“William is a total asshole, Liv. You are better off without him.” Thomas spilled a little wine as he refilled my glass but I was too drunk to care.
“Well Sophia is a nightmare. She treats you terrible.” I moved over on the couch so that Thomas could set next to me. “You’re a great guy, Thomas. You can do so much better.”
“So can you, Liv.” Thomas tapped his wine glass against mine. “To us doing better.”
“Cheers.” I took a big gulp of wine. “You know, I used to have a crush on you back in high school.”
“No way.” Thomas shook his head. “I was a huge dork and you wanted nothing to do with me. I’m the one that had a giant crush on you.”
“Pssh.” I was at that point of drunkenness where full words became a challenge. “You should’ve asked me out. I totally would’ve said yes.”
Thomas squinted at me. “What if I asked you out right now?”
“Now? Me?” My voice was squeaky. I honestly hadn’t thought of Thomas that way for years. “I think I’d probably say yes.”
It was true that Thomas was a great guy. One of the best guys, actually. He was also cute, smart and funny. Any girl would be lucky to have him. And that’s what I told myself as he leaned over to kiss me.
It was strange at first. Thomas was my best friend, and we were about to completely alter the course of our relationship. But I was too drunk and too hurt to care. All I wanted right then was to feel close to someone. Thomas would do just fine for that purpose.
His lips were rough on mine and unfamiliar. It took awhile for us to learn each other’s topography. When he put his hands under my shirt, I actually winced. I wasn’t ready to let another man tread on William’s territory. I wasn’t ready to accept that he was gone. But fortunately, Thomas didn’t notice my wince and I was able to push away those feelings.
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” I suggested, afraid that if we didn’t move things along I might lose my nerve.
Thomas seemed just as determined to make it happen. He pulled me to my feet and hurried us into the next room. I stripped my clothes off in a drunken stupor and Thomas did the same. Neither of us was under the illusion that this was anything other than a forget-about-your-ex fuck.
“Wow,” Thomas said when he finally noticed my naked body. “Liv, I had no idea your body was so rockin’.”
“Gee, thanks.” It was such a Thomas thing to say that it made me smile. I tried to return the compliment, “You’ve got some good things going on as well.”
“Okay, that was awkward.” Thomas scratched nervously at the back of his neck. “Do you still want to do this?”
“I think we owe it to ourselves,” I said. I wanted this to work. Being with Thomas made sense. We were best friends. I spent my holidays with his family. He knew all my darkest secrets. Being with Thomas would be simple. I could get used to simple.
My words weren’t quite enough to convince him, so I brushed my body against him, letting him become accustomed to the idea of us together. I moved my hands lightly over his chest and kissed him slowly. His body moved against me and his hands slid up my sides and hesitated just before reaching my breasts. I rubbed my leg against his and kissed him harder. Thomas decided to go for it and as he caressed my breasts, I felt his erection grow against stomach.
I pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top, letting my hair fall over us as I kissed him again and again. I was trying so desperately to feel for him the way I had felt for William. To want him- all of him. To want to feel him in every nerve in my body. But it wasn’t going to happen and we both knew it.
“Liv. This isn’t working.” Thomas turned his head away from me and I reluctantly sat up, still straddling him.
“I know.” I put a tender hand on his chest. “I really wanted this to work.”
He smiled. “Me, too.”
“We should probably put some clothes on,” I said, gesturing to our naked bodies.
“Just because I’m not buying the goods doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get to look,” he joked as I slid off him.
I was about to make an equally lame joke about wanting my money back, but my door buzzer interrupted us. “Who the hell is that?”
“Did we order a pizza? Because I wouldn’t say no to a pizza right now.” Thomas made no effort to get dressed as he tucked his hands behind his head.
I pulled on my underwear and Thomas’ faded Chicago Cubs t-shirt. I assumed whoever was ringing my buzzer had the wrong apartment, but I had to go downstairs to find out.
Thomas stopped me. “What if it’s a crazy stalker? Let me take care of it.” He pulled on his boxers and jeans and flexed his biceps. “Never send a woman to do a man’s work.”