She didn't know what that meant. All she knew was that she had been shamelessly kissing Joe and then had been caught by the man who was paying for their work. She pulled herself out of his arms and managed to heave herself up to her feet.
Joe sat on the floor, grinning up at her. "We'll time it better next time."
"I'm not sure there will be a next time."
"I am."
She couldn't hang around to figure out what his words referred to. She grabbed her stuff and got out of the house fast.
***
She called up her best friend, Missy, and they agreed to drive to the pizza place in the next town over to have dinner.
Missy was a year younger than Vanessa, but she looked like she was barely out of high school. If Vanessa thought it was bad to look little and delicate, she couldn't imagine how hard it was for Missy to look so young. She was small and curvy, with a pretty, heart-shaped face, and she was one of the smartest, strongest people Vanessa knew. She worked as a realtor in the area, but since there wasn't enough business to support herself, she also worked part time for her family's garden shop and landscaping business.
"All right," Missy said, after they'd put in their order. "Spill it."
"Spill what?"
"What's the matter? You look like you're about to explode with something."
Vanessa fought embarrassment and guilt for a moment before she admitted, "I kissed Joe."
Missy gaped. "What?"
"I kissed him. I mean, he kissed me, but I kissed him back."
"I knew it! I knew you secretly liked him!"
"I don't secretly like him. I still hate him."
"No, you don't. You're just holding onto the old grudge like it's a lifeline." Missy's tone was no-nonsense but still gentle enough to be kind. "You're afraid to let go of Carl, and you're using that old grudge as an excuse."
"That's what he says."
"Well, he's right." Missy turned to thank the server for their drinks before she continued. "Carl was great. He was amazing. And your life with him was amazing. It's got to be really hard to admit it's over, but maybe it's time you do."
"I know it's over." Vanessa felt ripped apart again, like all her secrets were being revealed.
"Maybe rationally. But you cling to his business, and you cling to being alone now-and I don't think you really want either of those things."
"I do want to keep his business!"
"Maybe. But do you want it exactly as it's always been? Wouldn't it be easier to partner up with Joe or someone, so you can do the things you're good at and not have to always stress about everything else?"
"I've done all right so far."
"You've done great, Vanessa. Everyone knows how great you've done. But that doesn't mean you need to do it forever. If you want to take a partner, you should do it. If you want to kiss Joe, you should do that too."
"I don't want to kiss Joe."
Missy laughed. "Okay. If you say so."
"You know, you're sounding annoyingly like Joe lately."
"Well, you love me, so what does that say about Joe?"
Vanessa made a face at her friend, feeling better about everything. Missy had a way of bringing all of her worries down to earth. Joe did too, for that matter.
The softer feelings made her feel guilty-since no one could or should equal Carl's place in her life-so she said, "You know what an ass Joe was back then."
"I do. He was. He definitely was. I think he's changed, though. People can, you know."
"Maybe."
"Besides, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. That doesn't mean you don't love them."
"I don't love Joe."
"You won't let yourself. One day, you're going to have to really think about why that is."
Vanessa was quiet for a minute, thinking about her friend's words.
She was still thinking about them several hours later, when she was lying awake in bed.
Thursday
The next morning, Vanessa arrived at Eden Manor filled with jittery excitement.
It was a ridiculous way to feel. She hadn't felt like that in years. It reminded her of high school when she knew she was going to run into her latest crush at the mall. She wasn't oblivious enough not to know what she was excited about, but she tried to dampen the feelings.
It didn't matter that she felt close to Joe-closer than she'd felt to anyone since Carl. She knew better than to take anything Joe said or did seriously.
She couldn't help but feel like something really big was about to happen, though.
Since she wasn't going to let her personal life distract her from work, she cleared her mind as she went to talk to Ruth and see the progress on the staircase.
"What happened?" Vanessa asked, stopping short when she stepped into the house and saw that the four bottom steps had been completely dismantled.
"I got in early today and checked the condition of the steps before they get refinished," Ruth said, as calm and no-nonsense as ever. "Those bottom ones are hopeless. They need to be rebuilt."
Vanessa tried not to groan out loud. "Can we make them look consistent with the rest of the stairs?"
Ruth's expression and half-shrug answered the question. "Do my best. Vic Little sells the best variety of reclaimed wood. I can head over there and see what I can find that will match. Refinishing the steps will make them look basically the same."
"Yeah, but basically the same isn't what Peter and Kelly want. They want it perfect."
"I'll make it as perfect as I can."
"I know you will. Thanks." Vanessa smiled, but she was muttering under her breath as she walked past the staircase and toward the back of the house. She'd been planning to finish up the fireplace this morning, but she needed to talk to Peter and Kelly first.
She heard them in the kitchen, so she tapped on the swinging door that separated the kitchen from the hall. She thought of the kitchen as a private space-although they'd been told the workers were welcome to use the refrigerator and microwave-so she didn't like to burst in and intrude.
"Morning," Peter called out, pushing the door open to let her in. "How are you?"
"Fine. Sorry to bother you so early."
Peter was dressed, but Kelly was wearing pajama pants with a sweatshirt. Her long hair was loose and messy, so she'd obviously not gotten ready yet for the day.
"No bother," Kelly said with a smile. "We just made a pot of coffee. Do you want any?"
Vanessa shook her head. "No thanks. I've had enough already. I wanted to give you an update on the stairs."
"The balustrade was looking great last night," Peter said. "She's almost done, isn't she?"
"Yes. But this morning she was checking the condition of the stairs themselves, and the bottom four steps need to be rebuilt. The wood isn't salvageable."
"Oh, no!" Kelly breathed, reaching over to put a hand on her husband's arm, some sort of instinctive gesture of support that Vanessa found very sweet. "They're those beautiful, wide, nineteenth-century planks. New wood will look terrible."
"It's not going to look terrible," Vanessa said, using the encouraging voice she always used when she was delivering bad news to homeowners. "We're going to get some reclaimed wood to use, and after they're done, you won't be able to tell the difference."
Peter and Kelly were frowning at each other, and Vanessa felt ridiculously guilty.
This wasn't her fault. It was a condition of the house they'd bought and couldn't be avoided. But still...she felt bad just the same.
"Ruth is going to look for the wood today. I'm sure we can make them look perfect."
"How long will it take?" Peter asked, his voice quieter than usual. She didn't know him very well, but she already knew that was the voice he used when he was unhappy. He never yelled or snapped at anyone. He just got very quiet, which in its way was just as unnerving as a raised voice.
"I'm not sure. Once Ruth gets the wood and plans out the work, I'll be able to tell you."
"Harrison is coming this weekend," Kelly murmured to her husband.
"Yeah." Peter cleared his throat. "On Sunday. Do you think they might still be done by the end of the day on Saturday?"
Vanessa tried not to make a face. "We'll do our best. No promises. There are a lot of things that factor in."
"We know."
Kelly and Peter walked out to the hall with Vanessa, and she and Ruth showed them the issues and the specifics of what they would do about them.
"Is it even possible to get it done by Saturday?" Peter asked after he'd studied the bottom stairs for a long time.
He knew a lot about renovation and construction. Both he and Kelly did. They could obviously tell from looking how much work would be involved.
Vanessa met Ruth's eyes for a moment, and then said in a confident voice, "It's definitely possible. We'll do our best to get them done for you."