One Day You'll Be Mine(42)

I placed the mugs, keychains, and the few other knickknacks I’d picked up in a special box I left on Natalia’s counter. I had to admit, she had a gorgeous home. I’d never really been to Dallas, but the city seemed nice. I looked forward to unwinding here.

While Natalia was at work, I’d spend my days listening to audiobooks while laying in bed. When I couldn’t take anymore laying around, I’d get up and find something to clean. It was a tough task, because Rose kept a pretty spotless home, however, after a week, I realized cooking is where I’d best contribute.

Rose hardly had time to cook outside just a few times per week, but she had groceries in her fridge to die for. Both fridge and freezer sections were stocked with all types of curated marinades, produce, seafood, grains, and dry goods. I hadn’t been able to cook in a while, but I picked up my love of the art again as time passed. It was amazing to cook without limitations, or having to wonder if there was any convincing my sometimes finicky pizza-loving son to try something new.

Cooking reminded me of the days I’d experiment in Mrs. Houston’s kitchen on the weekends. Hollis and Ellis’s mother, Mary, enjoyed letting me come over and cook family meals. It was a small price to pay for being able to eat at her house almost every night.

Spending every evening at her house, eating meals with Hollis’s family, was exactly how I’d gotten to build such a close relationship with her. I’d say we’re still close to this day, but I wasn’t ready to discuss any of the current issues I’d been facing with Hollis. Not so much because she didn’t need to know, but honestly, I didn’t know how she’d take this information, or if it was worth even sharing. How do you tell your mother-in-law, a woman who’d been there for you when your mother wasn’t, that her son was breaking every conceivable vow he’d taken?

In my eyes, you just couldn’t. It felt impossible. If everything fell apart now, I’d surely be alone and alienated, not simply from Mrs. Houston, but from the only family I’d come to have over the past twenty years of my life.

***

Natalia and I would go for walks almost every evening when she came home. We’d walk around the upscale area surrounding her home, work up an appetite, and come home for a gourmet meal, then a shower.

We didn’t really talk then, just simply took in the scenery. It wasn’t unusual for her to take a phone call from her mother, who often checked in on her and the wedding plans. Ellis wasn’t due back until February, but Rose spared no moment in preparing for the big day. It was sweet to observe, seeing as I never got the opportunity to plan my wedding. Hollis and I kept it simple. After heading to the courthouse, we held a small ceremony at his family’s chapel, and then enjoyed a small reception.

With the exception of my mother and her fiancé of the month, nobody from my family showed up. Only three of my girlfriends came. Even though my mother was dead, and none of those friends were in my life anymore, I wanted to hold a ceremony where Hollis and I could renew our vows. It was my opportunity to have the wedding I never did. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I indulged in watching Rose blissfully plan hers. I couldn’t wait until the big day. I knew it would be an affair to remember.

***

Rose did an excellent job hosting me. Every day I stayed at the house, I rediscovered parts of myself that I forgot existed: Natalia the Cook, the Lover, the Book Reader, the Traveler, and the aspiring Writer. All these multifaceted portions, they all came to the surface and reunited with me in Dallas.

I realized there were so many things I wanted to accomplish, but being stored up inside Twenty-nine Palms had taken that away from me. And speaking of Twenty-nine Palms, I missed Jordan and Kelli terribly, but it was time to say goodbye. I realized how stagnant I was there, and figured perhaps this was what I needed to gain space and my sense of self back – because, if I had lost this much of myself, of course my husband would fall out of love with me. There was nothing to love but a robot in a wifely routine.

Time apart, unfortunately, hadn’t done much for my marriage. Hollis remained hostile. He never reached out to me once during the time I’d left, but he was tagged in several pictures with Presley. Nothing stood out about these photos to the naked eye, but deep down, my gut twisted every time I’d see them together. There was this subtle glow between the two of them, pictured together holding beers, and horsing around, and that glow could only come from love. Kristophe continued to maintain his innocence in knowing about any extramarital affairs Hollis was having, but come on! How could you be around two men who were screwing each other and not realize something was going on?