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Once Upon A Time(8)

By:S.K. Hartley


“Mer!” She rolled her eyes, the weird noise leaving her lips making me chuckle. “This isn’t happening. I’m calling DEFCON 0!”

Say what now?

The sadistic smirk that quickly took over Kylie’s features not only confused me but scared the ever-loving shit out of me. What the hell was she planning? Pulling out her cell, she pressed a couple of buttons before placing it against her ear.

“DEFCON 0!” she chimed into the phone.

Now the only person I could think of that knew the best friend code was Quinn. I wasn't just scared, I was petrified.

Kylie paused for a moment as I let my legs drop from the coffee table. She rolled her eyes as if irritated before balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder. Confusion must've been written all over my face as she chuckled at me before turning around and marching her ass into my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

Well shit.

I was screwed.

Standing from my position on the couch, I grabbed my purse and made my way to the bathroom. I needed to soak in the tub and there was no way in hell my crazy ass friends where dragging me out of it. Dumping my purse on the vanity, I turned on the hot water and made quick work of my "Smurf outfit."

Turning to the mirror, I grabbed a handful of makeup remover wipes and went to town on the layer of makeup covering my face. Within minutes the water was ready and I was quickly soaking in bubbly bliss. But the moment my muscles relaxed, I was quickly jumping out of my skin, trying to cover the essentials - which is pretty damn hard if you have more than a handful of boobs – as Kylie swung open the bathroom door and stepped right inside with a smile on her face.

Seriously? Did she have to smile like that while my boobs and vagina are all… hanging out like a mother's meeting?

Kylie rolled her eyes as I stared at her open mouthed.

I’m sorry, but I have an issue with women seeing my junk. Kylie may be my best friend but best friends don’t need a visual map of her best friend's cooter.

“You’re such a prude, Payton Miller!” Kylie strutted further into the bathroom and crouched down beside the tub. She was eye level with my boobs. Totally not uncomfortable at all! “Quinn will be here in t-minus ten minutes to help turn you from Smurf to Smurfette.”

So I resemble a little blue person? Awesome.

“Kylie, I really don’t want to go out tonight. I’m exhausted.” I groaned, trying to use the bubbles to hide my nudity. “Anyway, don’t you have a major meeting with Phil tomorrow?”

She chuckled softly, dipping her finger into the water. “Yup.” She smiled, making a popping sound on the P. “You'll be able to inform him of how much of a bad influence I am when we get to the bar. He just loves a good COCKtail.”

That explains soooo much.

“Come on, woman! We need to celebrate, it’s not every day you get a client handed to you on a plate from the woman who put P in PR.” She moaned, pulling her hand out of the tub, flicking water in my face.

I groaned and quickly sunk beneath the water, promptly inhaling bubbles up my nose. With a cough and a splutter, I came back up to the surface, choking on the endless bubbles I had created. With a soft sigh I realized I really wasn't getting out of this.

“Fine,” I grumbled, waving my hand at my white fluffy towel draped over the edge of the bathroom door, indicating for Kylie to grab it for me.

“Yes!” Kylie fist pumped, handing me the towel.

Standing from the water, I wrapped the towel around my body, mastering the skill of keeping my vagina out of Kylie’s eye line. With a deep sigh, I climbed out of the tub, chuckling softly as I watched Kylie roll her eyes before handing me a hair dryer and hair brush.

“You have five minutes. Quinn is on his way. I'll be in your room looking for something for you to wear.” She beamed, swiftly turning on her heel and leaving the room.

Oh hell.

Shaking my head, my grasp tightened around the hair dryer and hair brush as I started going to work on my shoulder-length blonde hair.

Once my hair was semi-dry, I made my way out of the bathroom, padding across the hall to my room. I noticed my bedroom had been completely taken over by Kylie. It seemed she had literally gone into my closet and thrown everything I owned on the floor. Walking further into the room, I gaped at Kylie as she held up a dress I hadn't warn since high school. I didn't even know why I still had it.

“Over my dead body,” I stated, eyeing the offending black mini dress.

She twisted the dress in her hands, gazing down at it before turning back to me. “That can be arranged.” She winked.

I groaned, pushing Kylie out of the way – with a little more enthusiasm than was needed – and poked my head into my closet, smiling as I noticed she hadn't pulled out the box on the top shelf. Moving to my tip-toes, I grabbed for the box and pulled it out. I moved to the bed, ignoring Kylie’s curious gaze as I placed it down and opened it.