“Whatever,” I add dismissively, grabbing my phone and flipping through the music choices. “Bruises” by Chairlift is my next selection. I press the genius playlist option, and then return the phone to the speaker dock on the nightstand.
“Well?” Emmie pushes. She clearly isn’t going to let this rest until she gets all the details.
“Since when does Christian cook?” I inquire, thinking back on the evening.
“He’s good, isn’t he?”
“Not bad.”
“How was the German chocolate cake?” she asks.
I look at her, narrowing my glare. “How did you know?”
“Really? I knew what he was planning days before you did.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“And suffer the wrath of Colin and Christian? No way, you’re on your own with this one, girl,” Emmie replies, collapsing on the bed next to me.
I prop myself up and look into her eyes, watching for any sign she might be hiding something else from me. “What does he have planned for date number two?”
She grins. “I thought they weren’t dates.”
“You know what I mean,” I huff, falling back.
“Actually—I have no idea what he has planned for your next date.”
I groan, frustrated with the entire situation. Even if he somehow manages to get me to concede, I might still have some sort of feelings for him, it doesn’t change how I feel about Henry. Christian and I lost our shot at a happily ever after.
“You really have no intention of telling me how it went last night, do you?”
“It went fine,” I offer.
“I’ll take that as you had wild and crazy sex and that you ate cake off each other’s naked bodies.”
“If you had balls, I’d kick you in them.”
Emmie laughs. “Then tell me, or I’ll have to let my imagination loose on the evening.”
“Jesus, you’re relentless.”
She grins confidently, grabbing a pillow, and wrapping her arms tightly around it. “Yup, but that’s one of the many reasons you love me.”
I prop my back up against the small headboard, the metal frame digging into my shoulder blade. Shifting, moving another pillow into place behind me, I debrief my friend of the evening’s details. I tell her about the conversations that were had, the delicious meal he prepared for me, and then the way I ruined everything.
She stares at me, contemplating the details. I wish she’d say something, anything. “Well?” I prod.
“So he didn’t kiss you or violate your rule in any way?” she clarifies.
“No, he was a perfect gentleman.”
“And you freaked out because his hand touched yours?” she continues, a disbelief in her voice.
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Why?”
“I’m just trying to figure out who in the hell you are?”
“What the fuck?”
She shakes her head, and then locking eyes with me, explains, “You’re the girl who always does whatever she wants, no matter the consequences. You freaking graze his hand and you flip out? You’re afraid, aren’t you?”
“I am not afraid!”
“No, it … it makes sense now,” she stammers, connecting the thoughts in her head. “You know you still love him, and that’s why you’re afraid. Jesus, how didn’t I see it before?”
“You need to stop, I’m serious. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I warn.
She reaches out and scoops my hands into hers, squeezing tightly. “You helped me when I was afraid.”
I pull away, standing and turning away from her. “I’m not kidding. You need to fucking stop it!”
“Don’t be pissed, I’m just telling you what I see,” Emmie says defensively, shifting uneasily on the bed.
“These dates were a mistake,” I say, beginning to pace.
“Probably,” she agrees.
“What do I do?” I ask, hoping she actually does have answers that might help, because in this moment, I’m absolutely clueless.
“How do you feel about him?”
“Who?”
“Christian.”
“I don’t know …” I reply honestly.
“Then I think you need to start with figuring that out,” she recommends.
I finally stop my pacing and sit down on the edge of the bed. I don’t look at her when I ask. I’m afraid of what else she might see. “Do you think it’s possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time?”
She’s quiet at first, considering my question thoughtfully. “I think a person can love more than once in his or her life. I don’t think your heart can be divided equally between two people at the same time, though. There is always one you’d rather be with, one you think about when you’re away from them, one who makes life its best when they’re with you.”