“I have to tell you the truth.”
That didn’t sound good. “The truth?”
“I wished I hadn’t kept it from you.”
I tensed. Mandy brushed tears away neither of us wanted her to shed. She couldn’t look at me.
It didn’t matter. No matter what she said, what she thought, or what she feared, this woman was too good and innocent for secrets. Whatever it was, I could handle it.
I braced for anything.
“Nate, I’m pregnant.”
But I wasn’t ready for that.
19
Nate
Why was I still sitting in silence?
I should have said something.
Anything.
Mandy dressed in the quiet. I didn’t remember putting my jeans on. I hadn’t zipped them. I just sat on her couch.
I could have talked, but I didn’t know what I’d hear over my pounding heart.
Pregnant.
I didn’t expect it. I never thought of myself as a father. The possibility never crossed my mind.
I swallowed.
Pregnant.
A baby.
My baby.
With Mandy.
I rubbed my chin. “…How long?”
The question sounded too harsh. I probably should have asked it while holding her. These were the moments men held their women. When we kissed them. When we got excited and celebrated.
When we planned for something like this.
The shock numbed everything. Facts helped. Piecing together the puzzle calmed me down. I had to think as rationally as I could. No matter what, I had to make this right.
Mandy looked down. “I’ve known for a while.”
Okay. That wasn’t the question, but it explained a lot.
I nodded. “So, when did I…?”
Knock you up.
Wow, was I glad I didn’t say it out loud. What was a man supposed to ask? When did I impregnate you? That was too formal, too clinical. When did I put a baby in you?
Christ, it wasn’t like I hijacked a stork and stole the bundle to stuff clandestinely into her belly when she wasn’t looking.
“It happened the first night we were together,” Mandy said.
Whoa.
I stood, but the weight of that implication nearly slammed me to the couch again.
“The…first time? You’ve been pregnant for…like three months!”
She nodded. “I’m twelve weeks.”
I had no idea what that meant. What the hell happened to nine months? Did all men have to do division in their heads? Fathers-to-be probably got really fucking good at mental math.
I took a deep breath. It didn’t matter when or how. Mandy was pregnant. And she was scared.
And so far, she had been alone.
She twisted her fingers in her lap. “I planned to tell you after the wedding because the preparations were getting overwhelming. The stress and my parents fighting and Lindsey being Lindsey just made it too difficult. And…” She bit her lip. “The first trimester is tricky. A lot of things can go wrong.”
Her voice cracked. I knew why. She didn’t want to think such horrible thoughts.
Neither did I.
She shifted from the bed to root in her closet and handed me a small picture.
A sonogram.
“I didn’t want to say anything until it was certain.” She pointed to the little blur. “That’s it.”
I had no idea what I was looking at, so I stared at the words printed above it instead. Her name. Her birthdate.
Today’s date.
“This was from today?” I whispered.
“Everything is…fine. Perfectly healthy.”
“You went today. Alone?”
She nodded.
Oh shit. This wasn’t something she should have done alone. “Does anyone know?”
She wiggled her hand. The Band-Aid still covered her stitches. “Rick knows. He found out when I went to the ER.”
Rick?
That son of a bitch. He knew the whole fucking time.
I’d spent two hours with the bastard yesterday, moving tables and stringing lights in the bushes outside the church for the damn wedding. He pissed around with me, nearly getting my finger slammed on a rickety picnic table. Didn’t say a damn word. Just scowled.
The asshole blamed me for getting Mandy in trouble.
Damn it. I blamed myself too.
She was a virgin when I took her, and she probably wasn’t on the pill. But I had used a condom.
How the hell did I knock a virgin up? Jesus, I knew I was bad for her, but this bad?
Mandy’s tone shifted. She tensed, and I wished she’d sit down.
“No one else knows,” she said. It didn’t matter. “I didn’t want to upset Lindsey or Mom…and I don’t know how to tell my dad.”
I clenched my jaw. “You didn’t tell me either.”
She crossed her arms, almost shielding her stomach. She didn’t have to hide.
It made sense now. Her body was softer than I remembered. Feminine. I didn’t see any…bump, but that didn’t mean anything, especially when I held the sonogram in my hand.