If you’d asked him, he would have said, objectively, that bright green was not a sexy color for toenails. It should have brought to mind fungus. Gangrene.
It turned out he had been wrong. Which was why he kept going back and looking at the damned picture.
“Whose foot is that?”
Cam fumbled the phone. He hadn’t realized that Jay had slid into the big semicircular booth that was otherwise empty. Though the beer was still flowing, the party had diffused as the night wore on. Some of the guys were playing darts, and a couple were daring each other to try to pick up women. Small groups formed and reformed. Everyone was making Cam feel welcome—Jay’s friends were good guys—but he was enjoying a bit of a breather. Well, he was enjoying Jane’s toes, truth be told.
“Come on,” Jay said, trying to grab the phone. “Who is that?”
“Cut it out!” Cam laughed as he rolled away farther down the booth, the maneuver reminding him of when they used to play-wrestle when he was a kid and Jay was home from university on visits. Jay would swarm him and then teach him how to escape his holds.
“Ah, the patented Jay Smith rollaway!” his brother said. “I’ve taught you well, young Jedi.”
Maybe it was the shooters Jay’s friends kept bringing around, but Cam hadn’t felt this at ease with his brother since…well, since those days when he was little. “You did,” he agreed. “You taught me a lot of good stuff.”
Jay looked startled for a moment. “Was that Christie?” he asked, handing the phone back without snooping into it any further. “Are you guys back together?”
He shook his head. “Nah.” He waited for the forthcoming lecture, but it didn’t come. Hell, he would blame it on the booze later, but damned if he wasn’t going to tell the truth. Well, not about the green toes. One thing at a time.
“Christie dumped me, actually.”
Jay’s eyes widened. Yeah, that was so not the role Jay had cast his brother in. “Oh, man, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.”
Cameron shrugged. “It was for the best, probably.”
“When did this all go down?”
“Well, I was…back unexpectedly early, as you know. So I went to her place to surprise her.”
“Wasn’t it your place, too? You guys were going to move in together.”
Cam nodded. He’d given up his apartment before the last deployment, which was what most reservists did before a tour, but he hadn’t bothered worrying about post-tour accommodations because they’d decided he’d move in with Christie when he got back.
“What happened?”
The humiliation was still fresh. He’d been imagining one of those emotional “soldier surprises loved one” reunion s like you saw on YouTube. “Well, she wasn’t expecting me just then. Neither was her…friend.” God. He couldn’t even say it.
But Jay must have understood because he said, “Jesus Christ. I’m sorry.” Then his eyes narrowed and he added, “You know what? Fuck her.”
Cam barked a startled laugh. His brother was pretty straitlaced. He didn’t swear much. “Well, I can’t, see. That role is already taken.” It was Jay’s turn to laugh, and it was gratifying. Cam couldn’t think when was the last time he’d made his big brother laugh. “I honestly think it was for the best, though.”
Because, really, it had set him straight. He’d gotten comfortable enough with Christie that he’d been starting to write off Alicia as an aberration. But the universe had bitch-slapped him back to reality. What do they say? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. So, yeah, lesson learned: no more relationships for him.
“Did you love Christie?” Jay asked.
Whoa. How had they gotten from laughing to this heavy shit so quickly? Cam’s normal MO would be to make a joke at this point. He opened his mouth to do just that but then closed it. Maybe if he said nothing, his brother would back off. But no, Jay wasn’t letting him off the hook, was gazing at him evenly with those bright aqua eyes that were the only trait the brothers shared. Well, shit. He’d started this whole truth thing, hadn’t he? “I thought I did. I wanted to.” He made a strangled noise of frustration. It was hard to explain, both because he was having trouble finding the words but also because he didn’t do shit like share his feelings. “I was trying to grow the fuck up. To commit to something. To someone. To her.”
Jay nodded. “It’s an admirable impulse, but I don’t think you can decide to love someone, no matter how good your intentions. It’s more…oh, forget it. Who am I? Dr. Phil?”
