She sniffed and twisted her hands together until she had enough courage to say, "There is...there is hope."
He sucked in a breath and shot his eyes to her quickly, searchingly.
She nodded at the question in his expression. "There is. You were right-about my using all the other stuff as a way to protect myself, to keep myself from facing how much I want to move on. But I do. Want to move on. I'm just...scared."
With a rough sound in his throat, Joe reached out to pull her into his arms. He held her against his chest in a tight grip.
"I just can't help feeling that wanting to move on means I have to leave Carl and everything I had with him behind."
"You don't," Joe said hoarsely, his arms tightening even more. "I'd never ask you to do that. I thought that being partners in business would be a good thing for both of us, but it's not that important to me. Keep your business exactly as you want, exactly as Carl wanted it, for as long as you want. I won't offer Silas any more jobs. He can keep working only for you. I just don't want to be in competition with you anymore. I don't want us to be rivals. But we can make it work however you want. You don't have to give up what Carl built. It's not about the business to me."
The words surprised her so she pulled away so she could look up into his face.
His expression was naked, vulnerable. "I know it was about business when we first met, but I was an idiot, and I've never stopped regretting how I treated you. It stopped being about the business really soon for me, so I lost you back then, as soon as you found out what an ass I was. I lost what I wanted. I don't want to lose you again, so just tell me what you want to happen with the business."
"I..." Her voice broke so she had to start over. "I don't know. Yet. I need to think about it."
"Okay then." His eyes searched her face. "Do you need to think about...everything else too?"
She knew what he was asking, so she shook her head. "No. I already know."
"And you want..."
"Us." She gave him a wobbly smile. "I want us."
He made another helpless sound in his throat and pulled her into another hug, more emotion in his embrace than even in his kisses from before.
"I know it's too soon," he murmured against her neck. "I know we haven't even dated, but if I don't say it I'm going to explode. I've been falling in love with you for three years now. I can't seem to stop falling. I'm not sure I'm ever going to stop falling now."
Once again, she was surprised, although her heart thrilled with the earnest sound of the words. She pulled away to see his face again.
"I know it's too soon," he said hurriedly, misreading her expression. "Please don't be scared. I'm not expecting anything. I've just been holding back for too long, and now I can't seem to do it anymore." He gave her a twitch of a smile. "Please don't be scared and run away again."
She giggled into his shirt. "I won't. I feel...better about everything now."
"Better?"
"Really good."
"Good?"
His dry, teasing tone made her laugh even harder. "Maybe more than good," she admitted. "But I don't want you getting arrogant and obnoxious again, so you're going to have to settle for good."
He laughed too and tightened his arms around her. "I'm very happy with good. For now, at least."
"You're going to get arrogant and obnoxious again soon. I just know it."
He found her lips with his and kissed her deeply. "I'll try to hold it back for as long as I can, for you."
She pulled his head down into another kiss and then relaxed against him, feeling safe and happy and secure and absolutely exhausted.
"So now what?" he asked, stroking her back the way he had last night.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of tired."
"Me too. I haven't slept for two nights."
"Maybe we should have a nap."
"As long as we can have it together."
That sounded perfectly amenable to Vanessa. Even more than amenable. It was the best idea she'd heard in a really long time.
***
Three hours later, Vanessa rolled over and opened her eyes, with that lovely, rested, comfortable languor that only came after a perfect sleep.
She vaguely realized she was in Joe's apartment, in Joe's bed, and that Joe's big, warm body was beside her.
It didn't send that slice of fear through her that it would have before. She didn't even feel that heavy guilt that had been her old friend for so long.
She smiled as she saw that Joe was awake and looking at her.
He smiled back and released an audible sigh of relief.
"You thought I was going to run away," she said, her voice hoarser than she expected.
He chuckled and turned on his side so he was facing her. "It did cross my mind. You've been running away from me for a long time."
"And you've been acting like it was just a game between us for a long time."
His expression changed as he processed her words. "Right. I have. I'm just as guilty as you are. I didn't want to get my heart broken again."
"What do you mean again?"
"I mean that, even when it was supposed to just be a strategy, back when we first met, I was still crazy about you, and I took it hard when you decided you hated me."
"Well, you were a jerk." She frowned, although she couldn't help but like the idea of him having feelings for her for so long.
"Yes. I was. You have no idea how much I've regretted it ever since. I don't blame you for being hesitant to trust me now."
"Well, it did take a while."
"That's for sure," he groaned.
She laughed at his exaggeratedly aggrieved look.
When his expression changed to something deep and soft, her laughter faded. She squirmed slightly. "What?"
He cleared his throat. "I know we're supposed to be taking things as slow as you want, but I did want to clarify a few things, if you're okay with it. Just so I know the boundaries."
"Boundaries?"
"I don't want to move too fast or expect too much or anything."
"Okay." She felt nervous and excited all at once.
"We're together now, right?"
With a huff of amusement, she said, "Uh, yeah. Definitely."
"So you'll say yes if I ask you out for Saturday night?"
"Probably. Unless I'm busy."
"And it's not out of the bounds of possibility for us to have sex?"
He looked careful, almost self-conscious, which she found adorable, but she tried not to laugh as she said, "That's definitely a possibility."
"I'm not going to be dating or sleeping with anyone else. Is that something I can...I can expect from you?"
She reached over to rub her palm against his thick stubble. "There's no one else for me."
He let out a breath. "Thank God. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had to watch you date someone else. Probably something embarrassing and immature and jackass-ish."
"I'm tempted to try it out, just to see what you'd do."
"Please don't. My poor heart can't take it." He reached out to pull her against him, kissing her softly before he murmured, "If we're clear on that, then I'm good with taking anything else slowly. We don't have to...to say anything or make any sort of...commitment until you're ready."
She smiled against his lips. "Sounds good to me."
"But you know I love you, right?"
"I, uh, kind of got that idea."
"Good." He pressed soft, little kisses just to the side of her mouth. "It won't be too long until you're in love with me too."
It might already be true. She wasn't sure how and when it had happened, but she'd given herself to Joe in a way she hadn't believed could ever happen again.
His ego might get over-inflated if she admitted it quite yet, however. So, instead, she said, "It sounds like the arrogance and obnoxiousness is returning."
"Well, what did you expect? They weren't going to stay away long." He was stroking her body now, and she felt herself responding. She rubbed herself against him, hardly believing that this was real, that she could be with Joe like this now. That it didn't have to be taken away from her.
"I know. I guess I'll live with it," she murmured.
He eased his hand between her thighs. "I think you secretly like it."
That might be true, but she didn't have to admit it. At least, not until he kissed and caressed her until she was crying out his name.
But she would admit anything in that state, so she was convinced it didn't count.
***
Late that afternoon, Vanessa and Joe went back over to Eden Manor. Peter had called them and wanted to talk over the plans for the remaining work while Harrison was still in town.
They arrived together, and Joe reached over to take her hand as they walked to the front door. The old house was really looking alive again with the work on the exterior, and the rebuilt staircase and balustrade shone as they walked in the front door.