“But—”
I pointed at her, my voice a little too shrill. “Look. We’re pressed for time and it’s not looking any better. We have to adapt.”
“They’re funeral flowers.”
“So? We’re on our own right now, Lindsey. Do you understand? This is it. It’s our only shot. No one else is coming to help us. We can’t waste time and hope for the best. We have to do whatever we can to stay afloat. You’re either in or out, but I’m not going to stop when the only opportunity I have left is about to slip through my fingers. You got it?”
Lindsey’s mouth dropped open. She timidly nodded. “Yeah…yeah, whatever you want, Mandy. That’s fine.”
I headed back to the car for the last load of requisitioned flowers, but Rick stopped me before I snuck through the fellowship hall. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the dark and quiet beyond the set-up.
“Okay, Mandy,” he said. “What the hell was that?”
Rick didn’t take a shrug and frown for an answer. He stood in my way, arms crossed and doing his best impersonation of the big brother I never had.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You’re not fine. You’re upset.” He lowered his voice. “Nate’s not here.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
“Liar. Where is he?”
I wished I knew. “I don’t know. We had the talk yesterday. I haven’t seen him since.”
“You told him?” Rick swore. “And he ran off?”
It wasn’t like that. I covered my eyes.
“No. Look, he offered to marry me—”
“—Nate?”
“I said no.”
Rick took a little walk, huffing as he paced. “Why?”
Why didn’t anyone understand? “I won’t get married just because I accidentally conceived child.”
“That’s the way it’s done.”
“It’s not the right way for me!” I bit my lip. “I know I’d be happy with Nate. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m completely overwhelmed by him. But I can’t marry him for the wrong reasons.”
“If you fell for him, then how can it be the wrong reason?”
“Because we’ve only been together for three months, and I’ve only been honest with him for like, eighteen hours.”
“You care about him.”
“I do, and that’s why I want to do this right. I want to know what we have is real. I’m not afraid of being alone in this. I’m afraid of losing Nate forever.”
Rick pulled me close. “Mandy, you will never be alone. You have your family. You have me. I promise you.”
I’d missed his hugs. He always knew what to say. I rested my head on his shoulder.
“It means a lot to me,” I said.
“It’s the truth. I want you to know if Nate doesn’t come through for you…I will.”
“You’re very sweet.”
He stroked my back. “This isn’t about being sweet. I know you don’t think it’s the right thing, but Nate offered to marry you so he could provide you with stability. It wasn’t just about how he felt, it was him taking responsibility.”
I hugged him closer. “Taking responsibility is a slippery slope into feeling resentment.”
“No.” Rick shook his head. “Not always. We’re men. We like to protect our woman and our families. What better way than to live with you, stay with you, take care of you?”
I sniffled. “I guess. But if I want more than that…?”
“Then you work at it.”
“I don’t even know if he’d ask again. Or what I’d say.”
Rick hesitated. “Mandy, I just want you to know you have more than one option here.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. You have me.”
I pulled away. Rick wasn’t smiling. He looked…serious.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You can marry me.”
I froze.
He wasn’t…he didn’t actually mean…?
His divorce was hardly finalized and he offered to marry me?
“We’re not in love,” I said.
He nodded. “I know. But we’re friends. You and I have something special, and it’s something rare. I’d provide for you, keep you safe, give the baby a good home.”
“Rick—”
“Don’t answer now, because it’s probably confusing for you. But know that you will never be alone. Marriage is about more than fairy tales and cupids. It’s an agreement between two people with mutual interests who care about one an other. I hope you understand that.”
I didn’t.