"What would be the point? It's done, and it's over. The experience has made me more cautious and maybe a little fearful. But I'm determined to get over that rather than let the experience stifle me. Believe it or not, you helped me to see the importance in regaining my life. I'm sorry you can't seem to regain yours."
He turned his attention back to the monument of destruction. "We should return to the palace now. And again I remind you not to mention this to anyone. Very few people know about my past."
"Does that include my sister?"
"Yes. Adan is bound to his promise to me not to speak of it with anyone, including his wife."
"Don't worry," she said. "Your secrets are all safe with me. Good luck carrying them to your grave."
As she walked away, Sunny realized all too well that nothing she said to Rayad would ever break through his resolve to remain static in his life. If he chose to remain immersed in his grief and his search for retaliation, so be it.
He could never be the man for her, and that made her incredibly sad. Even worse, he would never let himself love again, and she couldn't save him from that fate. She wouldn't even try.
* * *
"Well?"
After a silent drive to the palace, and an uncomfortable family dinner, Sunny had retired to her suite to unpack and get some sleep. That plan had been thwarted by her sister, who now hovered over her like a mother hen. "Well what, Piper?"
"Did you enjoy your time with Rayad?"
Until today, she could confirm that had been the case. "It was nice while it lasted."
Piper sent her a suspicious look. "Did the two of you...you know."
Unfortunately, she did know what her twin was intimating and decided to throw her a bone. "Yes, we did you know. Several times. Are you happy now?"
"Question is, Sunny, are you happy? I'm thinking the answer is no."
She tossed the last of her clothes onto the bureau and her tote in a nearby chair. "Look, we had a good time, it was great, but it's over. End of story."
Piper perched on the edge of the mattress and stared like a hawk scoping out its prey. "If he did something to hurt you, tell me, and I'll have Adan deal with him."
Sunny shoved the bag aside and practically collapsed into the chair. "He didn't do anything to hurt me, so I don't need you to ask your husband to beat him up. We're both adults, and we knew whatever transpired was only temporary. Now if you don't mind, it's late, and I'd like to get to bed."
Her sister put on a stellar pout and pushed up from the bed. "Okay. I know when I'm not wanted. But I want all the dirty details before you leave in two weeks, even if I have to force you to talk."
As much as she hated to drop a bad news bomb, Sunny felt she had no choice. "On that subject," she began as she stood, "I'm probably going to leave in a couple of days. I'm ready to get back to work."
"We've barely had time to talk, Sunny. Won't you reconsider staying at least a week?"
She might if she didn't have to face Rayad on a daily basis. Then again, he could be leaving shortly to return to his mission of death and destruction. "I'll think about it as soon as I get a good night's sleep."
Piper came to her feet. "Fine. I'll leave as soon as you answer one more question."
Great. Just great. "Make it quick."
"Where exactly did you stay?"
In a mystical cavern in the company of a mysterious, tortured, gorgeous man. "Some primitive place near a small village."
"No room service?"
She'd been serviced, and often. "Definitely not. There was only one bed, but it was decent."
"I'm surprised you even noticed the bed when you had a hunk occupying it with you. If he's anything like Adan, you didn't even need a bed."
With that, Piper grinned and rushed out of the room before Sunny could launch a verbal retaliation.
Weary and worn out, Sunny took her second shower of the day, brushed her teeth and hair, dressed in her favorite blue silk sleep shirt and slipped beneath the covers. Her mind wouldn't seem to shut off and allow her to sleep, so she turned on the bedside lamp and attempted to read the mystery novel she'd brought with her. She couldn't concentrate, thanks to the mental slideshow featuring wonderful moments with Rayad. At times the recollections caused her face to flush, and other memories made her heartsick. At least an hour passed before she finally gave in to the lure of sleep.
"I need you..."
Sunny came awake with a start, at first believing she'd been dreaming. But as her vision came into focus, she saw her dream man standing next to the bed, dressed in only a pair of navy pajama bottoms. "What are you doing here?"
"I need to be next to you one last night, though I know I do not deserve it."
He looked so lost and forlorn, she scooted over and lifted the covers. "Okay, but just so you know, we're only going to sleep."
"I understand," he said as he slid into the bed beside her.
As he stacked his hands behind his head, she rolled to her side to face him. "Too much on your mind to rest?" she asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes."
"I had the same problem. I'd just drifted off right before you arrived."
"My apologies for waking you." He sent her a fast glance before going back to inspecting the ceiling. "If you wish me to leave, I will do so."
"I wish you would talk to me, Rayad. Let me in, and let me know what you're thinking."
He exhaled a rough sigh. "It would be too difficult."
"It would be cathartic."
When he failed to respond, Sunny assumed he was bent on ignoring her suggestion. Then suddenly he said, "My code name is Lion."
She hadn't expected that revelation. "Okay. Why are you telling me this now?"
"Layth means lion. I took it in honor of my son."
She inched closer to his side, drawn to his undeniable grief. "Did the name suit him as well as it does you?"
His ensuing smile looked so very sad. "It did. He was a very brave boy. Highly intelligent. Always in motion and into trouble at times. Yet he had a very caring side to him. He inherited that from his mother."
"He inherited some of that from you."
The comment drew his gaze. "How can you believe that when you know who I am and what I am capable of doing?"
She wanted to scream from frustration. "It's not fundamentally who you are, Rayad. It's a bitter force that drives you to try to be that man. You'll never be able to succeed because believe it or not, there's still too much good in you."
"I am beyond redemption," he said as he reached over and snapped off the light.
Against better judgment, Sunny settled her cheek on his chest. "You're so very wrong. It's obvious you loved your wife, and I suspect she loved you, too."
"You are correct. I loved her the first time I set eyes on her."
On one hand, Sunny wasn't sure she wanted to know all the details. On the other, she had the opportunity to finally glimpse the real man behind the steely exterior. "When did the two of you meet?"
"The night our fathers announced our betrothal."
Incredible. An arranged marriage that had gone right, until fate took a wrong turn. "How old were you when you married?"
"I was nineteen, and she had barely turned eighteen. Layth was born two years later. That was the most monumental day of my life." He paused and drew in a breath before continuing. "I remember how it felt the first time I held my son in my arms. I recall his first smile and the day he took his first steps when I returned from a month-long mission. For many years I have rejected those memories, but lately I cannot."
"You shouldn't deny them, Rayad. Letting yourself remember will help you finally heal."
"The loss has left a wound in my soul that will never heal."
"Have you ever cried for them?" she asked.
"No. I feared if I did, I would never stop. No man should live long enough to bury his beloved wife and child."
The slight break in his voice made Sunny want to cry for him. Instead, she moved closer and held him tighter. They stayed that way for a long time, until Rayad pulled her to him and kissed her with all the passion she had come to know in his arms. Before long, they were naked and touching each other without restraint. And when it came time to consummate their temporary, troubled union one final time, Sunny let go of her own fears and pulled him on top of her. She relished his weight, the closeness of his powerful body as he moved inside her. She welcomed her climax and loved the way he said her name when he found his own release. She loved him, period, with all her heart and soul.
In the aftermath, Rayad was so still, she thought he'd fallen asleep. But then he shifted back beside her, draped his arm across her abdomen and laid his cheek against her shoulder. That's when she felt the dampness on her flesh. That's when she knew he had finally given in to the tears that were long overdue. That's when she started to hope that maybe, just maybe, the healing had truly begun.