That only seemed to make Coop more twisted with anger. And his reticence made Matty twist with anger as well. They approached the steps by the clock tower welcoming them back to the safety of campus. Matty wondered how many more minutes of silence he could stand with Coop.
He was walking with a ghost. The Ghost of String Cheese. Now Matty got why Coop only gave him non-answers about high school.
"So the guy was a jerk. Or asshole. Let's go with asshole. So what if he called you names. I got teased plenty in high school and junior high, and elementary school. Even nursery school. Don't give him this satisfaction."
Coop nodded, but it didn't get through. He marched up Susquehanna Avenue, the main road of campus, undeterred.
"Kids used to avoid touching me because of 'Matty germs.'" Matty wished that Coop would have a reaction that wasn't about himself. Matty hadn't thought about or talked about Matty germs in years. It was buried behind a fortress of strength and intelligence. "If they did touch me, in class or something, they'd run around at recess saying they had Matty germs. And in high school, some kids started an I Hate Matty Facebook page. The school called a meeting with my parents and everything." The pain from those memories came crashing back, but if it helped get Coop to open up, then it was worth it.
"They're assholes. I wish I could go to Dallas and kick all their asses for you."
"They're in the past." Matty reached down for Coop's hand. His fingers willed Coop's hand to touch.
"How can you just talk about that stuff?" Coop asked. "Doesn't it make you angry?"
"More hurt than angry. It still hurts, but I learned long ago that I couldn't let their words hold me back. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
"That's beautiful."
"My dad said that. Well, he got it from Gandhi." Matty squeezed his hand.
The guys continued the rest of the way up north hands together, in silence, but a better kind of silence. A silence they could both share rather than one that put a wall between them.
They went back to Matty's dorm room since Rafe would probably be asleep in Coop's. Coop surveyed the details of the single, touching a paperweight, holding a picture frame up to his face, flipping his fingers through the textbooks stacked next to his desk. Matty realized Coop was the only guest he had in here, and he felt exposed. The good kind of exposed. This is me.
"Do you want to sit?"
The springs reacted to Coop's bulk. There is a guy on my bed. Matty took in the beautiful sight.
"Comfy bed." Coop smiled, and he seemed to be same old Coop. Or at least, that's how he wanted to appear, but Matty knew better. "Thanks for cheering me up."
Except he wasn't cheered up. He slathered on another coat of veneer, right after Matty stripped one of his away.
"What were you like in high school?" Matty asked, armed crossed, answers awaiting.
"That's quite a question." Coop wiped his hands on his pants.
"Coop." Matty wasn't going to let him deflect.
"You heard that guy. They all called me String Cheese. I was skinny, pale, no muscle. They teased me, laughed at me, pushed me around in the locker room. Not as bad as you, but it was still shitty all the same. I dreaded school. That's how I felt in Kelvin's apartment. It's the worst feeling when you can't do anything, and you just have to take it. All this," Coop motioned to his sculpted arms and chest. "And then when my dad lost his job, I felt even more powerless. My parents had these permanently worried looks on their faces. It was like our family was being bullied. It all just made me realize that there are these forces out there that are so much stronger than us that we can't beat.
"I started transforming my body the summer after graduation. I went to the gym twice a day. I bought protein powder and cut out carbs. I got inked. I wasn't going to let myself be powerless. I wanted to fight back, somehow. I wasn't going to start a new chapter as fucking String Cheese."
Coop's face was red with anger, his wrists pulled so tight they were white. Matty wanted to give him a hug, but knew this wasn't the time. He hoped just being here with him was enough.
"I'm-"
"Don't say you're sorry. I don't want pity."
"You can tell me these things. Sometimes, it's good just to talk it out." "Would you have been into me if I told you I was a complete loser in high school? That I couldn't even get a girl to go with me to senior prom as a friend?"
