One Breathless Night(11)
“What is that?” she asked, looking at the shirt. Her voice was a bit higher. Lighter. “An eye?” She took the shirt, unfolded it and put it up against his chest. “A tornado inside an eye. That’s very clever. I guess there are lots of people who love storm chasing.”
“Yep. Lots.” His voice, on the other hand, had gotten lower. And his mouth had gone dry. She’d washed the smudged makeup off her face and even this close her skin was flawless. Smooth as silk. Her light floral scent teased his nostrils and messed with his already foggy brain. But he wasn’t going to move.
“‘Certified storm watcher,’” she read on the bottom of the shirt, which was exactly where he didn’t want her to look. He wasn’t hard. That would have been pretty scary, actually. He was thirty-four, for God’s sake. But he was definitely starting to thicken.
“I don’t know about this,” she said, her full lips curving up at the corners. “Someone might mistake me for an actual storm watcher.”
“And that would be so terrible? You disrespecting my profession?”
Jenna blinked at him, saw he was teasing and laughed. “No. Just a little too busy having my very own earthquake. Everything seems to be falling to pieces around me.”
He studied her a moment. Despite the comment she wasn’t the sad woman who’d walked out of the bedroom. “Well, lucky for you no one will see you wearing the T-shirt but me.”
She blinked again.
“Somehow that did not come out how I meant it,” he said and put the shirt over her arm, picked up both mugs and gave her his most innocent smile.
When they were both seated, he found the remote and turned off the living-room feed. After pressing two more buttons, he put the remote away and waited for Jenna’s reactions. What Sam had done in this room alone was right up there with the most innovative tech he’d ever seen.
“The walls.”
He grinned. “They’re changing colors. And if you listen...”
“The music has changed, too. It’s very soothing. But it’s not trying to lure me to sleep. Just to relax.”
“Yeah, that’s... You caught on way faster than I did. But you’re right. Each seat on the end of this sectional turns into a recliner, except they’re both massage chairs. Better than any I’ve tried before.”
“If you keep telling me stuff like that, I’m never going to leave.”
“I can’t do it justice, but okay, that huge fridge in the kitchen? It knows when it’s run out of something. Not every single thing you’d put in there, but all the normal stuff like soda or beer or eggs. Even stuff in the freezer. Anyway, the fridge orders the replacements. You can add or take off anything you want. If you order before ten in the morning, you’ll have your delivery by five that evening.”
“This is crazy. I’ve heard about smart houses, but that was just to turn off the lights, or water the lawn on time. I could sit here all day and watch the walls change colors. I want to say it’s like a lava lamp, but it’s not. It’s the walls, the ceilings.”
“If it’s dark, you can see the night sky on the ceiling.”
“Does it keep refilling my cocoa?”
“Nope. But I will.”
She smiled at him. “With a place like this, why would anyone want to leave?”
“I don’t know. I guess for me, being alone, even with every gadget here, would get lonely after a while. I like good company.”
“Bummer for you that you’re stuck with me tonight.”
He stood up to start the second batch of cocoa, but he stopped in front of Jenna first. “I’m really glad that you’re here. And I’m glad we’re going to be snowed in. Even if it is just for a day or so.”
The smile brought on by the pretty walls was replaced by one just for him. “If my world had to fall apart, anyway, there’s no one I’d rather be with.”
6
OF COURSE SHE couldn’t sleep. As soon as she’d slipped under the covers and closed her eyes the first image that came to mind was of Payton and Faith kissing. Although, on the plus side, the second was a snapshot of Jenna punching him in the jaw. It had helped relax her some.
After rearranging her pillow for the tenth time, she turned on her side and stared between the slanted blinds covering the window. The snow hadn’t let up. If anything, it was coming down heavier now. Maybe that was why she’d found the room a bit chilly. Though snuggled under the covers it was nice and cozy.
