“I wasn’t sure how to tell you,” she said. “I tried. A couple times.”
Not hard enough. I dropped the photo before I accidently wrinkled it in my fist.
“How could you keep this a secret? I deserved to know.”
Mandy flinched. Her lip trembled, but she held it together.
She shouldn’t have pretended to be brave. Why didn’t I just hold her? Shock still froze me in place.
She swallowed. “You’re right. I wanted to tell you. I almost did a few weeks ago when we were doing the cake tasting. I had you in the back office alone. But then you told me about—”
“California.”
The thought shattered in my chest. Did I tell her I decided not to bid on the property in Santa Barbara? It hadn’t come up, and I hadn’t regretted missing the opportunity.
Christ, all this time she kept the baby a secret because…
“You thought I’d leave you?” The implication crushed me. “You were afraid to tell me about my baby because you were worried I’d move to the West Coast and leave you alone?”
“No. No, that’s not it at all.” She reached for me. I stood instead. “Nate, I didn’t want to stand in your way. You had all these plans. You’ve always had these plans. You’re not like me or Lindsey or Bryce or Rick. You’ve been on your own, and you’ve made your success unconventionally. No college, no support from your parents. You had an amazing opportunity, and I refused to let this ruin it.”
Ruin it?
It was a baby, not a crisis. How long had she worried about this?
“You should have talked to me the instant you found out.”
“I know. I regret it. Nate, please, what we have is special. I was afraid this would jeopardize it.”
“Didn’t you think I’d find out?”
“I planned to tell you after the wedding.”
“Why? So you could put everyone else first again? So you could worry about what they’d think or what they’d say? Mandy, you aren’t protecting them. You’re hiding from yourself and everything that this means.”
Her eyes welled with tears. “I was scared.”
“Yeah? I bet you were. I’m scared too, but Christ, I would’ve helped you. I would’ve protected you from anyone who gave you shit because you carried our baby.”
And I meant it.
Was I that untrustworthy? Did she think I wouldn’t be able to take care of her? That I couldn’t fix this?
No one would give her grief for this. I wouldn’t let anyone shame her.
Except Mandy worried about her family’s reaction. I hadn’t thought about mine.
It was the first time in years I gave a damn what they’d say, and I knew exactly what my father would have asked of me.
No, what he would have demanded I do.
I never agreed with him before. Now it only made sense.
“We should get married,” I said.
Mandy stared at me, her eyes dark with exhaustion, stress, and utter disbelief. “Married?”
My mind spelled the words with thorns. “Yeah. Married.”
“But why?”
“Because you’re pregnant.”
“We can’t get married because we’re having a baby.”
“Why the hell not?”
More tears. More stress. More loneliness.
Couldn’t I do anything right by her?
“We can’t get married just because there’s a child involved.” Mandy covered her tummy with a hand. “You’ve seen everyone else’s marriage lately. Mom and Dad can’t stand each other. Lindsey might murder Bryce before they get to the altar. Mom’s off sleeping with the groom’s father…” She sucked in a breath. “And your parents are married, but they’re—”
“This isn’t about them. This is about doing what’s right for us.”
“It is about them! Look around you. No one has a happy marriage. Everyone stays together for the wrong reasons. We should learn from that, not replicate it!”
That stung.
No. It fucking hurt.
“You wouldn’t want to be married to me?”
“Nate, three months ago, your throat would have swollen shut over that word.”
“Yeah? Well maybe that’s because I didn’t see what good there was in it. Not until I spent that night with you.” I swallowed. How could a woman as delicate as her rip me apart? “Maybe we didn’t have the connection I thought we did.”
“What?” Mandy’s eyes glistened with tears. “We do. I know we do.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me the truth about the baby?”
“I’m sorry—”
I tugged on my shirt and turned to the door. Mandy rushed after me.