No!
“Mandi!” he cried, not recognizing his own voice. “Shit, Mandi. What did you do?”
His knees hit the hardwood floor beside their bed, and he cradled her head against his chest.
“Wake up, mate. Wake up right now!”
Whatever she’d done, she could heal. She was a damn shifter after all, and they weren’t fragile. With their mating bond, he could heal her. Yes. It was going to be okay. He just had to calm his cat down enough to focus.
But he couldn’t even catch his breath. He felt like he was being sawed in half from the inside. Pain was a demon’s claw around his heart, squeezing until he gasped from the agony.
And the fear.
He ran shaky hands all over her body, pushing his bond at her, desperate for it to take.
Just one more chance with her. That’s what he prayed for. One more chance to figure out what she needed from him.
What he felt was... hopeless. Unfixable. No matter how hard he tried to fix her heart, it refused to beat. And her lungs, they refused to pull in air.
And his body was changing too. He could feel the bond stopping at his fingertips, too stubborn to flow forward into her. Like the connection had been cut as surely as with shears. The loss was felt as physical, throbbing from his hand to his heart in a chaotic pattern of twitches.
But he wouldn’t give up. He couldn’t quit trying. She was his. He had to help her. She couldn’t end like this. They couldn’t end like this.
He still had to tell her sorry.
He’d tell her now. In case she could hear.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. Just let me explain. We can fix this if you just wake up.” He shook her, gently at first, then harder. “Please. God, please, Mandi.”
But her body remained limp, her heart remained still, and their bond remained fractured.
Magic kissed her. He’d force the bond on her. Make her body take it. She’d live, damn it. He kissed her with everything he had.
He jerked back, spitting on the floor. He tasted poison on her lips. Something vile. And still, he couldn’t stop trying.
Heal. Heal, damn it. Come back to me.
Time passed but the only indication of it was the sunlight peaking in through the cracks in the blinds. Still, he pushed his bond at her. Still, he whispered his sorries. Still, he hoped her eyes would open.
They never did.
Owyn eventually came, and took her away. Magic didn’t hear anything the cat said.
His panther was done. Done fighting. Done living. His life mate was dead, he’d die too. Fair was fair. And when he met her on the other side, he’d tell her everything he wished he’d told her in this life.
Magic lay on the floor next to the bed, his knees as close to his chest as he could get them. Everything hurt so fucking bad.
The conversation in the living room drifted to his ears like promises whispered to an unhearing wind.
“I’m never mating,” Owyn said, his voice aching and trembling. “Never. This shit ain’t happening to me.”
“Shh,” Layna hissed. “He’ll hear you.”
She was young too, and Magic could hear the fear in her tone. They were the next generation, only five years younger than him, but they were the next ones to mate. And someone had to stop them.
He blinked his wet lids.
What was he thinking? He couldn’t curl up and die. He had friends, and those friends needed him to keep them from making the same mistakes he’d made.
“I don’t ever want to mate either,” Layna whispered so quietly, Magic had to strain to hear it.
It was settled then. No mating for the big cats. Not ever. What happened to his Mandi would never happen to another female under his watch.
Never.
Chapter One
Ten years later…
Magic stood on the footbridge that crossed a small finger of the lake that cradled the lodge. This was his. This lodge and the people in it. Even the visitors were his for a time. But the shifters and humans, the people who made up his clan, they were his responsibility. It was his job to keep them safe.
Even from themselves. But especially from each other.
He stared down at Renner’s mate, Bethany, as she sat on a bench along the bank staring into the water. The bubble of sadness surrounding her disturbed him. Almost four years had passed since he’d allowed Renner to take a mate, and it wasn’t a mistake he’d make again.
He hadn’t decided what to do about Eagan and his human yet, but there was no doubt in his mind, allowing any of the cats to mate was a huge misstep.
Until a few months ago, Bethany had been happy. Magic had watched her closely over the years, gauging her for any signs of trouble between her and Renner. He’d promised Magic he was different, that he felt so strongly about Bethany his cat would never stray.