“No!” I exclaim. “I—maybe. I don’t know.”
“Paige, what’s going on? When Christian left for Dallas you told me you were still certain you were going to marry Henry.”
“And I am.”
“Are you?”
“Jesus,” I huff, collapsing back onto a stiff metal chair. “See what I mean about everything being fucked up?”
“Do you have feelings for Christian?”
“I don’t know, maybe. Since he’s been gone I keep thinking about him. Why am I thinking about him?”
“Thinking about him how?” she pushes.
“All kinds of shit. At first I was upset. I don’t even know if upset’s the right word … annoyed, maybe. He pushes me to have these dates with him and explore my feelings, but then he turns around, and just before I head back to New York to marry another man, he leaves.” Retelling my frustration only seems to stir the feelings in me once more.
“I know it’s hard to understand, but Christian has been trying to get that contact for at least six months. The guy’s really important for plans he has.”
“But I’m not important?” I inquire.
“If you weren’t important he wouldn’t be rushing back early,” Emmie points out.
“How come every man I choose puts his career before me?” I ask, throwing my head back and huffing.
“That’s not fair, seeing as you haven’t chosen Christian; it’s not like you’re his girlfriend. And I thought Henry always put you first?”
“He does, I guess. It just seems like since I got back from Europe he’s always at the office.”
“You were barely home before you came down here, and I believe that was for your own career goals.” Damn it, she always has a way of putting the straight truth on me. I love her and hate her for it.
“You’re right,” I concede. “I think I’m looking for things to be pissed about when I’m really just pissed off at myself.”
“Why?” Emmie now seems as confused as I feel.
“I love Henry. I should have never agreed to those dates. All it did was confuse the situation.”
“Christian will be home tonight,” Emmie says. But I already know this information. I think that is why all of my emotions were coming to a head. “What are you going to do? He’s expecting that third date.”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do. Maybe you don’t want to admit it. What’s your gut telling you to do?”
I close my eyes, clear my thoughts, and speak the first words that come to mind, “Marry Henry.”
When my eyelids lift, and I peer over at my friend, she looks a little sad. She always tells me to follow my heart, but it’s obvious my heart doesn’t align with her goals.
“Then you need to tell him tonight.” Her words are soft and gentle. I know she’s right. I nod, and we go back to work, making small talk about Colin and Olivia, and eventually, the wedding.
A DAY I hoped would drag on for an eternity flies by. After Emmie helped me reach the decision about what needed to happen with Christian, I block him from my thoughts. I spend the rest of the day working alongside my best friend.
I laugh harder than I’ve laughed in years as Emmie and I share funny stories of our time together as roommates in New York. Some of the things didn’t seem funny when we were living them, but looking back, they are absolutely hilarious.
One of my favorites is the story about William Stryker. Emmie had met this guy in a park, at the time she thought the meeting was just random, and had no clue he was a private investigator hired by her late husband’s father. After bumping into her, and some heavy flirting, she had agreed to go out on a date with him.
It had been perhaps the worst date of all time. To hear Emmie retell the events from her perspective put an entirely new level of hysteria on it. Em is nice enough to add special effects and voice over impressions of me at the part where I attempted to intervene, threatening this perv with bodily harm. In that moment, I wish I could put her in my pocket and take her back to New York with me. However, I’m relieved she’ll be heading to New York soon after I return and will be staying with me until the wedding.
The evening air is actually quite cool, and I decide to go with jeans, riding boots, a long sleeve, form-fitting black t-shirt, and oversized gray cardigan for my date with Christian. I consider canceling, but then decide it’s only fair for me to share my intentions of following through on my marriage to Henry, in person. It seems like the least I can do, seeing as I agreed to this craziness in the first place.