lose faith that Lloyd will come back to us someday soon. He’s alive and well. I know it in my heart.”
She felt him shiver. “I can’t stand it, Randy, not knowing. He’s been haunting my dreams lately. What have I done to my son?”
She rubbed his back, resting her head on his shoulder. “Jake, the Bible says that if you raise your son right in his early years, even if he strays from you, he will always come back. He will remember the good things he was taught, the love he knew, and that will sustain him when he becomes a man. It will guide him through the bad times, and he will eventually follow the teachings of his youth.” She kissed his cheek. “You taught him well, Jake. You loved him as much as is possible for a father to love his son. He’s going to remember that. He’s going to realize that no matter what your past was, and no matter what is happening now, he had the best father a boy could have.” She began stroking his hair. “I’ll keep trying to find him, Jake; but you have to help me through this by giving me a little less to worry about. You can do that by having more faith in the love you and Lloyd shared, more faith in the goodness deep in Lloyd’s heart; and by taking better care of yourself. Please eat something. It frightens me to see you this way.”
He threw his head back and breathed deeply, wiping at tears on his cheeks. “How is Evie?”
“She’s fine, and in love. I expect Brian Stewart to ask for her hand in marriage any time.”
He picked up the plate of chicken and set it on one knee, but still he did not eat any. “You sure he can be trusted to be good to her? You sure he respects her, being the daughter of an outlaw and all?”
Miranda could not help a smile. “Jake, young women like Evie command respect no matter what their situation. A man can’t help but see the goodness in her. She’s sweet and intelligent, loving and beautiful.” She reached into the basket to take out a loaf of bread. “She prays for you every day, Jake. You have to try to get through this, because Lloyd is going to come home, and both of them will want to see you free again. We can and will be a family again, Jake. All you have to do is hang on and take as good care of yourself as possible in this place.”
He set the plate aside again, the chicken still untouched, and turned to face her. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, and they showed a look of near shock and disbelief when he met her own eyes. “You really believe that, don’t you?”
She set the bread in her lap. “Of course I believe it. I’ve told you so every month since they sent you here. What do you think keeps me going?”
He shook his head as though he was looking at something startling and wonderful. “I don’t know. I honest-to-God don’t know how you do it, or why.”
She touched his hand. “Wouldn’t you do the same if the tables were turned? When will you ever understand how much I love you, or that anyone could love you enough never to leave you no matter how bad things get?”
“But I know you’re out there alone, working to support you and Evie, crying at night alone over Lloyd, no one to hold you, comfort you…” He turned away. “What about Jess? Is he still watching after you?”
How could she tell him Jess had not been well? It would only make him worry more. “He’s still working at the stockyards. He visits once or twice a week to see how Evie and I are doing, and he asks every new stranger in town if they’ve ever heard of or seen Lloyd. He’s a wonderful comfort and support.”
He looked at her again, taking her hand. “You know how I feel about him, Randy. Sometimes a woman just needs the strength she can get from a man holding her in the night. I’d understand, if…” He took his hand away. “Hell, I’m not getting out of this place alive, so don’t waste yourself. You’re still beautiful and—”