He waited then asked, “Does it’s fine mean you guys are together again?”
“No, nothing like that.” She peeked inside to discover a small notebook with a pen, tucked in next to a scented candle.
She slipped the package onto the seat of her truck and got back to work, but the entire afternoon, curiosity burned a hole in her brain.
It wasn’t until she got home that she discovered the notebook wasn’t blank. She turned to the first page to find Len had written a single line.
You wore a blue dress to your graduation.
She paused, thinking back. Holy cow, he was right.
She flipped through the pages to see what else he’d written inside. More notes, in his barely discernible handwriting.
You dyed your hair green once. I wanted to call you a leprechaun, but didn’t want you to be upset.
You take relish and ketchup on your hamburger, but no mustard.
She read through them slowly, the tightness in her chest moving into her throat as her eyes grew wet with frustration and fear.
Why did he have to go and be so adorable after she’d decided she didn’t want to have anything to do with him? She put the notebook down without finishing, clicking on the television and trying to lose herself in a mindless sitcom.
She missed him so much every part of her hurt. Being torn apart had only shown exactly how much time with him had meant. And his attempts now seemed to be earnest.
But she wasn’t accepting anything but total surrender. She still wanted him to be…him, it wasn’t that. But she needed everything if she was going to offer him a second chance.
She glanced at the small, very pink notebook, picturing him going into the dollar store to pick it up, and caught herself smiling.
It was so hard to trust, but if she didn’t try, she’d regret it.
Katy was right. Some things were worth fighting for, and her happiness was definitely one of them. As stupid, and as stubborn, and as silent as Len Thompson could be, she’d never been happier than in his arms.
She might be willing to take the chance to get hurt if it meant she got to bask in his fire.
Chapter Fifteen
The email arrived first, followed by the message on her phone. Len trying to set up a date with her for that upcoming Saturday night.
She played back the message just to hear his voice. And then she read the email and replayed the message, and cursed herself for being a fool.
It was dangerous territory, but she had to take the chance. She sent back a note, suggesting he call to make the arrangements.
Her phone rang about twenty seconds later.
“Hey.”
“Hi, Janey. I’ve missed you.”
She just about spit in surprise, his admission was so unexpected. “It’s good to hear you,” was as far as she was willing to give at this moment.
“I don’t have anything fancy planned,” Len confessed. “I want to go somewhere we can talk in private, but I want you to feel comfortable. Not trying to push you too hard, but what I have to say isn’t the kind of thing to discuss in a restaurant.”
She agreed completely, but the fact he’d thought that through and shared his reasons continued to shock her. “You want to go for a walk?”
“Yeah.” He hesitated as if there was a lot more he wanted to say, but the only thing he added was when he’d pick her up. Janey sat and stared at the phone in her hand for the longest time, trembling with hope this would somehow work.
The days until their date seemed endless. Time had never passed so slowly before in her life. Not even when she was little, waiting for Christmas, or her birthday, or any other far off, life changing event.
As if fate was determined to drag out every agonizing second.
She was waiting for him outside the apartment house when he drove up. She didn’t get a chance to open the door before he was out of the driver side and around, standing eagerly at her side, and yet adorably awkward as he seemed not to know where to put his hands.
“You look great,” he said.
His eyes said a whole lot more. He couldn’t stop looking at her as if he’d been starving, and she was the only source of sustenance on the planet.
Len wore a faded pair of jeans, another one of his T-shirts stretched to the limit over his muscular chest. Janey swallowed hard to stop the moisture in her mouth from escaping and making her look like a drooling fool.
“Thanks.”
He caught her fingers in his to help her into the truck, and she was weak enough to not even protest that she could get in on her own. She was already seated when she finally realized which truck he had brought.
“Oh, God, you got it done.” She ran a hand over the smooth leather seat and leaned forward to admire the old-fashioned dashboard.
“This past week,” Len said. He handed her the keys. “Slide over and drive.”
Janey didn’t hesitate. She moved as he crawled in to take her place on the passenger seat. But just because she reacted instantly didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of how big his offer was.
The smile she offered him was very real. “I promise to be really careful with her.”
He nodded, looking forward as he did up his seatbelt. Then he seemed to check for a second, and turned to face her. “You’re always careful with the things that are important to me. I trust you.”
Oh, well. An instant rush of emotion hit at his words. Janey paused in the middle of putting the key to the ignition. “Are you going to keep surprising me all night long?”
“Are you good surprised or bad surprised? Because that will make a difference how I answer,” he drawled softly.
She took a deep breath. “Good surprised, so far.”
He nodded and sat back and stared ahead at the street.
This time it didn’t seem as if he was ignoring her. More as if he was giving her some space to figure out where everything was and not feel pressure as she started the engine and pulled into the traffic.
A little stiff in the suspension, but Janey was enjoying herself too much to complain.
When she drove the truck into the parking lot nearby the bonfire pit, it was Len’s turn to give her a surprised glance.
She held the keys to him. “I haven’t been back here since the start of summer, and I kind of missed most of the bonfire that night. Do you mind?”
Len shook his head. He pulled a box of matches from the glove box. “Give me a couple minutes and I’ll get a fire going.” He gestured to the back of the truck. “Let me grab the box I’ve got back there.”
Janey followed him, sitting on the bench as he fiddled with kindling and newspaper, getting a flame going before he leaned back. He eyed the bench across from her, and the one to her side.
“I can’t believe how awkward this is.” Janey adjusted her position to leave room for him beside her, facing him as he settled his bulk within touching distance, but not too close. “We’ve been around each other for years, and we’ve been a whole lot more than friends. We should be able to handle this.”
Len reached slowly for her hands, as if hesitant to touch her without permission. “Just because we’ve known each other for a long time doesn’t mean I can’t screw up. I don’t want to add any more mistakes to my ledger.”
His fingers tangled in hers, his thumb rubbing slowly over the back of her knuckles.
“I can handle awkward. You just need…”
But there was no just about it. It was so much she needed, as long as he was willing to give.
“I’ve always liked you,” Len confessed. “I mean, when you were little it was more about enjoying how much you annoyed my brothers, and how much Katy loved you. And when you got older, not only an annoying teenager, I always thought it was like watching happiness in motion every time you stepped into a room.”
Janey let her breath out slowly. “Wow. You’re starting right in on the hard-hitting stuff, aren’t you?”
He turned to look at the flames trickling around the log in the bonfire pit. “I don’t quite know what I need to do to make everything right. I want to show you even though I made a mistake, I intend to fix it.”
She nodded slowly before realizing he couldn’t see her. Then, the momentary pause was fine because it gave her a chance to put some order to the questions she wanted answers to. Only when she started thinking about them, they all twirled in a circle and refused to settle in any logical order.
Why did he buy her house? Why had he started going out with her, or why had he resisted going out with her in the first place?
“Len, it’s not as much a matter of fixing anything. It’s more like us both knowing what’s important to us, because if those things don’t line up, there’s no use in us being together.”
“You’re important to me,” he insisted. His gaze met hers, dark brown catching hold of her as he refused to look away. “I was scared to let you in. To put anyone into my life who I might lose.”
A flicker of understanding struck. “Your mom?”
Len swallowed, then nodded. “When she was in the hospital, those last days, we took turns making sure she was never alone. Not usually Troy or Katy, but me and the older boys. I didn’t have a lot of other things going on, so I went after school. My dad would come after supper, and we’d sit with her and talk. Maybe play a little cards. But I watched her slowly fade away.”
“It must’ve been terrible.” She’d been old enough to remember the sadness in the Thompson household, and how Katy decided she would take over all the jobs that her mom couldn’t do anymore.