Magic silenced him with his gaze. “I need to know her answer, understand? I have to know the answer to the what-if. It’s either that or you have to leave here. It can’t go on like this.”
Eagan stiffened. “Fine. We’ll be gone by morning.”
“No,” Clara said, her hair flying with the shake of her head. “This is your family, Eagan.” She turned to Magic. “I would leave, and never come back. If he was unfaithful, that’s what I’d do.”
“And if he sought you out?”
Clara shook her head, sadly. “It would be over. A breach of trust like that can’t be restored. Not… with me anyway. Others maybe, but not me.”
Magic nodded, considering her answer before addressing his friend.
“And you… how do you know you won’t stray? Why would you take a chance with your female? Why risk it?”
Eagan shifted closer to Clara, a fathomless expression on his face. “I don’t think I can explain it.”
“Try,” Magic demanded. “I need you to try.”
Eagan sighed. “You sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes, damn it.”
“Here’s the thing. We’ve been taught straying is instinctual, right. That our animals require it, the same way we need to mate and produce young.”
Magic nodded.
“But that’s just not true. It’s a pile of bullshit we’ve been sitting on for too many years. You wanna talk instinct, needs? Okay, let’s talk shit out. I need to make her happy. Seeing her smile fills me to the brim with pleasure better than any random lay ever could. I need to keep her safe. If any harm was to ever come to her, I’d fucking die inside, you get me?” He raised his brows, knowingly. And yeah, Magic understood that point for damn sure. “I need to love her, in every physical, emotional, functional way possible. I need to give her my cubs and spend the rest of my life devoted to the family I make with her. What I sure as a good hard fuck don’t need, is anyone else.” He paused, but then went ahead and told Magic the truth. “That includes you and this clan.”
Eagan looked at Clara, and his eyes went soft for her. Fucking hell, Magic knew that look. It was what he’d witnessed with Renner. It was… how he looked at Josie.
“Renner says it’s a choice,” Magic mumbled.
“That’s what I’m saying. This shit about straying is the biggest fucking lie we’ve been told.” Eagan shook his head, walking to the sink to fill a kettle with water. “The truth is we’re more like humans than anyone wants to admit. The difference between us and the wolves is that we can stray. Our instincts don’t inhibit us like theirs do. But we don’t have to. We have control over every other aspect of our being, but not our ability to be faithful? Naw. That’s bullshit handed down by people before us who assumed because their cat didn’t stop them from taking others, it meant they could. And should. But those assholes were wrong. Can’t you see?”
He set the kettle on the stove and lit the burner.
“I’m trying,” Magic admitted. “I’m trying to understand.”
Eagan faced Magic, bracing his hands on the countertop. “Are you?”
Magic nodded, finding something interesting outside the window.
“There are rumors around the lodge,” Eagan said carefully.
“Yeah? What rumors?”
“You and Josie. That she’s some kind of shade and she carries your mark. That true?”
Magic sighed, hooking his hands on his hips. “That’s one version I guess.”
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but if you want to be with her, make a choice, and stick with it. Choose her, or don’t. But if you do… make it forever.”
Magic ran his tongue along his teeth, holding the reins on his emotions so tight he had figurative white knuckles. “What if I can’t do it… forever?”
Eagan shook his head, his mouth cocking up on one side. “Naw. The Magic of years ago maybe, but not you. I see the way you watch the mated females for signs of distress. You’d be even more careful with your own.”
Magic drew in a shaking breath and had to cough to cover a fucking sob. It felt good that one of his brothers had faith in him when he had such little faith in himself. Maybe it was time to change that. Buck up, and own his shit, in the words of Eagan. Maybe it was time to do what was right for Mandi and Josie… and himself. Time to do right by his clan.
He found Eagan’s gaze and gave him a nod. Thank you.
His friend tipped his chin once. You’re welcome.
Magic headed for the door but Clara’s voice stopped him. “If you, um, want… there’s going to be a little party tonight. I know Josie will be there.”