He wouldn’t say anything tonight. It was just...he should’ve thought more about what keeping this friendship of theirs alive would mean to her down the road. Good God, her ideal man had been Payton. The steadiest guy in the world. A real nine-to-fiver, who would have fit nicely into the 1950s.
Rick was nothing like that.
She thought a suit made him look hot. He’d rather have a root canal than wear one. And that summed up a lot of the differences between them.
He changed back into his real wardrobe. Worn jeans and a thick sweater made complete by a pair of his trusty Nikes.
Damn it, the guilt wasn’t easing but he didn’t want to ruin their last night together.
What if all this—the phone calls, flying to Chicago, her coming here—was holding Jenna back from finding someone she could build a life with? They didn’t talk about it, really. So far the physical distance between them had made it easy to overlook problems that would torpedo most relationships.
The phenomenal sex didn’t help. It was the best, most adventurous and just plain hot sex he’d ever had. But the idea of not talking to her, not flying wherever he needed to go, not being inside her, made him ache in a way he’d never once felt even watching Faith kiss another man.
He’d always known that he and Jenna could only ever be friends. Well, no, that wasn’t accurate. In the beginning, yes, their relationship had been very clear to him. But to be honest, it had turned to gray very quickly. Tonight he’d had a taste of what it would be like with Jenna. To really be with her.
He liked it. A hell of a lot. But the phone could ring any minute, and he’d have to rush out the door straight into an oncoming storm.
She’d told him the kind of man she wanted for the long run. She’d never been coy about it. Being with him... It would make both of them miserable. He wasn’t going to do that to Jenna.
He just needed to be more careful, that was all. More aware. After this trip, maybe they shouldn’t talk every night. He should give her some space to start dating again. Even if he had no desire to date, she might.
Jesus. He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t stand to think about her seeing someone else. It would kill him to know. But he’d have to know eventually. Because it could mean the end of their...whatever it was they had.
Of course it would end them. Shit. He needed to get real. Because he cared too much about her to stand in the way of her moving on.
Well, goddamn it. This was a hell of a way to discover that he was in love.
* * *
JENNA WAS STILL futzing with the big bowl of popcorn, making sure the top didn’t close all the way so the steam wouldn’t make the popcorn soggy, when Rick asked, “How did you like driving the Jeep? Have any trouble?”
The popcorn instantly forgotten, she spun to face him, her eyes huge and excited. “It was awesome. The Rubicon totally rocks. I love it so, so much, I can’t even describe it.”
Surprised, Rick laughed. Definitely not the reaction he’d expected. “Just like that,” he said, snapping his fingers. “I’ve been replaced by a Jeep.”
“Sorry, but yeah. I felt like king of the road in that thing. You know how terrible traffic is in Boston. If I drove that baby in the city, there’d be semis and Hummers and me. Everyone else had better get the hell out of the way.”
Rick really laughed. “This is a whole side of you I haven’t seen.” He needed this comic relief. He’d tried to lighten up over dinner, and for the most part he believed he’d pulled it off. But seeing her like this...this was great. He’d worried about her driving the Jeep for nothing. Maybe their differences weren’t so great after all.
“Puts my little Camry to shame,” she said, turning back to the popcorn. “Maybe I’ll trade it in.”
“You don’t want a Rubicon where you live.” Rick watched her put things on a tray. “I don’t know about watching a movie. Or the popcorn, since I just ate my weight’s worth of the best lasagna ever.”
“Let’s just start a movie.” Jenna used her I’m-completely-unaware-of-subtext smile. “Then we can maybe do something else.”
“Look,” he said. “I’m all in favor of bribing me with sex. Works for me, every time. But, and I may be wrong, using it to watch a movie? What could you possibly want to see that would be worth throwing down bribes?”
“I think Ladyhawke is on tonight, and I haven’t seen it in years. It’s one of my favorites. Although, I should have checked the time and channel. But here,” she said, giving him the popcorn bowl and then grabbing them drinks.
