The panic closed my throat. Or maybe it was the hairspray. “How should I know?”
“Well, it’s your responsibility to find him or we’re down one groomsman.”
“Find him?”
“You’re the maid of honor. You’re supposed to be making this day easy for Lindsey.”
Lindsey mourned her thinned eyebrow. “And it’s not been easy, Mandy. Not at all!”
“Nate’s not here?” The words crawled out of me, sick and miserable.
Lindsey grumbled under her breath, stealing the tweezers from the stylist and attempting to balance out the razor thin line of her eyebrow.
“This has to be your fault,” my sister said. “What the hell is going on with you two?”
I didn’t want to answer that. I took a chance that maybe it was one of her rhetorical questions, the ones she spat before she ranted at my face until I groveled in my own apologies.
Not this time. She expected an answer.
Lindsey plucked a hair out of my arm. I yelped, but she aimed with the tweezers for another bite of my skin.
“Why isn’t Nate here? I know you’ve been fighting with him. What did you do?”
The salon was packed. Mom, Lindsey, five bridesmaids, and seven stylists waited for my answer in silence. That was fourteen people too many to learn the truth about what happened.
I glanced at the patient stylist handling my hair. “Is there a place I can talk with them?”
She pointed towards the hallway leading to the restrooms. Good enough. At least I was close to a toilet in case I had to throw up.
Mom and Lindsey followed me, arms crossed, the same judgmental scowl plastered on their faces.
This wasn’t going to be easy, but it could be discreet. I’d give them the bare minimum, leave to find Nate, and promise him whatever he wanted if he made it to the wedding and let me explain everything.
I took a breath. “Okay. Nate and I have been…” What was the right word? “Involved.”
Lindsey nearly hit the ceiling. “You what?”
“We had a fight two days ago. I don’t know where he is now, but I’ll call him.”
Lindsey didn’t buy it for a minute. “You’ve been dating Nate?”
“Yeah.”
“No, no. I don’t believe you. You would never date a man like Nate. You’ve been hiding something for weeks. You’re acting weird. And, honestly, you haven’t put this family first for a long time.”
“You have no idea what I’ve been doing for this family.”
“Ruining everything, apparently, even scaring away one of the groomsmen!” Lindsey’s hands trembled.
Oh shit. She was going to blow. Even Mom took a step back.
“You messed up the catering order. You didn’t have the courtesy to maintain your weight with the dresses. You cut your hair, and they can’t get your curls into the up-do I wanted! You didn’t bother learning how to do my dance. You never finished the paper flowers. You should’ve been working on the party all night. Instead you went home.”
“I had to sleep!”
“No, you didn’t! You could have stayed up for one night to help.”
“You weren’t there.”
“I’m the bride. I have to look beautiful. You’re the Maid of Honor. No one cares what you look like.”
Mom crossed her arms. “Let’s not forget, we needed you to deliver messages to your father, and you refused.”
This wasn’t happening. “Mom, I couldn’t play messenger all the time. You were just fighting with Dad, and it wasn’t getting anything done.”
“And so you thought it’d be better if you caused more stress.”
“I thought it’d be better if you talked to your husband.”
Mom stiffened. “This is Lindsey’s day, and you’ve done everything in your power to make it as difficult as possible for all of us.”
“Are you kidding?” I wasn’t ready to defend myself from this. “I’ve put you guys first for months.”
“It sure doesn’t seem like it,” Lindsey said.
“Believe me, if you knew what I’ve been going through—”
“It doesn’t matter what you’ve been doing! This is my wedding. Nothing is more important!”
“Everything is more important!”
I didn’t mean to yell, didn’t realize I had until the profanity echoed through the hall.
And I didn’t care. For the first time, I didn’t care what my family thought. I wasn’t going to be hurt by the very people I tried so hard to protect.
I loved my family, but couldn’t they see how much pain I was in?
“For the past three months, I’ve done everything for this family,” I said. “I spent all my time-off from work. I’ve made crafts and researched prices and confirmed appointments and dropped everything to take care of this wedding, and neither of you appreciate it.”