One Night to Risk It All(92)

                “Yes,” he agreed, his tone overly serious. Typical Ajax. “I was the worst.”

                “Hey, Jax,” Rachel said.

                “Yes?”

                “Did you say anything to Alex at the wedding?”

                “No,” he said, frowning. “But you have to know, I never trusted him. I’m sadly not surprised by the outcome.”

                “But I am. I spent months with him. I was... He was my lover. We’re having a baby. I felt like I knew him better than that and none of this really makes sense to me. So maybe he was that good of an actor. Or maybe there’s a little more to all of this than it seems. So I thought I would ask.”

                “He didn’t say anything. He...looked at me, but unless he has some sort of unrequited longing for me, I don’t see how that’s valid.”

                “Yeah, that’s not his problem. Trust me.”

                She laid her head back down on the couch.

                “Another movie?” Leah asked, her tone pitying. Good. Rachel deserved pity. She was alone. And with child.

                “Yes. And cake. Is there cake?”

                Ajax gave her a look that mirrored his wife’s. “I’ll get you some.”

                She took a deep breath and stared at the TV, not really absorbing what was happening. She was miserable. She was in love with a man who didn’t deserve her love. A man who needed love like a flower in the desert needed water.

                Alex was drying up inside. Dying. And he wouldn’t get help. He was determined to embrace all that anger and push everyone who cared about him away.

                And yeah, he’d really messed her life up and it felt horrible. But he’d done some good things for her, too. And maybe rather than melting she should try and remember it.

                She put her thumbnail in her mouth and started gnawing on it. “You know, Leah, I don’t really want to watch a movie.”

                “Do you still want cake?”

                “Yes, oh yes, I want cake.”

                “Good. Cake you shall have. What do you want to do?”

                “Talk maybe?” Rachel asked. “I think...I think we spent too many years not talking.”

                “My fault, Rach, really,” Leah said, frowning. “I was lusting after your man. That made things hard.”

                Rachel shook her head. “Sure, there’s that. But...if we were closer, wouldn’t I have noticed?”

                “I don’t know. But I’m not in the mood to blame you for it. Anyway, Ajax and I worked out. So it’s fine.”

                “I was supposed to make sure I wasn’t a bad influence on you, you know.”

                Leah laughed. “You? A bad influence on me? You’re so sweet and...sweet. And I’m not. Never have been.”

                “Well, I wasn’t for a while.” She thought of drunk nights in clubs. Driving too fast. “I was a pretty big partier for a while. But you were a kid. You wouldn’t remember. Dad was always on hand to cover up for me. Mom was always on hand to disapprove.”