“Uh, Rutger Hauer?”
“And Michelle Pfeiffer,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows, and then leading him to the stairs.
“And now you’re enticing me with pretty women? Does she get naked in this movie?”
“No.”
“Does she mention me by name?”
Jenna laughed. “Several times.”
“Oh, okay, then. Let’s give it a go. But first, I must insist that we take off all our clothes.”
Entering the bedroom, Jenna pulled off her red sweater. “Nope.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll agree to wearing one of your T-shirts and my panties.”
“Ah,” Rick said. “The classics. Good choice.”
It didn’t take them long to settle into the TV-watching position. Pillows behind them, popcorn between them, lots of napkins on either side. He barely remembered Ladyhawke. It wasn’t exactly his kind of movie. If memory served, the ending of this film was really, really—no kidding—really schmaltzy.
“It started twenty minutes ago.” Jenna sounded so sad, he wanted to kiss her. Help her feel better.
Instead he told her, “I don’t mind. I think I remember someone escaping from some medieval prison or something, by using the Shawshank maneuver.”
“Close enough.” She leaned over and kissed him very sweetly. “Thank you.”
“Do I have your word that even if I fall asleep, you’ll wake me for sex?”
She tipped her head to the right. “On my last night here? What do you think?”
Her last night. Rick tried to smile, for Jenna’s sake. But he wasn’t feeling it.
* * *
JENNA HADN’T SEEN the film in ages. When she’d seen it for the first time, she’d fallen deeply in lust with Rutger Hauer and the wondrously happy ending. Matthew Broderick had been a revelation, and, well, she’d been young. Watching it now with Rick, she wasn’t sure how she felt.
“You really think of this as a romance?” Rick asked, his hand steadily moving from the popcorn bowl to his mouth. Despite all his protestations that he was far too full.
“Of course it is. True love, a wicked curse that keeps them apart, the fight to find a way back to each other. What film are you watching?”
“I don’t really see it that way. By all rights, they shouldn’t have been able to break the curse. It’s a tragic love story with a cheat at the end.”
“But the cheat at the end isn’t that outrageous. People knew what eclipses were. And the priest felt guilty, so...”
“Well,” he said, shaking his head. “The beauty of the film is that the two of them can never have what they desire. They’re destined to just miss each other every sunrise and every sunset.”
“Well, that’s romance, too. If they never give up.”
“Then neither of them can ever be happy. Which is basically a tragedy.”
Jenna sighed. “No. Because loving someone despite the odds is every romance. And Navarre still had to win her at the end.”
“See, I think they had to add that. Take a film like, um, Witness. They can never be together. Their worlds are so far apart. It’s still a love story, but there was no magic trick in the end to give them a happily-ever-after. He had to leave her if either of them were ever going to find happiness.”
“Fine,” she said. “But here comes the part where Michelle runs into his arms, so shhh. Eat your popcorn quietly, please.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said.
She watched the rest of the film, but he’d ruined it for her. Not intentionally. She was certain for him it was simply a discussion about the film. For her, though...all she could think about was their own impending tragedy.
Being here had been so great. With the exception of that little blip when he’d gotten home, when she’d realized she had gone a little overboard, it had been a perfect week. Waking up to his smile, laughing together, going out to dinner and making love without a care in the world.
Knowing he’d be there at the end of the day.
There was this line on a TV show she loved. The main characters said it to each other. I love you and I like you. She’d been thinking about that for a couple of days now, but she couldn’t figure out a way to get there. Not with Rick. As much as she...who was she kidding? As much as she loved him, they were destined to be friends until one of them met the right person.
When the movie ended, she took away the popcorn bowl so there was nothing between them. All it took was one kiss, and yes, her hand going around his cock, to wash away any lingering thoughts about endings and things that could never be.
She didn’t rush things. Once he was hard, she skimmed her palm over his dark thatch of hair, then above it, carefully, slowly, memorizing.