“One thing,” he says, pulling back, and I groan. “You want me to be in control of this, you have to do something for me.” He looks serious as he takes my hand. “Words are hard for you. So, if there’s ever anything I’m doing that you don’t like and you want me to stop, and you can’t tell me, then you tap me three times. Like this. And I’ll stop.”
I nod and clear my throat, but my voice sounds all messed up. “Okay.”
“I’ll stop. Whatever I’m doing, I’ll stop. It doesn’t matter if it’s a kiss or a touch or I’m five seconds from coming. I will always stop. Tell me you understand.”
“I understand,” I choke out.
“And if you just need me to slow down so we can talk about it?”
“Rafe, please. Come on.” I’m burning up, straining beneath him to get some contact. Every word he says is turning me on more and more.
“What do you do if you need to slow down and talk about whatever is happening?” Rafe asks again. His voice is calm, but he slides his hand under my back and pulls me to him, grinding us together fiercely. I groan.
“Tell me, Colin. Tell me.”
“I—ungh!” His mouth is on my neck and I can hardly think. “I tap three times. Rafe, please. Please! Oh god!”
“You’re so fucking hot like this. Struggling underneath me. Desperate to come but waiting until I let you.” We kiss until our mouths are bruised. Rafe strokes a thumb along my neck, which leaves me shivering against him.
Shit, shit, shit. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I feel like I’m coming apart. And I shouldn’t like losing control like this. It’s dangerous. Too close to having it taken away. And when that happens—
“Oh god!”
Rafe’s hand on me is hot and slick with my own arousal and he’s moving so slowly. He runs his other hand up the inside of my thigh and squeezes my balls. I arch off the couch and start babbling. “Oh fuck, fuck. What are you—fuck!”
Rafe groans and squeezes my hipbones, holding me still. I make an effort to relax when I realize I’m gripping his shoulders hard enough to bruise.
“Rafe, Rafe, that’s—I—”
“Good?” he drawls. “Or not good.”
“Good. Yes. Fuck. Please.”
He sinks his teeth into the sensitive spot where my neck meets my shoulder and a jolt of pure lust rocks me.
“Rafe.” I sink my hand into his hair and strain up into his body. “I’m gonna….”
He strokes me fast and brutal, and I almost choke as I come all over his hand and my stomach and chest. Rafe ends up half on top of me, face pressed to my neck.
I start to untangle my fingers from Rafe’s hair and catch my breath. I want to say thank you, but I know it would sound stupid.
He kisses the corner of my mouth, and then he cups my jaw and kisses me for real. I can feel his erection against my hip, and become aware that he’s still fully clothed while my clothes are in total disarray and he’s made me come harder than I’ve ever come in my life.
“You’re—do you—what about you?” I finally choke out around Rafe’s demanding mouth.
“I’m… okay,” he says, easing off the kiss a little. He traces my lips with his fingers, then pulls off me and sits up.
“Come back here.” When he doesn’t move, I sit up, groaning after being mashed into the couch. “You’re so fucking stubborn.” Rafe just watches me through half-lowered eyelids.
I frown and tug gently at his shirt. He lets go of me and puts his arms up, allowing me to strip it off him. He’s fucking beautiful. The thought falls into my head, though I don’t think I’ve ever had it about another person. He’s broader than me: his frame is large and his muscles are rounded. One of my hands comes up and strokes his arm before I’m aware I’ve moved. Rafe sits, gamely letting me touch him.
“Will you?” I gesture to his jeans, and he immediately slides them down his long legs. His thighs and calves are defined and my eyes keep darting down to the bulge in his white briefs.
“Tell me exactly what you want to happen right now. Not what you think should happen. Not what you think I want. Don’t think about it. Just tell me.”
I blink stupidly at him, and he leans in and kisses me. I bring his hair forward so it envelops my face, and twine my fingers through it.
“Mmmm,” he hums. “Tell me.”
I shake my head, not sure what the hell to say, and lean closer to kiss his collarbone.
“Tell me,” he murmurs again. “Please.”
His please sends shivers down my spine.