One More Chance(11)

“Is she with Mase now?” I asked, scanning the room for where I’d left my keys when I got home from work earlier. If she was in Texas, I would get on the next flight out.

“Grant. No. Stop. Listen to me,” Rush said in a sharp tone.

I swung my gaze back to his. “If she is in Texas, I’m going to motherfucking Texas! You can’t stop me. The cops can’t stop me. No one CAN. FUCKING. STOP. ME!” I roared.

“You need to listen to what I have to say first. It’s important.” Rush’s tone had turned commanding. Thing was, I didn’t give a rat’s ass. I was going to see Harlow.

“She can tell me what’s going on. I’m going to Texas,” I told him with enough determination that he knew I was serious. I had to get to her.

“There are things you need to know,” he said, raising his voice over mine.

“All I need to know is where she is. That’s all I need to fucking know!” I snarled. He was wasting my time. I had to get my keys and get out of here.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake! I didn’t want to just come out and lay this on you, but you’re so fucking stubborn!” he yelled as I turned away from him. “She’s pregnant. Harlow is pregnant, and she won’t get an abortion, and giving birth could . . .”

He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to. I knew what the rest of that sentence was. My knees gave way, and I grabbed the back of the chair in front of me while sheer terror squeezed my lungs and heart until I couldn’t take a breath.

Harlow couldn’t be pregnant. She couldn’t be. Oh, God, no. I couldn’t lose her. I needed her to live. Even if she wouldn’t talk to me, I needed her alive on this earth.

“Mase is worried. She’s determined to have this child. Mase said she refuses to tell you because she knows you won’t agree with her. You’ll want her to get an abortion. She’s unwilling to even consider it.”

“No. She can’t do this. I can’t lose her,” I said, shaking my head, refusing to accept this. I had to get to Texas. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Rush called out.

“Texas.”

“I didn’t say she was there. I said I’d talked to Mase,” Rush said as he came after me.

“Then where is she? I won’t lose her. She can’t do this.” I was yelling so loudly that Rush couldn’t help wincing.

“You need a plan,” Rush said, grabbing my arm in a firm grip. “Mase told me more. If you’ll sit and calm your ass down, I can tell you everything. Being prepared is the only way you can get through to her.”

He was right. I hated waiting. I hated not being able to get to her, but he was right. I had to be levelheaded. If I was going to save her, I had to be ready when I saw her. Going after her in a wild panic wasn’t going to do anything but send her running to a new hiding place.

“Does she feel OK? Did he say if she was healthy? Is she sick?” I asked.

“She’s fine. Mase is keeping her close. Other than missing you, she’s doing OK.”

She missed me? All she had to do was call me. I’d be there. But then, why would she trust me? After what I’d done to her. The self-hatred inside me grew and twisted into an ugly ball of fury. I could be with her right now if I’d handled it right. If I hadn’t been so selfish and scared. She wouldn’t be facing this alone right now.

“I call . . . I call every damn day. All she has to do is answer.”

Rush patted me on the back. “She’s scared, too. She’s just scared for different reasons.”

How could she even consider this? Her heart . . . she was so fragile. “I don’t understand why she would do this. She knows she can’t.”

Rush sank into the leather chair close to him and let out a weary sigh. “The baby is real to her. It’s inside her. She has a connection with it already. It’s a mother thing. I can’t say that I know how you feel, because the moment I found out Blaire was pregnant, I wanted that baby. It was our baby. It was a part of us. But Blaire was connected to Nate. Even then. I don’t think I felt quite what she felt until they put him in my arms. And . . .” Rush paused and shook his head, then looked directly at me. “I could never choose between Nate and Blaire. Now that I have him, I couldn’t comprehend not having him. Giving him up. And if Harlow feels even a small portion of that already, I get it. I understand completely.”

His situation had been different. Completely different. He had never had to face the possibility of Blaire dying. God! I couldn’t even think about it. It hurt too damn bad. “You,” I said, pointing at him. “You have no idea what this feels like. You were never faced with losing Blaire. Of her . . .” I couldn’t say it aloud. It would shatter me.