‘That was generous of you.’
He heard the note of disdain. ‘It seemed the least I could do,’ he said coldly.
‘So you never planned to play a role in the child’s life?’
‘No,’ he said bluntly, refusing to feel guilty about it. She could judge him all she wanted, but he’d been convinced at the time he had nothing to offer. It had seemed easier and cleaner to pay for his mistake and step quietly away. Because that was what Marlena’s child had been to him. A mistake.
Until the night he’d been called to the maternity hospital by a nurse who had seen his name on the insurance paperwork and wrongly assumed he was Marlena’s partner. The sight of the squirming body in the basinet, its delicate little fist pressed against its mouth, had shocked him to the core. The tiny baby boy had been undersized, the nurse had said. Nate had never seen anything so fragile, so helpless before and he’d felt...something. Something he’d never have believed himself capable of feeling.
‘It was Walter’s suggestion that I get a DNA test, to confirm paternity,’ he said, remembering the arguments he’d had with his attorney on the subject, a cruel reminder of his own stupidity. Once he’d seen the boy, some foolish part of him had been convinced the baby had to be his. He’d even contacted Marlena with the intention of setting up visitation rights.
‘The test showed a 99.8% probability that I was not the father.’ He kept his voice neutral, denied the echo of pain and disbelief. ‘Marlena hadn’t been as upfront as she should have been about when the child was conceived.’
* * *
Tess baulked at the quietly spoken words. ‘Marlena sounds like a woman who could do with a jolly good slap,’ she stated, shocked that anyone could be quite so calculating.
Nate’s head lifted.
‘Although right about now I’d like to give you one too,’ Tess added, but the enmity she knew she ought to feel refused to come.
He’d called a helpless child ‘a mistake’. Had openly admitted that he hadn’t intended to be a father to it. For that alone she ought to be able to despise him. And she would have, but for the hollow note in his voice when he’d spoken about the results of the DNA test, and the expression on his face. He hadn’t looked pleased, or vindicated by the evidence of Marlena’s deception. He’d looked hurt.
‘I guess that makes us even,’ he said.
It wasn’t an apology, but she would take it. For now, because what he had revealed about his past was so much better than what she had feared.
‘It was cruel of her to lie to you like that,’ she said.
‘Especially as she didn’t need to,’ he said, making it clear he was speaking about Tess as well as Marlena. ‘I gave her the money she needed anyway.’
‘Why did you do that?’ she asked, not sure where the twinge of jealousy came from. If he still had feelings for the woman, why should it matter to her?
He shrugged. ‘Why make the child suffer? The boy’s father had dumped her as soon as she told him about the pregnancy. She didn’t have any other means of support, which was why she’d tried to trick me.’
He said the words dismissively, but Tess wondered how many other men would support another man’s child in those circumstances. Hardly any.
‘Just so you know, Nate,’ she said, deciding it was way past time they cleared the air completely. ‘I’m not Marlena and I’m not after your money.’
‘I know that, Tess.’ The reluctant smile that curved his lips made her heart tumble over in her chest. It was a shame he didn’t smile more often.
‘Just so you know,’ he said, ‘I never had any intention of making you get rid of the baby.’
‘I know that too now,’ she said, echoing his words as relief flowed through her. Thank goodness, she’d been wrong about that. But that didn’t really alter the fact that he’d made it fairly clear he had no desire to be a father, and she did want to be a mother.
‘The way I see it,’ she continued, ‘I’ve made the decision to have this baby, so it’s my responsibility to bring it up, both financially and emotionally. There’s absolutely no need for you to feel any responsibility towards it. I think that’s fair.’
The reluctant smile disappeared. ‘I don’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘A child needs a father.’
The simple, stoic words surprised her. And she had no idea how to respond to the statement, because she had firsthand knowledge of how right he was. How desperately had she needed her own father, after her mother’s death? How much had she yearned for his approval and affection? She’d planned to protect her child by shielding it from a man who didn’t want it, and couldn’t love it. But did she really have the right to make that decision?