One Two Three(38)

I do as I’m told, still hugging the blanket around me. Once I’m settled he gently lifts it off me and places it over my legs.

When his fingertips touch my side, I have to hold in a sob. Not because of my cuts, but because his fingertips are so light and gentle, it’s almost more painful than if he was rough.

“Shhh,” he says. “Try to enjoy it. Try to relax. Close your eyes.”

I take a deep breath and when I let it out, I relax my shoulders and let the weight of my body settle into his lap.

He traces patterns on my skin. Little circles around each of the scars. The stars. And then a long, slow line down my spine that dips below the waistband of the sweats I’m wearing. That sends a chill down my whole body and suddenly, I’m craving more than he’s giving me.

“Mmmm,” I moan. “It feels so good.” He says nothing, but his hand leaves that area and starts playing with my hair. My sex begins to throb as the craving for pleasure takes over. I hate that men can make me feel this way. I hate that even the most vile bastard can stimulate me and make me want more. But I don’t hate that Ark can do this. I don’t hate anything about him. I want more of him.

The front door opens and then closes and a few seconds later JD is standing on the office threshold. “What’s going on in here?” he says, like he hasn’t been missing all day. When I look up at him he smiles. It’s warm and genuine from what I can tell. And then it falters as he notices my back.

“Hand me the camera, JD,” Ark asks, calm as you please. JD takes the few steps over to the desk and unhooks the camera from the computer and brings it back. “Let’s get this on film,” Ark says, turning the camera on so that it makes a whirring sound.

“Why?” I whisper as JD lifts up my legs and takes a seat on the couch. Now I’m lying across both their laps. JD’s fingers immediately wander between my legs, giving me the pleasure Ark denied me a few seconds earlier.

“I want them,” is all Ark says in response.

But I’m gone. I’ve moved past the idea that the images of marks will be sold to sadistic assholes who get off on pain and sex.

People like me.

Because I get off on pain and sex. I crave it. I want it so bad.

JD’s fingers slip inside me as Ark stands up and walks out. Weren’t we going to have a conversation about this… arrangement?

JD’s cock grows beneath my legs. I squirm down a little and place my mouth over his thickness, licking him through his jeans.

“You’re a horny little thing, aren’t you?”

“She’s in trouble, JD,” Ark says as he comes back into the room.

I am. Because I’m lost in the haze of lust. And when Ark kneels down on the floor and begins to clean my welts, the agony of his touch, mixed with JD’s fingers teasing the bundle of nerves between my legs, send me straight into that place between pleasure and pain.

I stop feeling.

All the shame and fear falls away.

I give myself to these men as they tease me. One trying to elicit pleasure as the other unknowingly brings out the pain.

And when I come, I cry again. I lean on JD’s chest and sob as Ark dabs ointment over the open wounds that feel like they will never have enough time to heal before the next one arrives.





“She’s asleep,” I say, putting the ointment away. “And honestly, JD, I think she needs to go. We need to take her to the police—”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” JD looks down at me as I kneel on the floor trying to doctor up this girl. “We’re not taking her to the police. If she wanted to go, that’s where she’d be.”

“We can’t keep her like this. Someone’s been abusing her. Raping her, JD. Holding her prisoner. She ran away.”

“Yeah, and we found her. She’s put her trust in us. We’re not handing her over to the police.”

“Her family—”

“Fuck her family. She’s here, Ark. And as long as she wants to stay, she can.” And then he stands up, cradling her in his arms, and walks towards the door.

“Where the fuck are you going?”

“I’m putting her back in my bed. Where she belongs. If you’re not interested, fine with me. But I am.”

I stand up and walk back over to my desk and take a seat. Why am I so reluctant with this girl?

Because it reminds you of who you are, my mind is screaming.

And she does. Everything about her reminds me of who I am. Why I’m doing all this. What I’ve spent the past four years building.

I go back to Photoshopping my images as I listen for sounds from JD’s room down the hall. I hear nothing. He never comes back. So nothing is resolved. In fact, things are less resolved now than they were this morning when he left.