She’d been totally entranced. That was what she had gone to tell him. Had needed to tell him. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about him. Or that listening to that low, husky voice had reminded her of the words he’d whispered as he’d made love to her. No, it had nothing to do with that. But he deserved to be told. She’d never considered audio books before and she felt as though a whole new world had opened up for her. That was all.
And now she was faced with the fact that she had been wrong, so wrong. If Zach meant nothing, why was the thought of him and Lauren together tearing her apart? She had a sudden flashback to that first day. Zach and Lauren naked together. Both so beautiful, so perfect.
She wasn’t perfect; she was damaged. She stroked her hand down her thigh, but even as she felt the raised edges of the scar beneath the cotton of her trousers, she knew that it wasn’t only physically that she was imperfect. There was something fundamental missing in her, something that had been missing since Sam had died.
So while she had to accept that Zach meant something to her, she also had to accept that she meant nothing to Zach. Oh, he’d made love to her. But he’d made love to a lot of women. He’d backed off super quick when Jake had suggested he should. Or maybe it had been the “virgin” thing he couldn’t take. He was probably worried she was going to go all clingy on him. Never going to happen.
People like Lauren and Zach belonged to the same world. A world where she would always be an outsider. But it hurt.
Until she had seen Lauren today, she hadn’t realized how different she had felt over the past few weeks. Even doing her best to ignore Zach, she had still been aware that he was there, somewhere. It had been something new, something exciting, and now it was over. She just had to get a grip and decide how she was going to act, although there really didn’t seem to be a lot of choice. She’d make it through dinner and she’d act as though she didn’t care—as though it didn’t matter. She sighed. She was good at that. After all, she’d had a lot of practice.
The sun was going down when she finally stood up, brushed herself off, and headed back toward the villa, Skip at her heels.
…
Dani came out of her room having showered and changed into clean, if otherwise identical, clothes, to find Gary and Simon waiting for her. Both looked pretty put-together in long pants and button-down shirts.
“Are we supposed to be dressing up?” she asked. Dressing up wasn’t one of her strong points, and even if she had wanted to, it wasn’t really an option anyway.
“Yes,” Gary replied, giving her shorts and T-shirt a disapproving look. “Don’t you have anything…?”
She peered down at herself—she looked okay. “Anything what?”
“More…feminine.”
“Duh, no,” she replied. “Do you?” Gary grinned and Dani continued. “Anyway, why all this elegance?” They both looked a little shifty, and she snorted. “I take it you’ve met Lauren.”
More than a little shifty, she decided.
“We took her down to meet the dogs this afternoon,” Gary answered.
“Really? It took both of you to do it? And shouldn’t that be my job? Why didn’t I do that?”
“Well,” Simon said, and Dani was pleased to hear the hint of guilt in his voice, “Zach said he’d been going to ask you but you disappeared pretty quickly and no one could find you. Where were you, anyway?”
“Around.” She shrugged. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”
Zach and Lauren looked pretty good as well. In fact, everyone was gorgeous, with one obvious exception. She tried not to stare as Zach walked toward them, but it took a lot of effort. He was dressed in dark trousers and a white silk shirt, the sleeves rolled up to show strong, tanned forearms. Probably been sunbathing again, she thought caustically.
She turned her gaze to Lauren, who had gone for a matching look in a black-and-white sundress that showed off her voluptuous figure. Was the matching outfits pure coincidence? She guessed not.
“Danielle, this is Lauren. The two of you almost met.”
“Well, I’ve seen her with no clothes on, does that count?” she asked. Gary cleared his throat behind her. “Gary has, too,” she added for good measure.
Zach and Lauren both smiled. They were so well-mannered.
“Beer or wine?” Zach asked. He had a bottle of white wine in one hand and an empty glass in the other, so she asked for beer just to be difficult, then frowned as she realized it left her alone with Lauren.
“Danielle?”