Guilt tells me I shouldn’t, but I can’t help feeling quietly happy by his question. He’s falling, too, just as hard as I am. I embrace his uncertainty and cuddle him tightly, locking my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips, like I’m trying to squeeze some reassurance into him. ‘I’m only going away if you send me,’ I say, because I think that’s what he means. I couldn’t possibly turn to dust.
‘There’s something I’d like to share with you.’
‘What?’ I ask, remaining where I am with my face stuck to his neck.
‘Let’s get washed and I’ll show you.’ He reaches behind his neck and pulls my arms away, forcing me to vacate my comfort zone. ‘You’ll be the first.’
‘First?’
‘The first person to see.’ He’s turning me in his arms, therefore turning my inquisitive face away, too.
‘See?’
His chin rests on my shoulder. ‘I love your curiosity.’
‘You make me curious,’ I accuse, pushing my cheek onto his lips. ‘What are you going to show me?’
‘You’ll see,’ he teases, releasing me.
I turn around and face him again, seeing him sliding down, dunking his head and rubbing some shampoo through it, before rinsing and following it up with some conditioner.
I make myself comfortable at the other end of the bath and watch as he works the conditioner through his waves. ‘You use conditioner?’
He pauses with his massaging hands and studies me carefully for a few moments before he speaks. ‘I have very untamed hair.’
‘Me too.’
‘Then you must feel my pain.’ He slides back down the bath and rinses his untamed waves, while I grin like an idiot. He’s embarrassed.
When he surfaces, I’m still grinning, and he rolls his eyes at me as he pushes himself up, my gaze lifting with him forever until he’s towering over me and I’m staring at his soaking, naked perfection.
‘I’ll leave you to wash your untamed mane.’ He’s not smiling, but I can tell he wants to.
‘Thank you, kind sir.’ I continue to admire his wet nakedness as he takes the steps from the bath, his butt cheeks tensing and swelling delightfully. ‘Nice buns,’ I say quietly to myself, slipping further into the bubbles.
He turns slowly and cocks his head to the side. ‘I beg you don’t adopt your grandmother’s terminology.’
I burn bright red, and with nowhere else to escape my embarrassment, I disappear under the water.
When I’m finished taming my own wild locks with conditioner, I reluctantly leave the warm serenity of Miller’s colossal bath and dry off. Ensuring I’ve emptied the tub, rinsed the bubbles away and tidied up the bathroom after me, I pad into his bedroom and find a pair of black boxer shorts and a grey T-shirt spread neatly on the bed. I smile to myself as I dress, his boxer shorts barely staying up on my waist, his T-shirt completely swamping me, but they smell of Miller so I tolerate the annoying need to hold the shorts up as I go in search of him.
I find him in the kitchen, looking breathtaking in his own pair of black boxers and a T-shirt to match the one he has picked for me. Seeing Miller without a perfect suit adorning his perfect body is a rarity, but the casual edge that his casual attire puts on him whenever I do is always welcome. I’m beginning to resent his suits, seeing them as a mask that he hides behind.
‘We match,’ I say, pulling up my boxers.
‘So we do.’ He approaches me and runs his fingers through my wet tendrils before bringing them to his nose and inhaling deeply.
‘I should call my grandmother,’ I say, closing my eyes and absorbing his closeness – his scent, his heat . . . his everything. ‘I don’t want her to worry.’
He releases me and arranges my hair, staring at me thoughtfully.
‘Are you okay?’ I ask.
‘Yes, I apologise.’ He shakes himself from his daydream. ‘I was just thinking how lovely you look in my clothes.’
‘They’re a bit big,’ I point out, glancing down at the material swamping me.
‘They’re perfect on you. Call your grandmother.’
Once I’m done checking in with Nan, my nape is taken lightly and I’m led over to the docking station where his iPhone is kept. He presses a few buttons before leading me from the kitchen without a word. The xx’s ‘Angels’ joins us, soft and hypnotising in the background, seeping quietly through the integrated speakers. We pass Miller’s bedroom and turn left, then he unlocks a door and pushes me gently into a large room.
‘Wow!’ I gasp, stumbling to a stop on the threshold. ‘Oh wow!’