“Yeah, sad, right? She died when I’d just turned six, and since there was no other family, I became a foster care kid. Not a life I’d wish on any child. Maybe someday I’ll tell you about my experiences, but that’s not what you’re wanting to know tonight. What I’ve never talked about to anyone except Arthur and my last foster mother before now is the boy I fell in love with when I was sixteen.”
“So Arthur is the keeper of your secrets?”
She nodded. “He is.”
He rubbed his chin over the top of her head. “Give me Arthur status, Riley. Tell me your secrets.”
“Damn you, Cody Roberts. How did you sneak into my heart?” His arms tightened around her. “Okay, here’s my biggest secret. When I was fifteen, I was sent to a foster home where there were three other children. Two were foster kids like me, although younger, and there was a biological son a year older than me. His name was Reed, and he was the first person to be nice to me. It was a novel experience, let me tell you.”
She pulled away from Cody. She couldn’t talk about Reed while being held by another man after all. “Eventually we fell in love, which turned out to be his doom.” Giving Cody a sideways glance to see his reaction to that, she saw nothing but a strong man patiently waiting to hear her story.
“Go on,” he said.
She lifted her gaze to the sky. “We used to sneak out at night, put a blanket on the ground, and stare up at those very same stars up there and dream of a life together.” Tears stung her eyes, thinking of Reed. If she could have one wish, it would be that he’d never met her, because then he’d still be alive.
“By that time, I was pretty wild. He’d always been a good boy—great grades, got along with his parents, loved by everyone . . . you know the type. One thing you need to understand. His parents were dirt poor and they took in foster kids for the extra money. I can’t blame them for that, but the children they brought into their home were never valued for more than the income.”
Telling her story was hard, and she paused to compose herself. The last thing she wanted was Cody’s pity, but he needed to understand that she’d been the one to corrupt a beautiful boy. Cody put his hands on the porch rail and lifted up, sitting on it. He gave the appearance that he had all the time in the world to listen to her sad story. His calm patience steadied her.
“Their son was everything to them, their hope for a better life. He played baseball, was an all-star pitcher, and had offers of full scholarships to some of the best colleges. The world was his oyster until I . . .” She cleared her throat, and then pushed out the words naming her sin. “Until I turned him onto drugs.” What would Cody say to that, this man who was a hero to his country? He’d probably never touched drugs in his life. She risked a peek at him, warmed by the compassion in his eyes.
“He could have said no. You get that, right?”
No, she hadn’t gotten that. She was to blame. Reed had only smoked that first joint to please her. “He could have, I suppose,” she said softly.
“Riley, there’s no could have about it. I don’t care how damn hot you are, which you are, by the way, but there’s not a thing you could do or say to make me do something I didn’t want to. He could have said no.”
It was strangely appealing to hear him say that she couldn’t make him do something if he didn’t want to. If only Reed had been that strong in character. But where she had been able to take or leave the pot, thank God, Reed had taken to the stuff like a man on a mission. And Cody was right: Reed could have said no to that first joint she’d offered. That didn’t make her blameless, but it eased her guilt a little.
“Thank you for saying that. I never really thought of it that way.” She moved closer to Cody and rested an elbow on the railing. “At first it was fun, having someone to get high with. But where I thought of pot as a weekend recreational thing, Reed was smoking it before school, in between classes, and as soon as school got out for the day. It wasn’t long before he added coke to the mix. I tried it once at his insistence, but didn’t like how it made me feel. Reed started messing up at school and fighting with his parents. They blamed me, and rightly so.”
“You’re not responsible for his choices, Riley.”
“I get what you’re saying, but if not for me, he would have never started. Anyway, his parents called Child Protective Services to come get me out of the house. We panicked at the thought of being separated, and we ran away to Atlanta, figuring it was a big enough city to get lost in. With no money and no jobs, we lived on the streets.”