"Okay." My chest aches like someone's just snatched a part of it away. There's this empty, lost feeling. And sorrow, maybe? I don't know, but whatever it is, it's because of what I said to him. And the fact that I think I hurt him. It wasn't intentional. How am I going to show him that, though?
Turning the volume down on my phone, I disconnect it from the Bluetooth as I turn into the parking garage. My eyes scan every car, trying to see if I can pick one out that doesn't belong as I drive to my spot. "It'd be really stupid for someone trying to get me to park in here. I'd recognize their car."
I'm not sure if he responds because I can't hear anything from his end. I kind of like being able to talk to him like this, though.
"It's a damn shame you can't talk back to me. I forgot to ask you what you'd like me to wear tomorrow for our meeting." A devious smile curves on my lips. "A dress? With nothing under it? Maybe a pair of heels just for you."
Zaps shock through my body all the way to my core, which clenches. Maybe this was stupid of me because it's torturing me just as much as it probably is him. Or perhaps he couldn't care less because he's still pissed at me.
"Theo, will you wear your glasses tomorrow for me? They're sexy as fuck. I think you said that to me once."
Pulling into my parking place, I cut my phone off. "I have to quit talking to you now. But one more question. What exactly are you going to do if I find myself in a compromised position? Where are you anyway?"
Grabbing my purse, I toss my phone inside it, open the door, and get out. Pressing the lock button, my horn beeps a couple of times. My finger slides down to the panic button where I keep it until I've made it into the elevator. I press the up button.
Glancing around, I hear Theo's instructions in my mind to watch my front, back, and sides. One side is a wall, so I should be safe there. It's really hard to have my eyes in four different directions. Every sound is heightened, and I find myself jumping at the stupidest stuff.
A man walks up. He's dressed in a suit, but he doesn't have his jacket on. His sleeves are rolled halfway up his arms. I have a thing for that. I'll have to remember to tell Theo to roll his sleeves up tomorrow. This guy's blue eyes and dark hair along with a day's worth of scruff definitely put him high on the sexy meter. He looks safe, but would someone who was trying to hurt me look like a criminal? I mean, part of what made Theo so dangerous was that I couldn't think straight around him.
He's different from Theo, though, because he's not making me feel any of those things I did in the elevator.
I figure I should let Theo know I'm okay. "Hi," I say.
He smiles. His straight, white teeth are dazzling. "Hey there," he responds, his voice rich and deep.
"So awkward waiting for an elevator with a stranger, isn't it? Do you stand here and pretend you didn't notice them, or do you just strike up a random conversation with a stranger?"
He chuckles and shakes his head.
I smile, but the fact he didn't answer me causes a pit to grow in my stomach. I rub my panic button, thankful Theo is still on the line with me. The thought of being trapped in an elevator with this guy has my breathing increasing, but I try to slow it down so it's not obvious.
The doors open. We nearly walk into each other as we both try to enter at the same time. What kind of asshole doesn't let the girl go in first? "Sorry." I laugh. But it's not funny. It's a nervous one. But this guy doesn't know my laughs, right? I push past him so I can get in first, hoping to control the floors. He pauses and allows me entry. "What floor are you goin' to?" I ask. He narrows his eyes. Oh. Shit. This doesn't feel right. Something awful is wrong. His smile dissipates. He closes the distance between us. Think quick, Jules. My finger jabs a random floor. Any one of them other than my own. "What floor should I press for you?"
The car jerks into motion, and he pulls the stop button as he presses his hips into me, his lips covering mine. No. This is not what I wanted. "No. Stop."
But he doesn't. He grabs my hands and pushes them above my head. I drop my purse and my keys. My panic button does me no good in here anyway. "Let go of me. Please," I cry, a tear trickling down my face. "What do you want? Just tell me."
His gaze hardens. "You."
She should have just gone to her fucking parents' house, but if I haven't learned anything about her tonight, it's that she's stubborn. Ridiculously so.
She says, "I'm exhausted, Theo. Aren't you? I just want to go home, climb into my bed, and go to sleep where hopefully I can forget about all this shit."
