One Day You'll Be Mine(17)

Imagine my surprise when she turned the tables on me, and let me know that she had emailed me, and heard nothing. Going through my emails, I still hadn’t seen it. She insisted she had, and when we got to the bottom of things, the editorial ended up going to the wrong Rose.

Alejandro and I bumped into each other once or twice since the day we’d talked. Each time he was friendly, but his nerves were something else. You could feel the change in the air as they’d snap, crackle, and pop all over the place. There was no denying the boy had a crush on me. I thought it was cute, even though nothing would ever happen. I didn’t poop where I ate, and he was too young. Besides, I was a newly married woman, happily in love. I wouldn’t even be here for another six months.

Ellis landed overseas safely. Our communication wasn’t perfect. I couldn’t always video chat with him like I’d wanted, but we definitely kept in touch. He’d at least email daily, and call when he couldn’t get the internet to work.

I stopped hearing from Ellis in the middle of the week. I checked the news; there was a lot of information about ISIS, but nothing of military base attacks. I emailed him again throughout the weekend, at least two or three times, and Skyped him also.

My entire Sunday plans were ruined as I spent the day in bed, covers over my head as I feared the worst. It’s a despicable misery, wondering whether or not the man you’ve married is dying in a ditch, or severely injured and you can’t be there for him.

Dragging myself out of bed Monday morning was dreadful. I had no interest in speaking to anyone, or putting on a happy face. My dark, puffy eyes were barely covered by concealer; there was almost no hiding my somber tone.

Even wearing statement glasses in the office, with a messy bun didn’t help. Several people asked me if I was okay, and I just told them I wasn’t feeling well. I really wish I was able to get away with wearing Gucci shades without looking crazy. I was out of my mind, sadness rippling through me with no signs of stopping.

I checked my phone every hour on the hour. Eventually, I gave up, realizing I wouldn’t hear from him until he contacted me, and that no will in my spirit could force him to call me. I spent lunch working at my desk due to lack of appetite and falling behind on my workload. It wasn’t helpful.

I forced my way through the day until I called it quits and left 20 minutes early. I had no idea what to do, but I couldn’t focus on anything. My mind was running rampant, wondering where Ellis was and why he wasn’t contacting me. I spent the evening on the internet, looking up stories about dealing with deployment, and husbands missing for days. Reading stories about having to face your feelings, holding pity parties, and staying busy resonated, but they didn’t calm the stress of actually breathing through this storm brewing inside.

After two hours of exhaustive research, I dragged myself to bed. Plugging the phone on the charger and setting it on the nightstand, I accepted that this would be another evening of tossing and turning, sleeping on and off, and randomly awaking with a start when I’d least expect it, hoping I’d have at least a missed call to know he was okay.

As I laid in darkness fingering the corner of my pillow, I prayed quietly to the Lord. I just wanted my husband to be okay. I needed a sign he was alright. Anything would do.

I looked out the window, staring into the lights of the city, wondering when I’d be able to rest peacefully again.





Chapter 6: Rose



My soul continued to rot between the jagged abyss between sleep and delusion when a familiar sound went off. It took a couple seconds to orient myself before realizing that my phone was going off.

I didn’t check to see who it was, just grabbed to answer, hoping for the best.

“Hello?” I sounded as hopeful as I was.

“Hey baby.” Ellis sounded weary, as if he hadn’t slept in days himself.

“Baby! I miss you!” I screamed into the phone. “Where the fuck have you been?!” I started crying hysterically. Instead of letting him answer, I started going in on him fitfully, cursing him out, telling him the gory details of the emotional flux I’ve been in thanks to his disappearance. I ended my rant with, “Don’t ever scare me like that again!” I knew he couldn’t control the fate of his base’s communication, but I had to say it anyway. It made me feel better.

“I’m sorry baby,” he soothed. “You know I wouldn’t have deliberately gone this long without contacting you. We had a series of attacks. They shut the base communications off when this happens. We can’t call, email, or contact anyone. It secures us, and allows them to protect service members’ privacy.”