It was something she had a knack for, and she had the trust fund to start up. Plus it kept her mind off all the reality she had crushing down on her. And oh man, there was a lot of reality.
For starters, she was growing some real, serious feelings for Alex, and that was hard to deal with. It was scary, especially when so much about their future felt scary. Then there was the fact that no one knew what was going on. The fact that she would have to share.
Then there was the wedding business.
Another big wedding. Just a couple months after she’d ditched the original one. The whole thing made her feel a little weird.
Or a lot weird.
Still, she had a phone call to make.
She pulled up Leah’s number in her contacts and pressed Call, taking a deep breath and sitting down on the couch.
“Hi, Leah,” she said when her sister picked up.
“Rachel! I haven’t talked to you in...too long.”
“I know. I’m sorry, but I’m sort of working my stuff out, and I didn’t really want to interrupt you working your stuff out.”
Leah sighed. “Yes, there was stuff. It’s good now, though. I love him, Rachel,” there was a slight pause, “and that’s partly why we haven’t been as close as we should have been these past few years. Because I always loved him. That’s my fault, not yours. It’s hard to be close to someone when they have the man that you love.”
“You loved him?”
“Always,” she heard a catch in her sister’s voice. “I’ve always loved him.”
A tear slid down Rachel’s cheek. It was so easy to cry these days. “I’m so glad you married him, Leah, because I didn’t love him. I never did. And if I’d had any idea that you did...I would never have put us all through this.”
“It worked out. More than worked out. I’m so happy with him.”
“I’m just... I’m glad. I’m so glad.”
“Okay, now you have to tell me about Alex, because I’ve been worried about you. We’ve been worried about you. Ajax, too.”
Rachel smiled. “Yes, he would be. Of course.”
“And Alex...he’s Alexios Christofides.”
Rachel hesitated. “He is.”
“Did you know?”
She swallowed. “Not at first. But I did when I ran out of the wedding. I mean, that’s the thing that I sort of need to tell you all.” There was no easy or painless way to say it. So she just soldiered on. “I’m pregnant. Alex and I are having a baby.”
“Oh... Oh, my gosh. I don’t know what to say. I’ll make you a candy bouquet for your shower.”
Rachel laughed. “Oh, wow. Candy bouquet. Thank you. I don’t...I don’t think I want a shower, actually. I think I’m going crazy.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not... He doesn’t... He wants to marry me because of the baby. I said yes. I finally said yes because he’s the father of my child and there’s no other man I want to marry. So yes seemed like the thing to say. But now I’ve said it and it just feels... I’m scared. About all of it. Having a husband who doesn’t love me. Having a baby when I can’t remember the last time I held one.”