One Night to Risk It All(82)

                “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, undoing the top button on his shirt. He’d been conducting most of his business via Skype for the past couple of months, when possible, so even though he didn’t leave the house, the video chats made it so he still had to dress up.

                But he wasn’t wearing a tie in his own home.

                “Of what?”

                “The seduction. Because that’s clearly what’s going on here.”

                “I told them. My sister, my father. About the baby.”

                He paused, squeezing tight on the button he’d been about to push through its hole, the blunt plastic edge biting into his finger. “And?” If they’d hurt her...if they’d said anything to her to make her feel like she’d dishonored them in some way...he feared his actions would be less than noble. Possibly less than legal.

                Because Rachel was his. And no one was ever to hurt her.

                “They were...surprisingly calm. But I think relieved because I explained why I did what I did. I mean, it’s awkward having to say to your dad ‘I met a man and I was overcome by attraction to him’ but I managed. To be honest, I think he preferred it to ‘Dad, I put the car in a ditch while I was drunk’ or ‘Dad, I gave some guy a BJ and he videoed it.’”

                “I’m certain he did,” Alex said, his throat tightening. He wished he could get his hands on the scumbag who’d done that to her, that was for sure.

                But then he really would do something illegal.

                “Yes, well...I feel like I can’t worry anymore. About letting everyone down.”

                “Is that right?”

                “Yes. I need to worry about me. And us. And the baby.”

                “Not so scared of the baby now?”

                “Oh, no, terrified. Utterly terrified. But I feel a little bit more like I can breathe again. Actually, I feel like I can breathe for the first time in a long time. Because... Because if I really am okay—as I am, I mean—if I really don’t just have to be a clone of my mother? Well then maybe I can focus on being a good mom because I won’t be working so hard to keep my façade in place. Does that make sense?”

                “As much sense as any of our issues make.”

                She laughed, so sweet and beautiful in a lace nightgown, blond hair spilling over her shoulder, a seductress. Giggling. There was something so perfect about it. Something so free.

                He wanted to capture it, hold it forever.

                But then...then she wouldn’t be so free. Then she would be in a cage fashioned by him, rather than one built by Ajax or her father.

                The thought unsettled him. And yet it didn’t diminish the need to hold her to him. To claim her.

                “I guess that’s true. I mean, none of it makes sense to anyone but ourselves, right? In here, though—” she put her hand on her chest “—it’s been the realest thing in my life. Trying to deal with that critical voice, trying to best it, to be better. While secretly dying of boredom. I haven’t even been able to be myself inside. I haven’t even had emotions that belonged to me because...I was told so often I was wrong.”

                “I let go of emotions because it was the safest thing.” Except he hadn’t let go of them, not truly. Anger, rage and that impotent longing of a young boy for some kind of affection...it was all still there. And he hated it.