She rolled over to face the wall and forced herself to close her eyes. She really was exhausted. Sleep should have been the easiest thing in the world but as the minutes ticked by, her mind refused to settle. She wasn’t only obsessing about Payton, either. Her thoughts had been straying to Rick with alarming frequency.
He’d been great out there on the couch. After distracting her with descriptions of the apartment’s many wonders, he’d listened patiently as she’d gone through all five stages of grief in about half an hour. She must have sounded like a lunatic.
He really was ridiculously handsome. Those blue eyes of his were made to mesmerize. She’d found herself staring. And staring. She’d looked away, sure. Only to notice how long and elegant his fingers were, how large his hands. His touch, she thought, would feel amazing on bare skin.
And kissing her like he had at the party, then at Copley Square, and on the street, in the taxi...
Jesus.
Okay, she was entirely too sober for this torture.
She started to flip over again when she heard her phone. The phone she thought she’d turned off. Heart thudding, she slipped out from the covers. It was Payton, of course—she didn’t have to look to know that. And it wasn’t a text. Even though she’d texted that they would talk tomorrow.
Maybe she just needed to say her piece, get it over with so she could finally sleep. Hoping like hell it wasn’t a mistake, she grabbed the cell phone before the call was sent to voice mail. “Hello?”
“Jenna. Thank God.” His voice shook. “Where are you?” he asked, managing to sound worried, relieved and exasperated all at once.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, she’d grabbed some tissue from the box she’d left on the nightstand. But the frustration in his tone reminded her that he thought she was being ridiculous. So no, she doubted she would be shedding any tears. “Why are you calling, Payton? I was very clear about waiting until tomorrow.”
“I’ve been worried sick. How could you expect me to wait? Running off without a word, not answering my calls. This isn’t at all like you.”
Unbelievable. Could he even hear himself? “Well, I guess we both stepped out of character tonight.”
His sigh came through loud and heartfelt. “I’m sorry about what happened with Faith. I really and truly am. But I swear to you, it meant nothing. It wasn’t planned...it just happened.”
“It just happened,” she murmured, another piece of her heart splintering off.
“You know what I mean.”
Sadly, she thought she did. Basically, Payton, who took pride in his steady, orderly life, his well-planned future, hadn’t been able to control himself around Faith. Astonished at how calm she felt, Jenna remained completely quiet while he began another round of apologies.
“I have a question,” she said, cutting him off. “We’ve been going to the BU party for five years. It was your reunion and why go anywhere else when there was a great buffet and dancing and all the perfectly logical reasons you basically insisted we go to that party every New Year’s Eve.” She forced herself to slow down, made sure he wouldn’t hear her quickened breathing. “Were you hoping to see Faith?”
His hesitation was the last straw. She felt numb and cold at the same time. The silence might’ve lasted only a matter of seconds, but it told her everything. No matter what he said now, the evidence was in.
“No, of course not,” he said. “Naturally, I thought it would’ve been nice to see her and catch up but—but no, we’ve enjoyed the party every year. You told me so yourself...” He kept talking, but Jenna stopped listening.
Nothing he could say would ever erase those few moments of damning silence.
One option was to hang up. Turn off the phone. But in spite of everything, she didn’t want to hurt him any more than she had to. There was no joy in ending their relationship.
Payton was a great guy. Just not the right great guy. Even if they did manage to stay friends, so many changes lay ahead of her. For one thing she’d have to return her wedding dress, which was a shame. It was gorgeous. And the engagement ring. But those were just two of the hundreds of things that were irrevocably changed by a hesitation. No, that wasn’t true. The hesitation was simply the tipping point.
God, she was sad. Her lover, her fiancé, her closest friend went on to explain, to rationalize the kiss, the reason he’d never mentioned Faith before. He made promises he’d most likely keep, but he couldn’t change the fact that in the moment of his hesitation, she’d seen the two of them so clearly.
Payton had been the man Jenna wanted. He would be home every night. They’d never be too far apart. He wouldn’t travel on business. When they finally bought a home of their own, he would take care of the maintenance. Handle their savings beautifully.