My grip on the steering wheel tightens. I have to pause a second to count to five before I can answer her. Yeah, it feels like this night is never going to fucking end, but it's been one of the best I've ever had. If we could just erase fuck face from the picture, it'd be even better. "This shit, huh?" My eyes narrow as I think about calling what we did together shit. It was perfection. Shit's not the word I'd describe any of it. And it shouldn't be lumped in the same sentence with anything to do with her partner. Maybe she doesn't want my help. Maybe she really is kind of irritated at me for not sticking to our plan. And that's fine because the feeling is fucking mutual now. I still want her safe, though. Maybe we're just both tired and rest will do us good. Or a good fuck. But that's out of the question tonight. "Do what you did with the phone when you went through the office building if you're going to do this your way instead of mine. Go ahead and turn the volume down. I don't have anything else to say."
"That's not what I meant. I meant the shit with Charlie."
"Okay. Do what I said, though." I want to tell her everything I was just thinking, but there's no point. Not right now, at least. My mind drifts to a really screwed up place. What if she's playing me? What if everything she told me tonight was a lie to get me to show my hand, and I really interrupted something she wanted. What if that's why she wanted me to go, why she was snappy when she unmuted me? What if she's just trying to recover from sticking her foot in her mouth? What the fuck is up with the doubt? She was going to give me her fucking engagement ring.
But then again, if she was in on it with Charlie, he'd understand when she explained why she did it. This is crazy. This is what jealousy will do to you. This is what happens when you aren't monogamous. This is a direct result of compromising my values, myself. I shake my head. I can't believe I'm involved in what she calls 'this shit'. But if I were given the chance to make different choices, I know for a fucking fact, I wouldn't. That's what makes it even worse.
"Okay," she breathes. "It'd be really stupid for someone trying to get me to park in here. I'd recognize their car."
"Not if they parked above you and walked down." She doesn't say anything. Because she can't hear me. And now I'm pissed at myself that I basically let her go while I was pissed at her. My mother used to tell me you should never go to bed mad at your partner. I know this is different, yet it feels the same way. I want to tell her I'm sorry, but even if I did, she wouldn't hear me.
"It's a damn shame you can't talk back to me."
I smirk. Yes, it is, Jules. It's a damn fucking shame.
"I forgot to ask you what you'd like me to wear tomorrow for our meeting."
Even though I know she can't hear me, I pretend she can. "Nothing would be just fine. Thanks for asking."
"A dress? With nothing under it? Maybe a pair of heels just for you."
"Fuck." My dick immediately hardens. "You can wear dresses every day with nothing under them for all I care, but for the love of all that's holy, please start wearing heels for me." And just like that, I'm back to being putty in her hands. She's so playing games. That's what she's done all night. My stomach clenches. I love her games.
"Theo, will you wear your glasses tomorrow for me? They're sexy as fuck. I think you said that to me once."
Shit. I glance up into the mirror. "I hate glasses, but I'll wear them for you." What if she is playing me? Do I care at this point? Should I stay on this ride as long as it lasts because I love the way she makes me feel? No, idiot. You're doing this for Marco. Stay focused. What if she's not playing me?
"I have to quit talking to you now. But one more question. What exactly are you going to do if I find myself in a compromised position? Where are you anyway?"
I don't answer out loud this time. For some reason, it feels like saying what I'd do might compromise us both. It's like whispering when you know you don't need to.
I just stare at the phone, wishing we didn't have to be so secretive, wishing I had a picture of her to go with her contact. It almost makes me want to get back on the Facepage just to be able to see her.
Then, the screen flashes the call information because the call has ended.
The. Call. Fucking. Ended.
What the hell? Jerking my steering wheel to the right, I turn down the first street I can to head toward her apartment. But she's right. What am I going to do? Did she hang up on me on purpose? Is she trying to get me to come back to her place? What if it's a trap, and that's why Charlie was so quick to let me go? What if she let him know while they were so quiet, supposedly making out in the parking garage at the office?