“Nah, you’re the Jedi Master, remember?” Cam knocked his shoulder against Jay’s. “So go ahead, dispense your wisdom, Oh Wise One.” He was kidding, but he really did want to hear what his brother had to say.
“I don’t really have any wisdom. It’s just that it probably wasn’t fair to either you or Christie to try to force things. I mean, I’m sorry it ended like it did, and cheating on your deployed boyfriend is pretty much the worst thing I can imagine a person doing, so I still think she’s a grade-A asshole…” Cam smiled as Jay trailed off and steepled his fingers, which was something he did when he was thinking hard. “You can be open to love, I guess, but I don’t even think that really matters. I think love is more something that happens to you. Hits you. A ‘ready or not’ kind of thing.” He smirked. “So there’s your Dr. Phil sound bite.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
Jay’s thoughtful expression was replaced by a sheepish grin. “Yeah.”
Cam slapped him on the back. “Well, that’s awesome.”
“I know Elise has gone a little bit crazy with this wedding. You’re not seeing her in her best light…”
“Don’t worry about it, man.” Elise wasn’t seeing Cam in his, either. The problem was he feared he’d lost the version of himself that Jay could be proud to introduce to his wife-to-be. Like when he flew home from his trial to find some other dude in what was supposed to be his home, he had become untethered from the man he was becoming. And it didn’t feel like something you got a second chance at, certainly not after having failed as spectacularly as he had—on both the home and career fronts.
A commotion drew his attention to the far end of the bar, which was just as well, because he was getting maudlin. “Well, speak of the devil.”
Jay looked up. Cam wouldn’t have thought it possible, but his brother grinned and groaned at the same time. “Hey, don’t call my lovely bride the devil.”
He hadn’t been. He’d been thinking of another devil. One with green toenails.
“Whoa. My lovely, extremely drunk bride.” Jay stood up. “Excuse me.”
The pub where they’d spent the evening had definitely been humming, but it was a chill sort of hum as beer flowed and groups of friends—Jay’s party included—enjoyed their evening. The arrival of Elise’s posse turned everything up to eleven. There must have been fifteen of them, their pink cheeks and flushed eyes heralding their inebriation. They were dressed up, most of them in skirts and heels. Elise was wearing a sparkly silver skirt, a tight T-shirt that said, “Pop the bubbly, I’m getting a hubby,” and a veil.
Gia made a beeline for him. She was wearing a skirt, too, a tight black one, and her pink T-shirt said, “I Do Crew.” He picked out another woman in the same shirt, one he remembered from drinks the other night—that would be Wendy.
“Who’ya looking for?” Gia asked, plopping down next to him.
“I’m just taking in the sight of all you lovely ladies.”
Gia rolled her eyes, picked up his beer, and took a long swig. He liked Gia. She had balls.
She slammed the beer down. “Listen, you asshole. I don’t know what kind of whammy you’re putting on Jane, but—”
“Whoa. I’m not putting any ‘whammy’ on Jane.”
“Oh, shut up. I know you.”
“Uh, you actually don’t.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “I know your type.”
“And what type is that?” he asked, not bothering to try to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
“The player type.” She leaned in and looked him right in the eye. “Now listen. Jane could use some fun. I’m all for that.” She poked him in the chest. “But you manage her expectations, you hear me?”
“I’m not really sure what expectations you—”
“Oh, shut up, Cameron. The bottom line is this: you hurt Jane, and not only do you have me to answer to, you’ll have Elise and Wendy all up in your face. We’re a goddamned sisterhood, so don’t fuck with us.” She picked up his beer and chugged the rest of it. “Understood?”
“Understood,” he said. Because it was. He could bluster and pretend he didn’t know what she was talking about, but she saw through him. From the sounds of things, Jane’s last boyfriend had been a dick. It was understandable that her friends wanted to prevent her from repeating the same mistake. He and Gia were totally on the same page there. He and Jane had had the one crazy kiss, but it stopped there.