"Yes!" Matty said on reflex, but he wondered how true that was. Would the truth have ruined the mystique that originally surrounded Coop? Did Matty like that he was friends, and now more, with a popular guy? Coop vulnerable on his bed made his heart swell with emotion, and it was sexier than his cool guy persona. "I like this Coop better, the one who isn't trying to be perfect."
"I wanted it in the past. We don't have to go around telling everyone our deepest, darkest secret. I'm not going to be like my roommate who has zero boundaries. Boundaries are good."
Coop fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. Matty could almost hear his armor dropping away.
"The past doesn't matter anymore," Matty said. "The best revenge is living well."
"That works for you and your mammoth GPA, but for me? I'll always feel like a fucking String Cheese."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"I have Matty germs and you're a String Cheese. We make an awkward couple. Let's move on."
"So we're a couple now?" Coop arched an eyebrow.
"I mean … " Stupid mouth saying stupid words. "We don't have to be. We're a couple of friends or a couple really good friends."
"Matty." Coop rubbed his hand and looked at him with whole eyes. "You're the first guy I've ever kissed. I've never been with anyone, never dated anyone. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing."
"Neither do I. Let's learn together." Matty planted a soft kiss on his lips.
"Let's." Coop beckoned Matty to the empty space beside him. Matty's jeans tightened in an instant.
He rested against Coop's thick frame, smelling his cologne and his warm scent. He got the best of his both worlds: vulnerable Coop with a hard body shell. His heart raced against his rib cage like a feral animal. Matty leaned his head on Coop's shoulder as they stared up at the blank ceiling. It could be the Sistine chapel right now. Coop dangled his index finger through Matty's hair.
There is a boy on my bed. And I'm on the bed, too!
They turned to each other, Coop's heady-lidded eyes filled with need. His lips shined red. Matty tried to study to details of Coop's face, but their mouths came together too fast.
Coop pulled Matty against him into a passionate kiss. Ceiling, floor, it was all the same. The room spun in circles. Coop's determined hands were rubbing up and down Matty's back. Matty threw his arms around his neck. He could feel Coop's racing heart vibrating against his chest.
Coop kissed his lips softly, tenderly. Passionate pecks. It was all so nice, but Matty wanted more than nice. He rammed his tongue inside Coop's mouth. He wasn't sure how to do this, but neither was Coop! Coop massaged Matty's tongue with his tongue. He let out a low moan that echoed in Matty's throat.
I made Coop moan. It revved his engine like nothing before. It was like a life milestone.
Matty listened to their lips opening and closing, their bodies rustling around the blanket. Coop squeezed his ass. Matty's body was a slab of exposed nerve endings.
Coop patted his ass, like it was all his. And it was. Coop had the car keys and was taking him for a spin. Soon, Coop's cologne faded away and Matty breathed in the natural scent of this boy next to him.
Like a twist he didn't see coming, Coop's hand was on the fly of his jeans. His fingers undid Matty's top button, then unzipped tooth by tooth torturously. Matty's cock raged inside. It twitched at the fresh air coming its way. Coop pulled down Matty's underwear, and his cock sprung up. He'd never been this hard. His cock was exposed in the air, aching to be touched. Coop smiled at what he saw. He kissed Matty again, taking the air out of his lungs.
Coop spat on his hand and wrapped it around Matty's cock.
"Actually," Matty said. "I, uh, I read online that a really good lubricant is … "
His eyes traveled to his desk and bottle of extra virgin olive oil sitting in the corner.
"You've done your research."
"I was poking around the internet during a quick study break."
Coop hopped off the bed. Matty watched his tight ass move under his jeans as he snatched the bottle off the desk. He twisted off the cap and poured oil into his hand. "I wish I had some garlic bread to dip in this."
"Coop!"
Coop returned to the bed, nearly smothering him with a kiss. His oiled hand made contact, and Matty went supernova. He gasped for air. The bottom half of his body was having a religious experience. Coop stroked softly. His slicked-up hand slid the length of his dick. His thumb rolled around the head.
That was all it took.