One Day You'll Be Mine(56)

I nodded weakly. I took a sip of the watered down soda that was almost gone from my glass. “I don’t understand where this side of him came from.”

“You never knew he was gay?”

“No. He never told me about any attraction to other men. And he still won’t. If I called him right now, he wouldn’t admit to this. He has our son thinking they’re just friends – so he’s hiding it in plain sight.”

Pulling closer to me, Desmond wrapped both arms around me. “Poor love. That’s a lot to handle.” He kissed me on the cheek. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“That’s why I said I’m damaged,” I said. “You see this amazing woman, and I see a disaster.”

“You’re far from a disaster,” he said. “But let’s say you were. If so, you’d be a beautiful disaster.”

“Are you seriously still charming me right now?” I said. “I just got out of a twenty year relationship. I’m trying to keep my heart open to something new, but it feels like… maybe I just suck at relationships. I’m thirty four, I’m unemployed, I’m starting over, and I’m an emotional mess.

“Even now,” I continued, “I’m in your big, strong arms, gushing to myself about how you look like Adam Levine, yet still wishing my husband wanted to touch me and call me amazing and refer to me as ‘love’ the way you are.”

He kissed my cheek again. “I love your candor, Nat. It’s heartbreaking to experience your life crumble. I know, because the same thing happened to me.”

“Your wife ran away with a gay lover?”

“No… not quite. But I was in love. I was devoted. I wanted to marry her.” He paused, reflectively. “We set a date, picked a venue, everything. And she decided, after six years together, that she wasn’t interested anymore. She didn’t talk to me. She didn’t confront me. She got cold feet on our wedding day. Never showed up. I came home that day to a note on the door and the key on the counter. She took every trace of her with her – including pictures of us.”

I gasped. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m not,” he replied. “I don’t know where she is, but she’s not welcome in my mind or space anymore. I’ve moved on. I’m ready for something real and lasting.”

“I thought I had real and lasting… I guess I was wrong.”

“It’s never too late,” he whispered. He tilted my chin toward him and leaned in. Sweet heat blazed a trail across my lips as he pressed his against mine. I felt myself pulled into his embrace, and that moan escaped; the same moan that brought itself forth any time he touched me in a manner my body craved but had not been given over the past few months trying to work things out in my failed marriage.

But I snapped to my senses pushed him back gently.

“Des…” I shook my head. “I… I can’t.”

“Too soon?”

I nodded. “My divorce was still pending. Even if my ex-husband’s moved on, I can’t allow myself to do anything until I know the divorce is final.”

I knew my honesty killed the mood. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re fine. I understand completely.” He lifted my hand to his lips, kissing it and sending that moan through my lips again.

“I love when you make that noise for me,” he murmured. “If I’m lucky, one day you’ll make that noise for me on a regular basis.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, Natalia. Really. Right now, you’re dealing with a crazy situation. You have a lot on your plate. You’re rebuilding from scratch. But I’m not planning on going anywhere. I want to stand by your side, and support you in any way I can, even if it means long, soul-revealing chats like this every night for the next ten years. You deserve to be loved, honored, held, and made to feel beautiful, even when things aren’t perfect. I want to be the one to give that to you from now on.”

Hugging me tightly, he whispered. “One day, you’ll heal. One day, you’ll be ready to love again. And darling, I’m going to be there when that happens, because one day, you’ll be mine.”





Chapter 26: Rose



I blinked. What? No.

That had to be a lie.

“Give me another one!” I shouted.

“No!” Natalia yelled. “Accept your fate and admit I was right!”

“No! That’s impossible!”

I was sitting in my bathroom with a gallon of water on a Saturday afternoon. For the past week I’d been feeling super sleepy. I thought my period was coming, because it was due and my boobs were sore. But I couldn’t keep anything down, and I hated the smell of onions. After fighting with me about my period not being here, Natalia threw an old pregnancy test she found in the closet at me and demanded I take it.